June 6 2011. Unfortunately it is over!!!

I am in tears as I have to write this.  After all I have put my heart into into this adventure.  It comes a time when you have cancer where you realize you will never be the same.  No matter how well you feel or how good your life is there is always that doubt in your mind as if it is ever going to come back.  20 years ago Dr. B gave me a choice.  It was a hard choice but it was an easy decision.  He said "You can stay here with me and get cured, or you can leave but you will certainly die from this cancer".  Again, a hard choice but an easy decision.

Frankly it is the biggest disappointment I have felt in my life.  I am not disappointed for myself, I feel like I have done my training and my part but I can not get around the disappointment of not being able to race for those people that need me to.  The people with cancer and all those that will get it long after the race is over.  I have never quited anything in my life but maybe that is just another teaching I must learn.  Sometimes it is necessary to quit in order to achieve.

I can tell you that I am not hurt physically and thank God I am in perfect health and my family support is as strong as ever.  I have to make a choice and my choice I assure all of you that has no other option.  Trust me I have looked at all the options.

I am truly heart broken, sad and questioning "why" all over again.  But when I started this I said I had to leave my anger behind and face a new life.  I am not angry any more I am deeply disappointed and very, very sad.  I will talk to my kids and will try to explain to them I am not quiting but maybe postponing.  Cancer did not beat me back then and will not beat me this time either.  I just need to fight another day.

I never questioned Cancer and I wont question this either.  As I did 20 years ago I will accept what I need to do and move on as I did back then.

As heartbroken, disappointed and sad as I may be, I have no other choice but to withdraw from Ironman Canada.

I truly thank all of you for following this adventure and I hope I can indeed resume my quest to make a difference in the life of someone that needs a second chance like mine.

My love to all

Alberto