August 30th 2011 Live life like there is no tomorrow!!!

It was early November and I finally hear the words I have been waiting for.  “Alberto you can go home, I will see you in 6 months for your follow up check up”.  As I left the clinic that morning I was very happy but no celebration took place.  It was expected.  I was then cancer free and that was all that mattered.  I beat the odds.  I Survived and lived on.  That was the important thing.  I went home only to find myself lonely, like in the middle of the ocean.  Sure I had Julissa and my friends and most important my family but now what?  It was time to get on with life, perhaps get a job and maybe start a family.  Thing people look forward to as I did.  However there was always that part where every single future plan even a day ahead was plagued with “what if it comes back again”.  It was fear, it was horror, it was many things but no matter how confident you are that you can beat it, you respect it and most of all you fear it.  You have that fear every day and every hour until it becomes part of you and in my case I carried it for 20 years.  20 years later I still fear it but I have found the confidence to not let it be a factor or control my life anymore.  That confidence is what the Ironman gave me, that is the end result of my race and my training, that is the new and improved me.

So, I could not finish the Ironman.  I always said shit happens and it sure did but I was ready to accept any outcome.   I had always written that God created everything in balance and that life was just a fragile balancing act.  Want proof.  Here you have it.  I rehearsed many times and cried many times as I imagined crossing the finish line.  I wanted it so much I could taste it.  What I never rehearsed was the dark solitary side of the road at mile 15 of the marathon where I would end up forced to surrender my race and what I have worked so hard for, the finish line.  For him, it was not about the line, it was about changing me and that meant testing my most remarkable asset.  My character.  It has taken me far in life both good and bad but it has been the one thing that makes me who I am.  Sunday night he taught me the only lesson that remained in this process.  Character is not equal to success, as you must equally have character to accept defeat and to accept that things are not always going to be what you expect or prepare for, even as your determination is unbreakable.  He gave me 130 miles to think about it, he was generous and when the time came he made his presence known and I was ready for the test.

I started my race in perfect fashion.  I was physically perfect.  Nothing was wrong, nothing.  I felt strong, my feet were perfect and by the way I never had a single ache on my feet all race long they were perfect.  As we lined up I was enjoying what was happening, it was an experience by itself just looking at 3000 athletes ready to take on such an amazing task.  We had a team prayer and then positioned ourselves as coach K told us.  Obviously the elites at the front and me somewhere in the middle.  I was there to race not for brunch.  Within 3000 people, I found an open spot about 30 feet around, and I just kneeled on the water and talked to him.  I thank him, and I said, let it be what you wish.  Off we go.  I found fairly clear water pretty quickly but as always I felt awful the first 800 mts or so.  I could not get my rhythm but hey what’s new?  I felt like I was struggling but kept going.  By the time I reached the mile marker I was feeling pretty good and by the time I reached the half way mark I was there just in my programmed time.  So, on my way back I was smooth and in perfect shape.  Plan was a 1:20 swim I stood up at 1:20:23 but I marked 1:21 because I had to wait for the line to move across.  Perfect.  My transition was uneventful and as planned actually 2 minutes better but I was still wobbling from the swim.  I got on my bike and by mile 2 I was a rocket.  I felt great.  As I said I had to watch my speed to stay aerobic but for some reason aerobic was 23-25 miles an hour, So, go baby go.  I flew thru the first 30-40 miles.  On the first climb I was disciplined, got on my climbing gear and up I went no problem.  I was watching my HR all the way and keeping my zone but the road was good and sort of downhill so I took advantage of that.  My problems started right after that first climb.  I was cramping.  Oh no what is this.  I revised my nutrition and my water and I was right on the money but no question my legs were cramping.  So I started drinking as much as I could.  As much as 30-40 oz every 10 miles or so but no relief.  I started then taking more salt but took it easy since I was so worried about the salt intake after my stroke; however it was the only thing I could think about.  As I entered Richter pass (a 6 mile climb) there is small hill to navigate and as I did, it seemed to alleviate my cramping however they returned right after I went up.  A mile down, another station, so I stopped to reload on water.   I drank another bottle while I was there and off I went.  Up we go.  I was cramping the whole way up and at mile 3 of the climb it was so severe I had to get off and walk a little bit to get rid of the cramps.  This would continue to about mile 56.  Here I realized my first mistake.  The special needs bags were not at mile 56 nut 20 more miles down the road.  That meant I had no more nutrition for 30 miles as I had already ran out as planned.  However, I always carry plan B.  I never use it but since the race had aid stations I did not need to carry an extra bottle of water and I was fine at 60 oz. which meant I had an extra bottle holder on the bike and I decided to take a bottle with pedialyte.  The baby drink to help babies when they dehydrate..  Now it just became my life saver.  I started to drink that and actually drank it within 15 minutes.  As I drank this I am still trying to figure out why my cramping.  I knew I was not dehydrated so it must be salt.  Having no other answer I popped 2 salt pills and drank them down with the pedialyte.  20 minutes latter as I was on my way to the special needs bags I was finally fine and my cramps went away so I was right, it was salt.  It felt eternal but I finally got to my bag and my replenishments.  I found a little spot away from the sun and quickly replenish everything including pedialyte and had a sandwich.  I changed my socks and I felt pretty good.  As I am coming out of the bathroom one of the volunteers points at me and says, “hey buddy you are bleeding are you OK”.  As I wiped my nose I saw I was bleeding.   I just said I was fine and kept walking.  He offered assistance but I just told him I was fine and that it always happened.  Obviously not true.  I had a pretty bad nose bleed and I knew exactly why.  At that moment I could only remember my mother and how much she would suffer if something happened there because of my blood pressure but there was no way I was going to pay attention to that at that moment so even as I was concerned I got back on my bike and rode away.  At this point I was drained; something took over where I was slow and without energy but kept on ridding as I could.  The next 16 miles would be up hill and by mile 95 I was cramping again.  I took the last two salt pills I had and ran out.  By mile 100 I was cramping again and had to get off the bike and walk the rest of the hill up.  So as we say, I blew up. From mile 102 it would be down hill and so I went as fast as I could.  BTW somewhere after the Special Needs bag I was stung by a bee on my left thigh.  How crazy is that!!!  As I return to town I started to prepare for the marathon. Other than the cramping which would go away if walking I felt pretty good by then.  I changed my uniform, refreshed and took on 2 slices of pizza and lots of water.  I was in the tent by 9:20 but my plan was 9:00.  I was running by 9:30 which meant a 7:30 marathon which is well within my reach.  As I start my run I felt as always with the brick legs so I started as planned on a 1 minute walk and a 1 minute run which would go on for about 1 mile.  By mile one I had my legs back and I felt perfect.  I was still a little winded so I continued on a 1 and 1 pace hoping to increase to 2 and 1 by mile 3 or 4.  At mile 1 ½ I saw Julissa at the side and stopped to kiss her and told her I would see her in a while as I kept on going.  As I crossed mile 3, past the water station,  the end begun.  The unthinkable, the thing I had forgotten about.  Yep…….Blisters!!!!!  It was my left foot.  I felt it and I knew it was coming but it was not quite there yet.  I was ready, as I had creams and blister shields which I was caring.  I stopped by the side of the road and greased up real good my foot.  As I got back on the road and started running again it felt worse so I started to walk, I still had time.  I was moving too.  I kept on trying to run but as I did, I could feel I was punching on it every step.  So I started protecting it but the only way to that was walking.  This went on for 12.8 miles.  With the turnaround just around the corner I started to worry about the time.  I had been doing calculations all the way and I was good but would have to maintain the pace or run some more.  I had decided that on the way back I would run the down hills and walk the rest.  That should be enough.  By mile 12.8 my biggest fear just materialized I am now hurting on my right foot.  I started walking on the side of my feet as I knew the special needs bag was right at the corner and I had everything I needed to fix my feet right there.  I made it past the mat in 3:36  with 3:54 to go on the race meaning a 5 minute stop to fix my feet and a 3:36 going back meant 13 minutes to spare which I for sure I would need to take care of my feet along the route.  I sat down, changed my socks, got my recovery drink ready, and got my feet ready to go in 4 minutes.  I checked the blisters and although they hurt the skin was still attached so I was in good shape.  So I am back on the road and walking fast.  At this point I am feeling strong and moving at about 15:45/mile which was very good.  As I pass the mile 14 marker I continue to calculate and felt pretty good about it.  Still moving at close to 16 minute miles I looked at my watch and it was 8:36.  At this point I could feel it.  If I made it to mile 16 by 9:00 I would be an Ironman no question about it.  However other plans were in the making.  As I started to climb about 1 ¼ miles from mile 16 I started feeling my right foot getting worse.  One step, two step, three step and boom!!!!!  A sharp lightning of pain ran up my leg all the way thru my spine to my head.  There it is the skin on my right foot just let go and broke creating a very big blister on my right foot.  As this happened there was an official motorcycle a few steps ahead and they had a flashlight.  I asked the official for the flashlight and took off my sock.  As I saw that blister I knew I was in real trouble.  I put on the sock and the shoe back on and continued to walk in real pain as I could no longer protect the left foot with the right foot as they are now both blistered.  I looked at my watch and set the pace.  I paced as fast as I could while tolerating the pain but pain was not the important thing it was not breaking off the skin on the left foot which is now protecting the right foot. So the best I could do while limping was about 18:15-18:20 per mile with 11 1/4 miles to go.  It is now 8:54PM.  I will continue to move for another 11 minutes trying everything possible to find a way.  Even to run.  By 9:06PM I was more than 10 3/4 miles from the finish line with less than 3:00 hours to make it back.  I made the calculation at least a dozen times but at a pace of 18:00/mile I will fall short by about a mile of the finish line or 15 minutes or so of the cutoff time.  I knew I had hills to go up and my feet will deteriorate as I walked along.  It was then I knew my Ironman was over.

I sat on the side of the road as I could just cry in disappointment.  I was heartbroken.   I sat there and thank him for allowing me to go for 130 miles and for everything he has done for me.  After a while  I was at peace as I understood what he wanted.  I understood where the balance was.  It was not about getting to the lights and celebration, it was about character.  It was about having the character to accept defeat on the side of the road 11 miles from the finish line.  That is what at least this Ironman was going to be for me.  I was ok.  Very Ok.  I understood.  What will happen next I have not even told Julissa?  I have not told anyone and frankly I was kind of wanting to keep it to myself.  But I have just received such an enormous amount of support from everyone that it is only fair I tell you how did my Ironman truly ended.

One of the most disappointing things in the Ironman event is when you do not make the cutoff or drop out of the race.  It is then an official asks you for your timing chip.  It is then when your race is truly over. Well, as I sat on the road some volunteers came to keep me company and some officials came by and asked this and that.  I was expecting someone to ask me for my chip but I still had it and no one had asked for it even as I told them I was done. I asked all of them to let me use their phone as I wanted to call Julissa and let her know what was happening but for some reason and even as I said the same thing to all of them, none either wanted to let me use it or did not have one, or had no battery.  About 25 minutes after another official rides up to me.  They are all very nice.  This was a young guy about my age or younger.  By now I am getting cold so the effects of 130 miles are taking their toll and I am very slow moving or getting up.  As he asks me if I was Ok I started crying again as I told him I was fine just heartbroken and disappointed as I was doing the event as a cancer survivor and for athletes for a cure.  Immediately he got off his bike and sat beside me.  He asked again if I was a cancer survivor and I said yes.  He gave some very encouraging words even as I realized why he was there so I asked him.  You are here for my chip right?  His answer I will never forget.  “Yes I need your chip but I will also tell my friend who was diagnosed with cancer last week that I just met a cancer survivor that just did an Ironman with heart and soul until his feet could not carry him any longer.  I know he would look forward to that in the future.”  His name was Walter.   Funny thing is I cannot describe Walter.  Yes like that.  I can describe the two volunteers that stayed with me, the officials that passed by and even the car I was transported to the aid station.  But not Walter.  He was actually the only one that was riding alone and what caught my attention was that he was not wearing a reflective vest either.  I cannot remember what the volunteers were doing while he sat beside me.  Its like a time lapse.  I was with the volunteers before he showed up then it was only him and me and then the volunteers again.   Before people say that I am either crazy of full of shit I will leave it at that but the truth of it that the only person I talked to and the only person I looked in the eyes, and the person that spent the most amount of time with, I cannot describe except that a picture pops in my head every time I try to describe him except for his age.   The picture I leave to your imagination.  He got on his motorcycle and drove away leaving me with the two volunteers as the support car just drove up.  These guys are trained on delivering bad news but I prefer to think Walter was genuine.  Actually I will forever know who Walter was, as I knew he would not leave me by the side of that road alone and disappointed.  I am sure he came by to make sure I understood that character was more important than a medal regardless of what that medal stands for.  My chip was not found as they were searching for it at the medical tent and I told them Walter took it.  Apparently he had to scan it to inform I was out of the race but at least at that time 2 hours later that had not happened.  You figure out the rest but I rather live with a smile on my face that my chip never made it back!!!!!

I did it.  I did the unthinkable.  My coach turned a sloppy fat guy into at least a half athlete.  To him I say I had the distance no question about it.  I was ready.  I need feet to get there but we will find a way and I will get my Ironman somehow someday.  The lessons learned, to me by far will exceed any event in history.  To my friends and teammates I can only say thank you from the bottom of my heart, to my readers I must say I love you all for following what has been a transformation of mind and soul, and to Winter I can only say, mission accomplished as we raised 80,000 for cancer research and don’t worry my Ironman will come soon.

Finally I truly and from my heart appreciate your comments about me being an Ironman regardless of what transpired and I know I am and I feel that way.  However the event, the sport and the people that accomplish such an amazing event deserve all the admiration and respect that the Ironman for so long has endured and signifies.  Even as you can feel it and even as me being an Ironman in so many ways, Kenneth, Carlos, Raul, Jose, Frank, Diane, Manny, Pepe, Julio, Chewi, Georgie, and Henry you guys are true Ironmans.  Congratulations and it was a privilege racing and training with you guys.

Life is about balance life is about believing not only in yourself but in someone that is there to protect you and guide you.  You must accept the bad and you must remember and cherish the good.  In summary life is very short so, LIVE LIFE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW

Aug, 26, 2011 I am Ready

WOW!!!  Now I am nervous as I can get.  But don't get me wrong I am having fun and peacefull.  Very Peacefull.  I can no longer look at the past, as I can only move ahead.  Its not that I don't remember y just want to let it be.  I am so ready for this it is not funny!!!  I am starting to believe, I am starting to get that feeling right before you are about to face the enemy, the feeling where nothing can stop you.  That is where I am.  A changed man no question.  I wish you would all be in my head and see just how I think today and just how much I have healed.  Julissa said yesterday "I wish I could be inside of you to see what you see"  refering to my vision but I now she knows I am not the same man she married today 16 years ago.

Just to prove how ready I am mentally.  Ironman requiered a vision test before the event to make sure I could race safely.  I went into the clinic and as I have done many times befor in an instant I memorized the letter chart and waited for the Doc. to come in and do her thing.  Remember you must adapt and if you want something you must pursue it by any means necesary.  Test results.?????  20/20 out of the cancer eye and 20/25 out of the stroke eye.  Not bad for a "blind man" is it......................................  What you though I was going to let something like that prevent me from doing the Ironman.  Yeah right.....................................

I tested my bike yesterday and except for my fron wheel everything is working perfectly.  I had problems pacing that is for sure as I did about 22-23 MPH average on a 12 mile run yesterday.  That is bad because that is far from my race pace.  I need to control my pace or I will for sure blow up.  My gearing was working to perfection I just kept on going and did not feel comfortable any slower, but that has to change come race day .  So I will practice again tomorrow focusing strictly on maintaining race pace at 17-19 MPH.  I have a problem with my front tire which is loosing air pressure.  The tire is brand new and never ridden so I am hoping it is just the valve.  I tried to find just in case a similar tire here but no chance so maybe plan B will have to be implemented but I hope not.  It is cooler here so I can run higher pressures that will help me along the way.  It is a serious problem at the moment but I will get it fixed in time and most important I will regain trust in my bike again which at the moment I do not have.  I need to be sure I can trust my equipment to perform during the race I am relying on that so I has to happen.  I will fix it no problem.

Today a light swim and a route check on the bike rout.  Today I will for the first time have a look at the feared Richters Pass and Yelow Lake hills.  It really don't matter I am planning on conquering both.

Lats night I was recognized at the Team Newton dinner party.  Mr Jerry Lee had some words for the team regarding me that just brought out the best in me.  Here is a global running shoe company talking about me center stage.  I am not only humbuled but I am very satisfied.  I did my part and I would do it again and again and again.  However a little bit of bad news.  I was planning in crossing the finish line with the pros you know 8-9 hours :):):):):).  However Jerry Lee cofounder of Newton Running invited me last night to cross the finish line with him at around 16 hours 45 seconds.  Jerry Lee a cancer survivor like myself asked me to do that?   Absolutely YES!!!!!!!!  We will hopefully cross together and celebrate forever no question.

I saw Winter yesterday.  Yes, Winter the little 13 year old girl who inspired me to do this along with Jochi.  We sat to talk about her next events and that type of stuff but nothing really important.  As we did that I could just look at her and see what it is that she will get acomplished in life and the help she would bring to cancer victims.  I had little words as I got emotional.  I stood up hugged her, kissed her and told her how much I loved her.  She probably has no idea what se has done for me but I know some day she will realize just how inocent daring me to do an Ironman really was.  I is a priviledge to be able to call that little girl, my friend.

So, light swim today in the lake and off to fix my front wheel.  Trust me folks this one will be memorable.
I am ready!!!!

No time to proof read or correct so sorry for the mis spelled words!!!!!

August 22, 2011. 2.4 swim, 112 miles on the bike, 26.2 miles running, Braging rights for life!!!!!!

It was now late October and if I can recreate the dates aplied to today, Friday was my last chemo injection!!!!!  At this point I was done with the treatment but not yet finished.  1 weeks left.  My life was horrible by now I am so deteriorated even as chemo stoped 3 days ago I can't stop throwing up.  I can't hold anything.  By now I can' stand the taste of Orabge Crush and I am jus miserable.  7 days after, Friday, I will go into the hospital with a fever and will remain there for 9 days.  My blood counts will almost dispear and I would eventually have dificulty moving from my bed to the chair.  Dr. B had gone on a very rare vacation and left another Dr. incharge.  But Dr. B was always Dr.B.  As the Dr. explained to me what was happening I told him I felt like I was dying.  He told me if it was under any other circumstance he would tranfuse me but he also said Dr. B explained to him that I went 13 months with out a single transfution and gave orders to only tranfuse me as a last resort.  I will never forget his words....."you just endured your last chemo, ever, you need to recuperate on your own, and you have to fight.  In a couple of days you will start to get better on your own."  OK........  This sucks but it was also very true.  So, it was a waiting game only won by time.  So I started to fight.  It was not particularly hard, it was all based on the light at the end of the tunnel which by now I could see.  They are not going to make me any sicker so I just need to fight this off and I can only get better.  I needed help to go to the bathroom, I could not eat, and I was in constant pain in my joints.  I was basically lifeless except my mind worked and was at war.  This went on for 3 days until by day 4 I started feeling better.  By day 9 I was out of the hospital and guess what I was doing.  Yep......Going home PERMANENTLY and Cancer FREE.  Soon after, I had hair again and by the day, I was getting stronger as I tried to start my life back again.  With in 2 months I was "normal" again at least phisically and only the scar in my eye was visible. However upon time I learned how truly marked I was by what happened to me.  It was not that evident and it took I would say about 19 years to figure evrything out.  But hey, I guess the important part is figuring it out regardless of time.  I became content with many things and I started questioning most other things, like fitness to be exact.  I mean when I got my cancer I was fit as a rock.  Food, well I have always eaten a lot of crapy food but in the end I would not eat anything fat free, or cholesterol free, or diet nothing.  I just have this belief thoose things cause cancer.  But then again I smoked until 4 years ago.  That was smart, really smart.  Don't eat and whole wheat bread couse it would give you cancer, instead smoke a pack of Malboro Lights each day.  Frankly I should have goten the stuipid award........yearly.  In the end it just goes to prove how wrong I was and how much of an idiot I became.  It was all a hidding place just something to say or someone to blame.  Even as I accepted my miracle and my second chance at life I made every effert to destry it as much as I could, but eventually I changed.  They say time changes everythings and heals all wounds.  It is true.

I needed a reason, a purpose and most importantly a goal.  I found it in my son's passion, God placed it right in my face last year in Orlando when I met Winter, and then he backed it up with a great training coach and a super training group.  At this point I am right there 1 week form the big event. 1 weeks until it is all over or maybee until it all begins.  I always said I needed to heal and to sort things out.  Get my anger out and feel the burn again.  All that has been acomplished in so many ways.  But then again, it is not a free a ride.  See. you can lie to yourself but you can not lie to him.  Yes to him.  The one always by my side.  The one who protects me and the one that guides me thru.  The one that teaches me, and the one that heals me.  He expects nothing in return , but demands perfection and even as you can't see him you can always feel his precence and his power.  Yes, I am talking about God.  My mentor and companion everywhere I go.  What, you though all that has happened to me was just bad luck.  No.  No way.  He tested me, he wanted to know how comited I was to changing and accepting what he KNOWS is best, even if that is not what I expect or like.  He will not give me a free ticket, not a chance, he was the first to say.  "Ironman, Ok lets just see how much you really want to change, lets just see how much you really want to make a diffrence, lets just see how much you are willing to endure to serve my name because this is not a test, it is my plan for you, and your purpose within the delicate balance of life".

So, here we are 1 week away.  Guess what?  He is never wrong!!!!!  With in a year, I have transformed my body from, well, no need to go there, to something that resembles normality, my kids have understood and practice daily their willignes to help people in need, they understand the fragile balance of life and how it can end in a heart beat, I could die today and my kids would be ok, for sure, because of their willigness to help others they have earned them the respect and love of many, as a family we have memories that will last a life time, as a father I have the admiration of my kids, as a husband I am the luckiest man in the world, as a son, my mother will see me go from the hospital to the finish line, as a survivor.   I have done my share by raising awareness and by collecting money to kill cancer, and as for me, I have been around very amazing and loving people that have witness how I have changed.  I have heeled my sorrow and my anger, but most important I look to the future and fall in love with life evryday.  They all told me the Ironman was about the training and it was very true.  The finish line is the goal but if you think God was going to place his bet on a line somewhere in Canada you were as wrong as I was.  He already won his event and showed me that although the finish line is my celebration I have already reached it in my heart and I am a better man for it.

So.......Ironman Canada.  I am scared shitless.............  140.6 miles is a long way with out a car.  You are always scared of the unknown and maybe that is what I am going thru.  Don't get me wrong when that cannon goes off I will be race ready and will go for as long as I can.  I will turn my fears into power and determination.  Everything has been done.  I have trained and I am now healing my feet and getting a few final details covered.  We practiced race pace yesterday on the bike and it went well.  I stayed diciplined to my speed and my nutrition which still needs a little discussion but that is why we practice.  I have held the Ironman group (guys that have done an Ironman or elite guys that are training for their first) during practice 60 miles.  I rode with them, obviously strugling at times but yet it was a confidence booster.  Come race day, my race pace will be a lot slower but I will hopefully get there by midnight.  I get such a belonging feeling from thoose guys.  I mean their time is your time as you have seen them work hard in every training session and you just become part of that event's brotherhood where you just want evryone to do well.

Shit happens, all the time.  What will happen race day I have no clue.  I will tell you this.  It has been a true priviledge to train with the people I train and to be involved with a charity and a team like Atheletes for a Cure, Team Newton and Team Winter.  I have no clue what will transpire on Sunday August 28th but I will go for as long as my body will allow me to go and I will make every effort to finish the race as I have so many times promised I will.  However, I am ready to accept any dispointing circumstance with honor and joy.  I have already won in so many ways.

I have done my part for others, so now its time to do it for me and the team that has supported me thru all this time.  So "who do you race for?"  Given I am running for the Prostate Cancer Foundation, I have already done my part.  So.... Who, why?  You know when I was diagnosed with Cancer many people called to give encourouging words of well being and wisdom.  You cherish and apreciate all of them but there are only ones you always remember.  Those are the ones that say "fight and don't give up, you will beat this".  I am dedicating my race to a group.  Yes, to the Coach K Endurance Group.  Let me set it clear, I have recieved support from so many people that it would just be unfair to single out any individual to all I will be for the rest of my life gratefull.  However my training partners, those close to me and my coach I need to recognize by themselves because what they have done for me is nothing close of amazing.  So I will only adreess the coach K group and then a few others. OK...........Ok.

Coach K = My shadow.  You did the unthinkable that was turning me from what I was to what I am.  You got it from day one, understood and participitaed in my reasons.  Coach you transformed me to what I see in the mirror today.  Thank you

Jose Nazar=  Nothing will ever please me more than to see you cross that line in the time we both know you can do.  Man I still remember you from a year ago and I am so glad to have been by your side all the way.  You have been one of the support pilars for this team and for me personally.  Thank you my friend and we will for certain continue on after the ironman.

Carlos Maldonado =  President of the discipline committe.  Getting the support and confidence from an athlete like yourself  goes a very long way.  Longer than you would ever know.  I look up to you and maybee some day I can come close to acomplishing what you for sure will at Ironman Canada.  Goodspeed to you my friend.

You know we all have our countrymen pride and convictions.  These three is what will be representeing the speed our Island is presenting this year at Ironman Canada.  These guy are the elites.  Go Puerto Rico!!!!

Pepe=  President of the hate comitte.  From day 1 you never doubted me and always confirmed that I would do this.  Trust me hearing this from and acomplished Ironman means a lot.  Thank You

Raulito=  I see your confidence and I see your experience in long events and I look at what I can acomplish.  You are true gentleman and a spiritual leader at least for me.  You take God on your bike as I do too and that creats a bond that can not be broken.  The best for you my friend.

Omar=  Always there to train and always there to help.  You are a special human being and I an honored to be your friend and training partner.

Junito=  We have fun and your approach is more like mine (except for the nutrition) which is to have fun doing what we are doing and involving our families.  I hope youre kids pick it up and soon become part of the team.  Thank you my friend.

To the rest of the team and so called "rookies"=  You are all amazing people.  I never imagined I would enjoy so much just watching you guys develop, train and get better.  You have all supported in many ways and you will always remain my teammates.  Team Jochi will continue to support you even as my event is completed.  Thank you.

Nestor=  WOW!!!!!  Just when you think life is one way you meet a guy like this.  You are one of my most important mentors in this sport, you have done it all for me both personally and in the sport.  We both believe in the same things and we bothe agree why we do these things.  I want to remain involved with your friendship after the event and I want to one day imitate evrything that you actually stand for.  It is people like you I want to be sourrounded by.  Thank you from the botttom of my heart.

Kiki= When you are diagnosed with cancer at 21 you think the world crumbles before your very eyes.  It is only when someone takes your hand and says I won't leave you and I am here every step of the way that you realize that fighting is a true option.  20 years ago Julissa did just that and has remained by my side evr since.  Under diffrent circumstances obviously but following the same principle, 4 weeks ago I fell hard.  Really hard.  Julissa as always did what she has always done and was ready to fight and carry me thru except there was one part she could not help me with.  That was the training.  So along you came, none of your business, not your problem, not your event.  But you steped up without hesitation and picked me up from the ground.  You did not care, you did not think about it you just believed in me the same way I did and helped me thru the worst of times.  You gave me what I lacked.  You became my eyes.  How do you repay something like that?  How do you honor someone like that?  I will for the rest of my life try to figure a way.  That is a promise.  I will never forget what you have done and I will foreever be in your debt for your kindness, love and sacrifice.  Although not fisically you will be by my side all 140.6 miles and you will see me cross the finish line hand in hand.  Kiki Thank you!!!!!

Others:

Mary Joe and Jaime=  You never say no to anything you are just always ready for others it is unbelievable.  Because of the confidence i got from you in the run walk system I will hopefully finish the Ironman marathon.  Thank you so much.

Alexandra=  My partner.  You have always been there to inspire confidence you never let me off the hook with the nutrition and you always said "you can".  I will never forget that.  Thank You

Luiso, Mendi, Tato, Kermit, Carola= The elite of the elite.  When someone like one of you says to you, "you can do it" you start to believe that you can.  With out that it is imposible to get where I am.  Thank You.

Last but not least,

Jay=  One year ago you told me to write this blog and document my training.  I followed your advise not knowing what will come out.  What has happened is nothing short of amazing.  The therapy of writting this blog and the healing it has provided while I share my story and my training is nothing short of spectacular.  Your advice has been life changing and I am especially glad that advise came form a friend I have known my whole life.  Thank you my friend!!!!!

AND so this is it.  Everything has been done and everything is ready, no more philosophy it is time to go for it.  Orders are in and it is war time.  2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, 26.2 miles running, BRAGGING RIGHTS FOR LIFE!!!!!!!     Ajuaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

August 5, 2011 Happy Birthday!!! You son of a bitch!!!!!

As I am doing today, 20 years ago I was getting ready for a sporting competition in Miami Fla.  The next 3 weeks after that would change my life for ever as 20 years ago in August I would have a growing tumor in my right eye which will later be diagnosed as a Rabdomiosarcoma of the orbit.  CANCER.  Back then it was a good thing I was already trained by the Military and had learned to perfection the art of turning your fear into power and determination along with a self sense of preserving the most precious thing in the world.  LIFE.  If not maybe I would not be talking to you today.

So.......  20 years later I am here and ready for a big challenge.  Actually huge.  I must tell you that at this point I am in full combat mode and sense of life preservation along with determination.  I have indeed in the past weeks converted my grater fears into the power of determination. 

I will at the end of the event talk in detail about what it is that has transpired in the past weeks.  However I will let you all know this.  I suffered a stroke last Tuesday........  As a consequence it damaged what was my good eye rendering me "legally blind".............................  As I said, I will answer all you questions and thoughts after the event but I will say that the word Cancer has been mentioned quite repeatedly in the past few days.  I want you all to get something very clearly.  In previous posts I said that Cancer was something you knew you had.  It is a physical tumor but it is also a feeling you get.  Friends I am telling you right now. I DO NOT HAVE CANCER.  Period!!!!!!

Although "legally blind", term I am trying to figure out myself the Ironman is a go.  I have been given no limitations as to my training or the event itself.  But having said that I think you all know by now that even if there were limitations I was going on with this, regardless.

I want you all  to know that it took less than a minute to have the support of my teammates for which I am humbled and honored.  Less than a minute after, I had a running partner, a cycling partner but most of all the willingness of several individuals who have trained their asses off to get personal records or times of 12 hours or less in the Ironman, to leave all that behind and serve as my eyes for the event to end up with a time of almost 17 hours.  Many things have touched my heart in my life but few like that.  I now have a running partner, Kiki who has remained by my side ever since my stroke during training.  We have talked about how you turn fear and panic into instinct and how when that happens heroic things take place.  She is practical just as I am so we do our best to train to coach K standard but guess what.  We have more fun than what we really train and that is just perfect for me at this point.  Actually we only have 3 weeks to do what we know would be a memorable thing in the eyes of every Ironman in the Island.  Getting off the bike and coming back home on a PISA Y CORRE.  I believe that is the message I need to pass right now to my team mates.  No, not to come back on a pisa y corre.  The Ironman is an individual sport of great and spectacular accomplishments.  You have all trained very hard and you are all ready to make your dream come true.  Whatever I can or cannot see, will not be a determining factor in weather I finish or not.  However my biggest satisfaction will only be accomplished by being part of your goals being won in your hearts and your souls.  Trust me, in my heart I will make 10 hours or 12 hours, as I will be swimming, riding and running with you guys as we have done for almost a year in practice.  Nothing changes, nothing.  We all train, you finish, and eventually I arrive to wherever we are going.  Nothing changes come event day.

You do not sit idle while life takes a swing.  You better get up and start swinging your self or you will die miserable and alone.  You do not sit down waiting for a doctor to tell you how screwed up you are or when it will all be over.  But most importantly, you NEVER, EVER, let someone tell you what you are capable or not of accomplishing.  I do in fact care about all the things in your minds right now, family, work, money, friendships, kids, etc.  The difference is, I am sure I can overcome any obstacle that is placed in front of me because I have all the love in the world from my family and friends, all the straight in the world because I believe in myself, and all the passion it takes to live life like there is no tomorrow........  And if that does not work, I know how to Blow it up!!!!!

To my training partners and Ironman Partners.  You have been part of something very special in my life and I will forever remember all of you especially the crew for Ironman Canada and Kentuky.  Kiki, in a short time you have become very special to me, thank you.  Thanks to GOD I will not need your eyes but will forever cherish, remember and love your company.  Come race day I will be looking for you as I always do and will see you even if you are not there.  Thank you!!!

Ohhhhh no.  No sir!!!!  I am not done!!!!  Not yet!!!!

To you, my most hated old friend, Cancer.  I must say thank you.  Yes, thank you.  You know I was wondering how I was going to get thru the hard parts of the Ironman since my life has changed so much.  As I have said, I am not angry anymore.  However, you need to know that when it comes to you, I am not that cured either!!!!!!  So ....... you have decided to pretend to show your ugly face again.  Wrong deal, I already killed you once but this time if you decide to show up I promise on my fathers grave that I will fuck you up real nice!!!!  Again!!!.  You need to know that my friends and me have put some money on your head so if I were you, I would buckle up caue it is going to be a rough ride............  By the way, HAPPY 20th  BIRTHDAY YOU SON A BITCH!!!!!!!  I am still here.

July 14, 2011. Your day is soon to arrive!

Well friends it is only 6 weeks until Ironman Canada.  So, where am I?  Well, I feel extremely good.  I've had some problems with my left foot but we have figured out that my running shoes were the ones doing the damage.  Those were changed and I had my first run on the mew pair just this morning.  I must tell you, for me, I was fast and very comfortable.  I will by no means brag about my abilities as they are what I consider far off from a seasoned athlete but I must say I no longer have the performance of a heavy guy which is an accomplishment by itself.  I tackled today a hilly course I would have avoided with a passion 6 months ago but today I was very comfortable doing it uphill and downhill.  My callaway running is working perfectly and this Saturday I go for the big 20 miles on the hills of Jajome in Cayey.  Last time I ran there I loved it and had a great run breaking my personal record for the half marathon by more than 1/2 hour.  That is a lot.  At this point I am no longer afraid of workouts.  I just go and period.  Last Saturday I climbed 5,800 vertical feet over 60 miles before I truly for the first time blew up.  I had to stop and get on the support car.  It was good because it will help me avoid it during the event but in the end I missed my mark by 30 miles.  I must be careful come race day and I must have my pacing right or I will suffer dearly.

So what is the plan at this point?  Simple as always.......  I am still shooting for a 9 hour off the bike time which will leave me 8 hours for the marathon.  My plan is to finish the half marathon running and then continue on a 1 minute run 1 minute walk for at least 10 more miles.  Walking the rest.  I must confess that plan is ambitious but we will see.  I think everyone that is doing this for the first time must feel the same way.  How?  Scared!!!  I question if I have the distance, if I did my training right, etc.  In the end it is not like I have hours to spare because at my best effort still the 17 hour cut off will be very close.

Everything is under rehearsal and scrutiny at this point.  Every component of my bike is under evaluation to make sure race day I have the right equipment, every aspect of my nutrition and fluid intake is being tested and all possibilities to protect my feet are being studied.  I must say I have some work to do but I am working on it.  Specially on the nutrition.  I changed the nutrition to more gels and less of the bottles.  There has definitely been an improvement and I feel much better.  However on both long rides with the new nutrition I have not taken about 1,000 calories each.  Bad, bad, bad.  I certainly need more "fuel" and I need to discipline myself as not to miss any nutrition while on the bike.  So Sunday is yet another rehearsal on the bike.

It's close it is just so very close I can taste it.  It will indeed be a struggle but I am so ready it is not funny.  3 more weeks of hard training and then we start our tapper phase as we peek and set on our final leg to the Ironman.

In other matters I have collected all but $800.00 of my contribution to athletes for a cure.  Today I have a fund raiser to collect hopefully the rest of the money.  I want you all to know and understand that in this fight there are no individual winners.  True, I am a winner in all of this because of my personal experience and because of what my training has provided me in terms of character, peace of mind and health.  However collectively I think we all have achieved the goal of contributing to the cause of helping to one day find the cure for cancer being prostate or any other form or shape of the decease.  6 weeks to go and I can tell you that I am at peace.  I am at peace with what happened to me and at peace of how I have lived a life after surviving cancer.  I am by no means ready to die yet as one bad thing about the Ironman is that it has helped me rediscover that being alive is the most wonderful thing there is and that you need to live life like there is no tomorrow.  Every day.  However I have healed my wounds and became a better person in the process, I have fallen in love even deeper with my family, my kids and life it self.  Which in my case most of my family is bracing up for new adventures after they read this.  They must be going Oh my God!!!!  But seriously, I am in debt with a lot of people that have supported me during this journey and I will for ever be grateful.  As for Cancer, despite being at peace and healed I still despise it with all my heart.  Then, I was not strong enough to fight the bigger picture but now I am and so I will devote my remaining days fighting to extinguish its miserable existence.  Weather thru sports or my kids, it does not matter but the fact remains I want to be involved and I intend to do just that.

Here is to cancer.  "I am yet another disappointment for you.  20 years ago you tried to kill me, but failed in your attempt.  You are no small enemy but still you are not invincible and I am living proof of it.  I am going to celebrate your 20 year invasion by doing something truly extraordinary, to prove you one more time that you are not invincible.  There is always a chance I will fail, and I am ready to accept that, because at this point there is no failure as I already won.  Cancer, even before I get to the starting line I have already won.  The reason for this was not to finish a race, it was to hire someone smart enough to kill you.  Yes my friend to kill you.  At this point I have done that with the help of all my friends and family.  So there is a price on your head and I am very proud to be part of the payers of that sweet bounty.  Come the 28th of August, I am just going to celebrate having killed you once already.  I just have 140.6 miles to pick a place for the celebration.  Maybe it is at mile 140.6 or maybe it is at mile 120, or maybe we move it to mile 2, who knows.  I will just leave you thinking about it because after all, you are not invited.  So, my friend, buckle up because you are in for a rough ride!!!!"  Your day is soon to arrive.

Alberto

June 26,2011 You fall down.....We get up and keep fighting!!!!!

It was about August or September 1992.  By then I was about 10 months into treatment with chemotherapy and radiation.  I have just finished my radiation treatment and was starting to heal from the radiation burn.  It was that time again.  Yep...... time for more chemo.  It was like walking on death row.....for the second time.  It was like they tortured you for 10 months only to let you rest and recover so they can torture you a little more.  By this time I've had a couple of trips back home and even my hair was growing back.  I've had about 3 weeks off treatment and I was starting to feel like myself again. So......There was no way I was going to go into that clinic again!!!!!!PERIOD.  For 10 months I pushed and I endured all the pain and mischief.....no more.  After all my Scans said my tumor had disappeared long time ago so what was the use of more suffering?

I was hard on my mom too.  I woke up that day decided I was ending it with Dr. B.  I was DONE.  Physically I was fine but emotionally I was done.  Same as my last post.  See every struggle has its ups and downs.  Managing all aspects of your life plus the training and the Ironman itself is as I am finding out very tough.  My decision was based on economics.  It was pretty simple actually, either I compete or Jochi competes but it was hard to do them both especially since I was waiting on Jochi's sponsors for more than 6 months now.  I was devastated but I was also very peacefull.  I knew in my heart I was not quiting I was just postponing, and my reason was meritory.  My son's future!!  I had no problem with that.

That day I walked into the clinic and as every day I signed up at the reception.  Since everyone knew me by then, they gave me immediate access to "my office".  For those new reading My Office was a reclining chair that sat on the corner of the room by a window.  It was the chair I would sit every day to take my chemo.  It had more space than the others and was pretty much alone in the corner which was what I wanted.  Since it was out of the way my mom could also be there all the time and we had space for my other needs.  It was just my spot.  Everyone knew about it and the nurses actually did not allow any other patient to sit there.  I never waited in the waiting room but I never asked to be jumped either, I would just walk in and tell the nurses I would be in "my office".  They would come and do their thing when it was my turn.  However not that day.  I demanded to speak to Dr. B.  So I sat on the waiting room as I was on an obvious no talking situation with my mom who was very nervous.  I finally got in and sat in front of Dr. B.  "Dr. B I have decided that I do not want anymore chemo.  I feel that I am cured so please give a release to sign so I can go home".  He sat there for a moment.  I was ready for the fight, I mean I had rehearsed every possible argument he had and I was determined as ever to prevail on my conviction.  Trust me when I get in that mode it is almost impossible to change my mind.  Dr. B calmly as ever said, "Well Alberto I am sorry to hear that after all you have gone thru.  You have done very well but I can not force you to take the chemo".  It still amazes me to this day how much doubt those words planted on my mind.  So I asked " What do you think will happen if I stop now? "The tumor is gone, right?"  "What are the odds".  20 years later I still admire how that very moment Dr. B. instantaneously stooped being my Dr. and became my friend.  20 Years later I understand that as a Dr. he would have never said what he said with such certainty, but as a friend he had all the power in the world to make me go on.  What did he say, "most likely your tumor will grow back and you will die because it would be immune to the treatment we just gave you".  I was back in "my office" two minutes later asking to be jumped in line, ready for my chemo.

After my announcement I got a lot of comprehension and support from my team mates my coach and most certainly my family.  I was devastated.  However I continued to search for cheaper options and found hotels and transportation for 1/2 the original cost.  Better yet that very same day Jochi's sponsorship letter was in the mail as Julissa picked it up and all of the sudden Ironman Canada was a reality again.

It was certainly a hard blow but I was able to shake it off which was a blessing.  It was history repeating it self and life balancing itself out.  Life experience put me thru that dark moment and tough me once again that cancer is bad but it will also teach you along the way.  If you can fight to survive.

What happened June 6th changed me.  It made me think even deeper at my experience and kind of kicked me to get my ass in gear.  Was my message complete?  Did I get across?  Did I change anything?  Why do I pretend to accomplish something by the mere fact or accomplishment of getting passed a finish line?  I mean I have trained for 10 months and 2 to go.  Why does my message need to wait to the finish line?  Why not now, why not accomplish something today and celebrate on August 28th?  Why not???

I said from the start that this would change my life.  So here is proof.  I am placing 3 pictures in this post.  1 of those pictures has never been seen by anyone except my immediate family and my coach.  For those of you who need to ask the question the answer is, yes.  That is me in all three and yes that is me while undergoing chemotherapy treatment for a Rabdomiosarcoma of the right orbit.  Or in simpler words CANCER.  The other two pictures are of me before getting sick and a today picture while training for the Ironman.  When I look at these I see three very special times in my life.  All defined by the same feeling, being alive!!!!!!!!

My friends, I am training as hard as I can for Ironman Canada.  I will under my own power  finish this race and give cancer a little kick in the nuts.  Winter is calling her new Bike a "Cancer Chasing Machine", my bike has her signature on it, and I have her friendship and love in my heart, that makes us a team.  So here we come with all our determination passion and power.  Nothing can put a stop to what is coming.  Winter is here to lead and I am here to make sure that if we fall..........We Get Up and Keep Fighting!!!!!!!!

June 6 2011. Unfortunately it is over!!!

I am in tears as I have to write this.  After all I have put my heart into into this adventure.  It comes a time when you have cancer where you realize you will never be the same.  No matter how well you feel or how good your life is there is always that doubt in your mind as if it is ever going to come back.  20 years ago Dr. B gave me a choice.  It was a hard choice but it was an easy decision.  He said "You can stay here with me and get cured, or you can leave but you will certainly die from this cancer".  Again, a hard choice but an easy decision.

Frankly it is the biggest disappointment I have felt in my life.  I am not disappointed for myself, I feel like I have done my training and my part but I can not get around the disappointment of not being able to race for those people that need me to.  The people with cancer and all those that will get it long after the race is over.  I have never quited anything in my life but maybe that is just another teaching I must learn.  Sometimes it is necessary to quit in order to achieve.

I can tell you that I am not hurt physically and thank God I am in perfect health and my family support is as strong as ever.  I have to make a choice and my choice I assure all of you that has no other option.  Trust me I have looked at all the options.

I am truly heart broken, sad and questioning "why" all over again.  But when I started this I said I had to leave my anger behind and face a new life.  I am not angry any more I am deeply disappointed and very, very sad.  I will talk to my kids and will try to explain to them I am not quiting but maybe postponing.  Cancer did not beat me back then and will not beat me this time either.  I just need to fight another day.

I never questioned Cancer and I wont question this either.  As I did 20 years ago I will accept what I need to do and move on as I did back then.

As heartbroken, disappointed and sad as I may be, I have no other choice but to withdraw from Ironman Canada.

I truly thank all of you for following this adventure and I hope I can indeed resume my quest to make a difference in the life of someone that needs a second chance like mine.

My love to all

Alberto

June 1st 2011 Ready......... Not yet

I finally got my computer back yesterday so I can now start writing again.  Well folks it is June 1st 2011, this day was supposed to be important.  Why?  When I first started I told Coach K that I wanted to be ready for the Ironman by June 1st so we had time in case we needed to twitch a couple of things here and there.  Well I am certainly not there yet.  But it is not because of the training or Coach K or me.  It just does not work that way.  I just did not know that back in August 2010.  My training needs to peak right before the event not 3 months before.  That is how it works.  For me that makes me nervous but to be honest after two half Ironmans especially the second one which I was confident the whole time, I can understand how it works.  So where exactly am I?  Well that has an answer too.  I would say I am 3/4 of the way there.  I could probably finish a 3/4 Ironman at this point and could with a BIG MAYBE finish a full Ironman followed by a prolonged visit to the hospital and a mental facility afterwards.  I am not there yet.

I continue my training as evryday more and more discipline is requiered.  As the training times become longer I need to remain focused.  By now my life revolves around the event.  I have made it a point of having my training completed by 7:30AM so I can be faithfull to my work and balance things out.  Social events are out and most of the time is spent with my family or sleeping and recovering.  I've come to understand how much support it is needed from the family and frankly I have come to apreciate the so called "bitching and nagging" wives of the Ironman.  This is hard on familly, no question about it.   When we adopted Jochi and Gabi someone gave us a very true advise.  You are not the only ones adopting, the whole family is!!!!  Very true.  So is the Ironman.  Today I disagree that this is an individual sport, the Ironman is a family sport because without their support there is no way you can get there.  So.........I once wrote to the significant others about supporting us, and today it is our turn.  Our families give us the time away from our minds and our precence so we can do this, so in turn lets make sure we make it count on the turn side.

So far I am only battling a swollen tendon on my left foot.  I am also still working on that Orlando blister but in all I am good.  I am getting stronger and in better shape but reality is slowly breaking in.  I have modified my run and will use the 12 weeks remaining to perfect my run and my plan which includes probably walking the second half of the marathon and a combination of running walking in the first half.  My time expectation remains the same.  16 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds.  Not a second more.  I feel almost ready for the swim but I still need lots of miles on the bike and as you all know all the miles in the world will never get me ready to run a full marathon after all that. 


My weight is steady at 220 which is very bad.  I must say I am now addicted to chocolate cupcakes which I started using on the bike rides to get some sugar going.  They are begining to be a problem.  A 4 a day problem.  I must admit.  I am seriously stuck on that weight and as the training volume continues to increase it becomes more difficult to control my appetite.  I am not taking any pills or medication and frankly I dont want to but I am getting desperate.  Come next monday I have made a commitment to get off the cupcakes and get some structured help to loose the 40 pounds I need to loose before August 28th.  We will see what happens.

When you are on cancer treatment there is a turning point.  It is the point where you no longer see the bad but start looking forward to the future.  You can see the day where no more chemo or meddles and that you will actually make it out alive.  No more feeling funky and no more toilet hugging.  You begin to feel like yourself again and know in your heart that you will be OK.  20 years later and in a totally different setting I feel exactly the same as I did 3 months before I finished my treatment.  Actually as I have said, it will be exactly the same.  How?  Here is a story for you.  For 12 months I never got a blood transfusion which in those days was very good considering the diseases you could get from blood transfusions.  I took my last chemo treatment and it was truly devastating.  My blood counts were close to 0 across the board.  I could not even go to the bathroom under my own power.  When  Dr. B walked in he told me he knew how I felt but he was not about to give me a blood transfusion on my last treatment.  He told me to hang on and suck it up and once I started to feel better I would have been cured of cancer and would be a new man.  That is exactly how it went on and that is how the Ironman will go.  I am sure the race will take all of my strength and will to finish but when I do I would be a new man.  So you see history does repeat it self in many ways.  My reasons are still the same, however I am now a much different person than what I was 9 months ago.  I still despise the disease but I don't sit around anymore just watching how an apparent indestructible disease attacks with out mercy.  Today I can do something about it by racing and collecting money for research and to find a cure.  I should have done it long ago but as the saying goes it is never to late.  I am indeed racing for someone else, I am racing for someone who might just get the cure just in time to survive.  Maybe I will succeed and maybe I will fail, but in the end I tried and no one will ever take that away from me or the cause.  Here is to cancer.........I hate you and despise you, you have hurt many people but we are gaining ground against you and when we do find a way to kill you we will do it like a holocaust.  I might be insignificant on the overall picture but if it wasn't for me the picture would be smaller.  So look around you SOB because once I finish those 140.6 miles we would all be that much closer and you would be that much farther.

May 18 2011 Ironman Florida 70.3

Well friends I am indeed a 2 time Ironman 70.3 finisher.  How about that.  I learned a vaulable lesson this time around.  What is that.........  you can not plan for everything.  This time my plan was even simpler just go hard and period.  This time I was not sick and I felt really strong.  I have a bad tendon in my left foot so the day before the race we made sort of a decision.  See I already know my time on the run. The worse case scenario is to walk the distance and I can do that in 3:28.  I did it in San Juan.  SO no need to push it and risk a more serious injury before Canada.  SO I decided that I would do the swim and the bike and that was it. 

The swim was horrible.  Oh my God!!!!!  Fresh water is definately not the same.  You do not float you sink.  My main problem was fogging goggles which bothered me the whole trajectory.  I swallowed a lot of water tring to clean them up.  This would later be a factor.  I swam 1.2 miles in 45:30.  Slow for me but it was a hard swim so I will take it. 

Transition run,,,,, no problem this time!!!!

My plan was to go hard on the bike, and I did.  Actually in the bigining I was a bit too excited but I was passing a lot of people and I felt great.  When things settled in I realized two mayor things on the course.  #1 florida is not flat.  Bull shit, we were ridding 4 and 5 mile false plains going up.  #2 the wind, we were facing 10-15 MPH winds right in our faces in an open 8 lane highway.  Wow it was brutal.  However I settled into my pace until by mile 30 I started to feel wierd.  Yep, remenber all that water I swallowed in the swim.  Well lets just say it was not potable water.  I held as much as I could but by mile 45 a pit stop was eminent.  I stoped and had an 11 minute bathroom emergency.  Afterwards I was fine and kept on riding to a very good time cosidering the conditions and the long pit stop.

As I pull in coach K askes how I felt to what I answered I was really good.  He asked if I was going to run and I told him that my foot was hurting a bit as I took off my biking shoe.  We took a minute to talk and we decided to do a brick session around the run courese which was a 3 loop course.  He told me to do a 1 loop brick and that was it.  So I went on my run.  I felt really good.  No pain no aches nothing.  So off I went.  As it turns out I did 4.5 miles in 1 hour which for me off a 56 mile bike is spectacular.  So it was obvious,,,,,,,,,I am not stoping.  So I wento on.  By mile 7 my problems started.  My tendon started to hurt as I ran but not when I walked.  So I started walking more and running at a fast pace but short distances.  At this point I was doing probably 1 minute more per mile which was OK.  However by mile 9 guess what...................yep,  blister.  I blister my left foot.  The good thing is I now have a perfect foot and an injured, blistered foot.  People finish Ironmans on one foot all the time.  I kept going but this time I was taking all measures not to let that blistar fill up and expand.  It worked.  As I arrived for my third loop I though for a moment, the blister is already there so 3 more miles will no do a diffrence.  The tendon is fine so just keep going.  I did set a boundary this time.  If at any time that blister filled up with water I would stop and call it quits.  Canada was more important.  At the end I was able to walk the rest of the way and even run a little bit to the finish line, finishing in great fisical shape.  The blister was small and it was OK. 

In the end I achieved my goal.  I might have a few excuses for not doing better but I learned that every event will have its eventuality. So in that spirit I have no excuses I did my best and my best is 7:43:00.  I acomplished my goal of under 8 hours and I am very happy with that.  I also learned that I better find a way to keep my feet in the game or I will not finish at canada.  A blister at mile 9 in an Ironman is a no finishing situation so I better get some help and fast.  I will incorporate that into my trainign so I will keep you posted.

2 time Ironman 70.3 finisher.  Not bad for hte chubby guy hughhghghghggh!!!!!!

May 5, 2011 Business as usual

Hi folks.  I know you are probably asking yourself what happened that I have not been blogging recently.  To tell you the truth not much has been going on.  Truly after the 70.3 event I felt rejuvinated in a way I have not been in a long long time.  The Ironman just proved that most of what I wrote about is true.  Especially family support.  We saw that with the accident of Marian and how after placing signs on our support truck people react in a diffrent way.  Family support is just too important.

I have to admit that things in other areas are not good.  Not in particular with me but in general things are not going well with in the country.  At one point I seriously considered postponing the Ironman and not do Canada but in the following weeks and with family support I decided to go on. My training is going well although I am taking it a bit easier that the Orlando 70.3 is around the corner.  I won't tapper or peak for that event but I think it will boost my confidence. 

I have made huge progress running and on the bike.  I am quicker all the time and stronger by the week.  How ever I am still concerned about the distance.  I think by now I have discarted running the marathon so I must be quick on the bike so I can comfortably walk the marathon.  I think at best I am hoping to run one mile and walk one mile.  My diet is kind of going but I am maintaining my weight.  Training volume is going to increase exponentialy so I am taking every precaution to stay healthy and not get injured. 

I am really focussed on Orlando right now where my goal is to reduce my transition times and complete the bike course with only one 3-5 minute stop.  As I explained to my friends and others what happend to me at San Juan I realized how much I enjoyed walking the marathon.  Sure I was in pain and hurt but other wise I had a grea time just walking and enjoing the event.  Don't tell my coach that but I plan on enjoying the Orlando running part also.  I will try to run much more but it is really not that important to me.  I want to have fun and maybe walk with no pain on my feet.  Orlando will be to prove myself in the water with a sub 40 minute swim and a sub 3:15 bike ride.  I spent 17 minutes in transition in San Juan and the plan for orlando is less than 8.  I had 4 stops in San Juan, for Orlando the goal is 1 to rest and 2 to refill water.  I will change my nutrittion to only 2 bottles but will carry a third one with water.  I will push the bike, I just will.  That by itself should give me a sub 7:30 time which is what my original plan was.  Maybe I will surprise but we will have to wait.  In the end I will do it again.  I will acomplish an amazing thing one more time.  I won't get another tattoo but I will have competed in the same racing weekend and series as both my kids which will make it special.  I will keep you posted on the final leg of my journey to Canada.  It proves to be an amazing one so buckle up.  All in all it is business as usual!!!!

April 4, 2011 Our Prayers are with Marian Caraballo

My good friend Marian Caraballo was riding yesterday morning as part of her training for Ironman Brazil.  She was run over by a car that immediately fled the scene leaving her literally lying on the road.  As it happens Marian is pretty badly hurt including 2 fractured vertebrates, many stitches and lots of pain and bruising.

Accidents do happen every day and even as an accident provokes many reactions regardless of how unintentional they are, it is a different thing when the attitude towards such an accident is such as wake up your innermost fears, intolerance, and in many cases violence.

To the driver of that Clear colored Ford Expedition I tell you that you are nothing more than a piece of Shit!!  Yes you are and as many people read this, some very diplomatic individuals would kindly agree that maybe this is not the way of expressing frustration.  Maybe they are right but the thing is, that this is my blog and I can basically say whatever I feel like saying.  Again you are nothing but  a piece of SHIT!!! 

It is not what happened my friend, anyone can have an accident it is your attitude towards that human being you let in the middle of the road.  You are most likely hiding something that you know would be damaging to your acceptance of guilt but you know what, we, as a nation need to stop believing in the "Hay Bendito".  What you did should be condemned regardless of how good a person you might think you are.  In your core you are nothing more than a piece of "Shit"

As time passes your excuse will deem less acceptable to the point where you would end up as an arrogant, despicable excuse for a human being, piece of shit that has no regard for human life, family, or even your own self.  I suggest that you turn yourself in and face the consequences of your actions, understand that you did not run over an animal you ran over a human being. 

You know, part of me would like to find you and fuck you up real nice.  But see, maybe that is just it, maybe, just maybe I have changed and it is probably because of doing what I have been doing and the people I have met and influenced me through my training and a new way of life.  Including Marian. 

Maybe Marian and her family are just better people than I am.  I heard her father say today that a simple "I am sorry" would be sufficient for them, it will all be forgotten.  I can only admire them for such a noble position.  I frankly don't share on that noble nature.  See I can only think about what that girl will have to endure to get back on her feet and living normally again.  She will make it.  No question about it, she has a lot of people in her corner and she is an Ironman which no matter how you cut them, they are special people with a particular set of mental toughness that serve well in these situations.

I think that after 48 hours you've had enough time to reconsider.  So I think it is time we stop pleading with you to do the right thing and maybe start thinking that you are such a lousy piece of shit that other considerations should be taken. I guess it is civilized to just hope for you to get caught and face criminal charges.  My friend there is a very remote possibility that I will ever run into you, but I can only tell you that if I ever do you will have a real bad day.

Marian is undergoing surgery right now.  I have no question in my mind that my friend, the one I have always talked to you about,  is there with her directing those doctors.  There is only one thing I can accept and that is that Marian will be her self in a very short while.  She is a fighter, strong mentally and physically, and lets us not forget a 12 hour Ironman finisher.  Let us not forget her thru her healing and let us be as brave as she has been to continue to make a difference and get a little respect while we are cycling on the road.  Let us all put our prayers so that Marian will once again JUMP thru the finish line of an Ironman!!  Marian we are all here for you and we love you!!!!

March 23, 2011 "I WAS WRONG"

On my Feb 22 post I finish by expressing my true belief of why I got cured from cancer.  My faith in something bigger than all of us, someone who creates and manages the fragile balance of life and someone I placed my life in his hands once before.  It is funny I wrote on that post "except this time he has running shoes....."

Yes my friends I am an Ironman 70.3 finisher and yes I am extremely happy with my accomplishment.   However what happened on Saturday will go unnoticed by many but will be understood by a select few.  I told you I would not quit, and guess what, I did not.  It did not even pass my mind, but not because of me but because my faith and my trust in what kept me alive 19 years ago.  My love for life and everything in it and as faith will have it would be tested once again on the streets of old San Juan.

My event was pretty uneventfully although the first 500 meters of the swim were hard to come by as I was still battling a severe cold and I could not breathe easily.  However at about 500 meters I kind of missed a stroke and swallowed a wave of sea water whole.  Yes...... I took on all the water in that lagoon.  As I coughed and sneezed somehow my lungs got clear and in a few seconds I was back on my swim and feeling strong and comfortable.  I was aiming for a 40 minute swim with a worse case scenario of 45 minutes.  I left the water at 41 minutes according to my watch but the official time was 43 minutes.  So, for all intended purposes right on the money.  Who would know that a few seconds after I got out of the water the Ironman would eventually turn into a serious complication for me.  As I ran to T1 I felt how I hurt both of my feet while running thru the rough asphalt road that led to the stadium.  I felt it immediately and knew I still had 68 miles to go so I stoped and starting walking protecting my feet.  I finally arrive at T1 and got on my bike.  My right foot felt OK but my left foot had a little sting to it but no big deal.  I felt good on the bike and handled a couple of issues including a low seat.  I had to stop and fix it but no big deal.  I must say I felt alone on the bike, my mind was clear and I was concentrated on my plan even though I wanted and could  go faster.  But the plan was the plan.  I felt I had no help that morning I did not feel empty, I just felt alone.  They say the Ironman is an individual sport and it is true.

See I had a little talk with God that morning because I was a little mad at him.  As I got to transition to set up I was extremely nervous.  Nervous to the point I could not even screw in my CO2 cartridges which is a very easy thing to do.  It seems he was late that morning because I fumbled thru every step of setting up my transition.  I was extremely nervous and scared.  So.... as I left the stadium for the swim I had a little talk with him.  Our conversation was geared towards him not being there in transition and me being all nervous to the point I could not even think straight.  I mean I claimed my ground after, all this is a team!!!!.  I can tell he was listening, because as I walked over to the swim start I progressively got calmer and more confident to the point where 5 minutes before the start I was ready and in total control.  So as I started swimming I felt my teammate had finally arrived.  It happens, after all I am sure he had a lot of calls that morning at the same place.  No problem we were ready lets go!!!!

So as I am returning for T2 I am feeling solid.  I had hit my time marks of my plan every mile every step of the route.  The only thing was I could not take my last nutrition bottle because it was so warm it tasted like crap.  No problem I was feeling strong and in good shape.  So I get ready for dismount and enter T2.  So I arrive to T2, I take a seat, change my socks and get ready for my run.  2/3 of the Ironman done and I am feeling good.  As I finish T2 I get up and start running towards the exit.  KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!  HUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!!!  As soon I started running I could feel and knew that both my feet were blistered from the run earlier in the morning.  I stop to think for a minute but really nothing to be done but just go.  I kept my cool and started to run in 200-300 mts. intervals which was all I could do.  I did this for the first 3 miles and as I progressed I knew I was in real trouble and getting worse by the step.  I could feel the blisters getting bigger and filling with water and later I discovered with blood.  By the time I reached mile 4 I knew my race was over or at least my planned race.  I was know on survival mode and the only thing I could do was aim for an 8 hour finish.  As I got to the water station I had to make a decision.  A decision that will for a period of time be difficult and highly disappointing.  No more running, if I was going to reach the finish line it would have to be walking the 1/2 marathon.  As I progressed towards the turn around for the second loop my pain and problem progressed exponentially by the step.  As I reach the turn around, doubt settled in and only one question was on my mind.  Should I stop?  I was injured that is not the same as quiting is it?  SURE IT IS!!!!  It is because I was still on my feet standing.  Stoping would have been for my comfort not because I was physically impaired to continue.  However the pain was taking over.  So as I have said before, history would repeat it self.  All I could think was.....God here I am, as I was 19 years ago.  Not the same circumstances but the same feeling that I have to do what you want me to do.  I am here ready for whatever you decide, but it will be you and me because I can not go on alone.  Now, I want to clarify that no magical power occurs, no sudden burst of energy, in short no magic.  No that is not how it works.  Its a feeling, a feeling of companionship a feeling of belonging.  Pain, sure there it was as intense as ever but now, guess what, I was not alone any more, he was there with me and he was wearing running shoes.  I had my cheering section right there with me.  I decided right there I would finish, so I went on and started my second loop.  It took me 55 minutes to get to the far turnaround and as I did I knew I was on my way back, this time to the finish line.  By now my feet are just a mess and I am seriously hurt all the way to the bone on my foot.  As I passed the last water station my mind set changed from an 8 hour finish to just surviving to the finish line.  By now every step comes at a price and I am doing every thing in my power to accommodate my feet to avoid the pain of every step.  1.5 miles to go.  I stop at a bus stop bench as I had figured that if I took my compression socks off it might help drain some of the fluid from my blisters.  No logic to that but it was doing something to help relieve the pain.  As I took the first compression sock off, I took a peak at my foot and as I uncovered the foot I could see the bags full of blood and water.  I saw how big the blisters were and I realized just how much trouble I had on my hands.  I realized that if the skin decided to peel off on a step, that would be it.  No matter how close I was I would net be able to take another single step forward.  So I put my sock back on and off I went.  By the time I was 200mts from the finish line I could not take a step with out making a sound or taking a huge deep breath.  At that point all the emotion came crashing down, I mean there was just so much.  No one knew why I did not run the 1/2 marathon even as they would eventually find out but I was there just a few feet from ending this wonderful part of my journey.  I had proven to my kids that you can in fact do anything you put your mind to, I was greeted by Winter and Jochi at the finish line and felt whole as I had helped put the message out there about prostate cancer, Jochi placed the finisher medal around my neck, I was about to hug the most beautiful girl in the world, my Gabriela and I would be a 70.3 Ironman finisher.  I would thank my coach for taking on the task of getting me there and will embrace Julissa as my lifelong partner in good and bad.  However I did not want to cross until one thing was done.  God thank you, we did it one more time!!!!!.  I finally crossed.

It was a hard day but  full of satisfaction.  I was well trained and had no problems other than the blisters on my feet.  I was so happy to see so many friends finish in joy and had time to say a few words to some very special people.  Nestor another heavy guy and the nicest guy in the world finished with an impressive time, I was very happy for him, Alexandra who I declared an Ironman and told her I was proud of her at mile 12, I congratulated my friend and blog follower Antonio at mile 10 on his way to becoming an Ironman, and many others including my life long friend Tony who just kept running like a champion to an impressive 5+hour finish.  In all it was a wonderful day were all the hard work paid off.  I was happy and amazed at what I had just accomplished.  You learn every day and that day was no exception.  Our priorities will always change and as I said for many months, we all have our reasons. 

I accomplished a lot by doing this first part.  But the most important thing is that this event marked how my life has and will continue to change.  I look forward to the next event or crazy new idea.  After cancer you don't sit down waiting to die, that is not how it works but every time you need to make a decision it is on your mind.  I will give you an example.  It really mattered very little how fat I was.  I enjoyed eating with out control.  The reason I always gave was,  "If cancer did not kill me, being fat won't either" well as we all know that is pretty stupid.  This philosophy will probably be a good one for many things in my life but it has proved to be very wrong for many others.  I said and I knew this would change me.  I said I had a lot of anger I needed to work out.  Guess what, as I have learned it is probably not anger but being complacent about not doing anything expecting a rotten result because that is exactly what happened 19 years ago.  The ironic thing is that the result 19 years ago was not rotten at all.  I mean the situation was, having cancer does not get any worse, but the result was a pretty good one.  So, after very careful meditation and having accomplished something amazing I am ready to prove to all you and most importantly myself,  that indeed what I have set out to accomplish is in fact being accomplished.  How, very simple...........by just saying "I WAS WRONG".

To all the competitors of the inaugural Ironman San Juan 70.3  congratulations and my sincere hope that this beautiful event was as meaningful as it was for me, regardless of your particular reason.