I want to wish all of you following me and my journey towards Ironman Canada a merry Christmas and a prosperous and blessed 2011. December 31 will be the mark of a new year, but it will also mark my 4th month of training for Ironman Canada. During this period I have met some wonderful people I did not even know existed. I have changed my attitude towards life, I have gotten a lot healthier, and I have gotten stronger and in much better shape than I ever imagined possible. I have questioned my convictions and my motives and I have broken what I though to be unbreakable barriers. There has been times where I have been invincible by mishap but others I have been vulnerable to phycological and state of mind issues regarding what I am doing and what I have been thru. I feel awesome in all context of what it is and why I am doing it. I am content with my progress, my training, and all of those who surround it. Most important I am thrilled about all the support I get everyday from many people.
Training is hard in many aspects but the most challenging is the mental aspect. Doing what you don't expect to do. Last Saturday we had our first long ride as part of our strenght training which means climbing hills. I was very nervous the night before. To the point where I took the car and Julissa so we could see what I would be facing in the morning. Ohhhhhhhhh my god. Is coach K out of his mind? I told Julissa she needed to go as "broom" because there was no way I could climb that hill and no way in the world I could take 3 hrs of riding in those hills. I gave it 1/2 hour maximum at my maximum effort. Well guess what I climbed and climbed all morning long and with the exception of a very steep hill that is for obvious very advanced riders I climbed and rode for 4 hours and 15 minutes and traveled 53 miles in the mountains. I was tired and beat but amazed of what I was capable of doing. We did it again yesterday and I am still here ready to go for more. In all last Saturday we climbed 2,698 vertical feet and yesterday 2,758 vertical feet. Not bad for the chubby guy huuuuuuuu.......
Friday was a breakthrough day. We had our long run and frankly I was sick and tired of the 7 mile mark and trying to improve. I made up a plan so I could test how I was doing and to test if I could indeed keep a 4 mile per hour pace even with programed walking time. So the plan was simple, I would run for 3/4 mile and would walk for 1/4 mile and so on. I would do this for 3 miles and then would run for 1/2 mile and then walk for 1/4 mile and so on. In the end I carried out my plan except I did the first phase for 4 miles and the rest as planned. End result was 2 hours 14 minutes and...... yes 10 miles. I can't tell you how happy I was. It mean a 2:56 1/2 marathon which breaks the 7 hour mark for a 70.3 Ironman. Not bad for 4 months of training.
Friday was also emotional and a breakthrough in my future life. I said at the beginning I had lots of anger about having cancer that I wanted to let go. I needed to heal. I think I have done lots of that but there is a lot more I need to let go. I think this will happen as I continue to imagine what crossing that line will be like and what it will eventually mean in the whole wide picture. I think part of that meaning is precisely this blog and talking about my experience and how this awful decease changes your life for ever. I took a step forward Friday and it was a big one. I invited coach K to my house on Friday so we could relax and just enjoy some wine. As we started talking triathlon as we always do we talked about old times. Old times, well I think it was time for him to actually see what old times were. I took out an album which I hate but it pretty much describes my adult life. I showed him a picture of me and Julissa that was taken right after I arrived from the military. In Short words I looked like I could do three or four Ironmans in a single day. Slim fit and full of life. I also showed him my military picture when I was 17. Young scared and somewhat ignorant. Coach K was amazed and obviously wondering "what happened". Well I showed him that too. As he saw pictures of me while on cancer treatment silence filled the air. He did not comment and neither did Yolanda his wife. I kind of know what they felt as they saw those pictures and probably got some added perspective of what it is that I am really doing and why. It does not matter they are good people and Coach K has made it a point of taking me where I want to go and that is enough for me. I hope they are not sorry for me in that aspect and frankly I don't think they are which is good. I am a fighter and always have been and being sorry won't get me across the line, training and readiness will. Maybe Coach K will sometime read this and maybe he won't, in the end the pictures he saw were of me dying in some sort of way. They certainly were of an individual whose future was as uncertain as his cure. Today with his help my training is as certain as the possibilities of finishing Ironman Canada. I was never ready to quit and was determined to overpass any obstacle placed in my way to survive cancer. I am decided to do the same as for my training for the Ironman. I have learned that God will determine what your individual path will be and I will not go around that. I am ready for mishaps, I could fall of the bike and get injured I could mentally fail, I could have a mechanical problem, etc. I am ready for any of that I truly am ready to accept any mishap. What I am not ready to accept is failing. As I have said many times I will not fail, I will not quit. We had a saying in the military, "If you find an obstacle, go around it, or above it, or underneath it, if all those options fail then you need to consider going thru it with out being detected or you need to execute plan B. What is plan B? "BLOW IT UP".
2010 has been wild and I expect to start 2011 as such. My friends you be the judge. Finall tally 2010
September 1 2010 December 31, 2010
Weight 270 230
Waist 44 38
Shirts 2XL XL
Bike 6 Miles 53 miles w/hills 2700 vertical feet
Maximum Run 3.90 mailto:miles@15:25/Mile 10 miles w/hills @ 13:28/mile
Swim 300 mts in 1 hr (Practice) 2300 mts 1 hour (Practice)
Soft & Creamy Ice Cream 4/ week minimum 1/month at best
Coke 6-10 cans/day 0
Pizza turn over 5/week 0
Total Training Time 0 13-15 hrs avg/ week
Wake up time 6:30AM 4:00AM
Week end Wake up Time 9:00-11:00AM 4:00-5:00AM
Not bad at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy new Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
2011 Ironman 70.3 San Juan | San Juan, 00901 | Saturday, March 19, 2011 @ 7:00 AM
Well here it is. This link will let you see my oficial registration to the San Juan 70.3 Ironman in March. I held up as long as I could because franqly I still have my doubts about weather I can make it or not. I am not a pesimist but perhaps a realist. I am very happy with my training and what I have achieved up to know. I don't know if I will make it or not and even if I will make the full at Canada or not. All I know is that I am giving my best and what my body can tolerate without getting injured. In the end I hope it is enough for me. I have trained hard and will continue. I get amazed every day on the milestones I reach and I remain very positive. I will have the attitude of champion and resolve of a soldier on a mission, I will not quit even if I fail. I am doing this for me, to be an example for thoose of you who had past similar obstacles, and to be a hero to my kids. I am doing this for my wife, to show her that there is no obstacle big enough to stop us and that with her by my side I can do anything. Finally, for a little girl whoose inspiration has made me a much better person. My coach has done an extraordinary job on training a 270lbs man for an event like this. A man with no excercise for the past 20 years, whoose diet was mainly Coca Cola, Ice Cream, and ham and cheese sandwiches. You know maybe Coach K is a good coach and maybe he is not. As far as my son Jochi and my daughter Gabriela goes their numbers will always speak for their training and their coach. So far they are remarkable. As far as for myself well Coach K should be ready to greet most of his athletes at the finih line somewhere at about 6:00 hours. However he wil probably see the end of the race as I will probably arrive with the last of the competitors. That is Ok, I do not pretend anything more. In the end I will be his most memorable athlete. I would be the one he transformed from a "Couch Bum" to an Ironman Athlete.
http://www.active.com/page/event_details.htm?event_id=1841595
http://www.active.com/page/event_details.htm?event_id=1841595
Monday, December 13, 2010
Dec. 13 2010 Will you be the one chosen?
The meaning of adoption is to take a total strangers kid, bring it to your home and call him yours. You need to love it, care for it, educate it, and yes support it. Simple right......very wrong! Adoption is a choice. It is a choice that few will regret and many will have a fulfilling life because of that choice. But please understand my message clearly..........The choice is not one of the parents, no my friends, the choice is of our kids! As parents we do not adopt to make our life complicated, or to add an expense to our finances, or to be like our neighbors, or even get a tax deduction. No sir, we adopt because we cherish and dream about a little kid calling us, DAD or MOM. We want to be referred to as Mother and Father, we want to change a life and we want to compete for the ultimate price, which is, our adoptive kids choosing us as their parents, as their true MOM and DAD.
I can't remember the exact dates but they are not really relevant. Julissa and me had been trying to conceive a child for some time know with obvious negative results. We both knew of the possibility of me being sterile from the chemo treatment and no precautions being taken. As this issue progressed where we wanted to be parents we talked about and explored many options. We knew two things. One we would not spend the equivalent of raising a child on a fertility treatment that had no definite results. Two we would take practical approaches to the solutions and will by all means try to keep our hearts out of our decisions. As time passed Julissa grew more impatient. I wanted a kid too I was just more realistic. Julissa started going to the doctors and asking me to go. By now you all know how I felt especially at that time about anything with a Dr. as a prefix to their name. I told her that we had a pretty good idea of what was the problem and that the best idea was for her to get tested and make sure she was OK and with that ruled out we will take it from there. In a nut shell she was fine and able to get pregnant so the arrow pointed straight at me. I agree to get tested as Julissa pleaded with me to do it. It had nothing to do with machismo or embarrassment, I am a realist and like I knew before I was told I had cancer I knew before I was told I was sterile. So I went and got tested. Obvious results, they are there but they are dead.
I explained in a previous post what happened next and how I dealt with the confirmed news. I felt like suing sure I did but in the end I was not about to sue the guy that saved my life. We then went to a fertility doctor. I can't remember his name but I will never forget where his office is in the Munoz Rivera Ave in Santurce. We sat down and he explained all the options possible. I will net get into all of them but lets just say that we would go broke just to try and get pregnant if we followed any of those methods or possibilities. By the way no guarantees. Can you imagine going to Sears buying a 10 thousand dollar tv set that might work or might not and if it does not well sorry buy another one. I don't think so. One of the options was obviously a donor. In many cases that method brings a lot of insecurities in men. Not me, I could care less, in the end I would be a father and Julissa would be a mom and it would be our kid. Where the mix came from, was of no relevance. The Dr. showed Julissa the "list" of elite sperm in their bank. This one is a lawyer, this one is 6' tall, this one is a musician, this one is black, this one is yellow, etc.etc.etc. Give me a break!!! Julissa asked the Dr. to let her think it over and we left. We crossed the street and stoped on the sidewalk. "what do you think" she asked", "I will do what you want I have no problem with anything except giving this guy all our money in pursuit of a maybe"I replied, Julissa, "you would accept a donor", me, "of course, I have no problem with that at all, but let me tell you something you need to know. All those qualities he just gave you about those men...they are all bull shit", Julissa "I think so also". Julissa "Adoption?", me "we have seen what my brother went thou, I think we have enough examples of the risks, why not change someones life", Julissa "But I want a baby", me "absolutely", Julissa "so, we are adopting?", me, "yes we are". Right then and there it was decided. We never looked back we were adopting and that was it. We informed the family and as any mother would, Julissa went to work. She spent weeks going to bed at 3 and 4 in the morning researching. I was proud of what she was doing and felt blessed to have her by my side.
So to make a long story short in March 4 1997 our son Jose Adolfo Garcia was born in Guatemala. His mother gave him up voluntarily as she could not care for him and the whole process was done thru the government authorities. One day later Jose was under our care even as we could not take him out of the country until he had a passport. Julissa flew o Guatemala the next day and made sure he was left in good hands and had everything he needed. I saw my son 1 month after as I went to Guatemala. As soon as I saw him something just went click. I can't explain it but I can assure you that from that day on I would do anything I had to do to protect and care for my son. No matter what it was. He was my son and my responsibility, so I was up to the job. I once heard a mother say she did not love her child until it was actually born and she saw him. I think its true, however once you see it there is no turning back. So Jose came home and most of the rest is history. I did learn thru the years that adoptive parents are a special breed. They say we choose our kids and that our kids are blessed. Not true, We care for our kids because we hope and pray that one day when they are old enough to comprehend what is and was involved they choose you as their parents. I suggest you watch the movie "The blind side" for a better explanation. All of you adults reading understand why I can not give more details but that is how we feel. We want to be chosen. As it turns out we liked it so much we did it all over again with daughter Gabriela.
Yesterday I ran the Contender Triathlon. One of the biggest triathlon events in Puerto Rico. Obviously Jochi was there to race also. At this point in my training this would be my last sprint distance tri, as I need and I am ready for longer distances. Yesterday I had all intentions of going hard and see what I was made off. Including giving my kid Jochi a run for his money. The event is the first tri to be televised live in PR so many people where watching the coverage as helicopters and cameras capture the action from many angles. 3,2,1 and we are off. I felt strong in the water but paced my self as I kind of the knew the route was longer than it should be. By the first turn I caught up with Jochi who was struggling and resting. I stopped for a minute and asked him if he was alright, he said yes. I figured he went out to hard and needed to catch his breath. It happens after all he is truly competing. I ffound a gap in his despair, here is my chance of going ahead of him for the first time. So I went ahead and kept on swimming. I wanted to beat him as I would have months of fun afterwards but the truth was that I could not clear my mind that he was behind me and not in front. See if he is in front I can see if something happens and I can help if needed but behind me is tough. I kept talking to myself that he has done this many more times than me and that I would be alright. I kept going, but he was on my mind. As I reached the beach for my second lap I knew he was still behind. As I entered the water again I could not see where he was but I was still in a race and needed to keep going. I was worried about his time and what was happening. I slowed my pace a bit, I wanted to beat him but I would feel very uneasy going into the bike and leaving him in the water. Then, it happened. There he was right by my side, his head out of the water, looking winded and in trouble. As he stoped besides me he started struggling with his goggles. Now I am starting to worry. I ask him "what is wrong, are you all right?". He quickly responded, "My goggles are broken, they are filling up with water and I can't see". It was automatic..........not a single though came to my mind, no analysis, no options, I was blank. In an instant I did something out of pure instinct. I took my goggles off and said "here take mine and go". Jochi is always thinking about others with is his humble nature, but for some reason he did not ask me anything or said a word. He took my goggles and hand me his broken ones as I said "make sure you put them on tight" he was gone and swimming hard. I took his smaller goggles and put them on as they filled with water immediately and no way of stoping it, as the silicon seal was separated from the lens. This was a good idea. So much for beating the little raskal. I stoped for a moment to think and well it was pretty simple. This I am trained for!!!!!! I continued my swim and started using rusty, but effective water navigation tools I had learned in the military. I tried them for a few meters and they were working pretty good. So off I went trying to get my rhythm. I knew what Jochis problem was so I was know confident he was alright and in front of me so I could concentrate on my now new problem. For the most part I was alright the water was coming into my good eye so that was positive. I swam with my eyes closed at a slower pace but making sure my stroke was equal on both hands and I stoped kicking as hard. I would every 15-20 strokes pause and with my left hand as it came forward raise my head just a little. Pulled the goggles away from my face and drained the water. I would get my heading on the marker and went on swimming for another 15 - 20 strokes. I must say that after a few tries I felt pretty relaxed and continued my swim. About 100 meters from the last marker I was already feeling a bit tired but I knew I was close. As I took one last look at the marker.......PUFF the band snapped right out of the goggles broken in half. That was it no more goggles. I placed them inside my shorts and kept going with my eyes closed and looking up as needed. Now my navigation became very erratic because I had my bad eye wet with salty water which is not good at all. I was erratic on direction making me look more often but I was know on the last 25 meters to the beach. I compensated by swimming harder but I was know turning to my strong side as I had difficulty equalizing the pull. As I got out of the water I handed the goggles to coach K who was at the beach. For me it was important for him to know what difficulties both Jochi and me had, for one so that he can evaluate how Jochi recovers from his mishap and for me so he knows I was OK and that I just had equipment problems. So up and running to T1 to get my bike.
Jochi's bike was next to mine and I felt relief when I got to my transition and his bike was not there. I got on my bike and started my ride. A few seconds later I could see Jochi coming the opposite way from the turn around and he was flying down the road. I felt good and proud. He knew he was behind so he kicked it a notch to make up for it and he was fine doing what he loves to do. So I kept going on my bike and got to my rhythm and riding hard as it was my plan.
At the end of the day I felt really good with my performance. I can ride harder but I am having a little bit of equipment issues at the moment but nothing serious. It was also the first time I ran the 5K completely no walking and felt great about it. I was ready for a second tri after I finished.
As I crossed the finish line I was told that my exchange of goggles in the water with Jochi was all transmitted Live on TV as the helicopter camera caught all of the action. I was actually amazed by that. Later in the day it finally hit me. My son was in trouble and I was fortunate enough to have been there for him to help him. It is ironic that I was there because of his inspiration to get into this sport. For me it was a simple thing, I like to believe any dad would have done the same. But in the end it was so rewarding there must be a reason behind. I don't know why Jochi and Gabi came into my life, but I am cristal clear on what my mission with those kids is all about. As a father I just wish I could always be there as I was on Sunday to help either one of them when they need me. Life is not that generous but for the time being I will take Sunday's event and place it in my most memorable moment file. Like I said I did it instinctively but after reflection it was an opportunity for me to show Jochi just how much I want to be chosen as his father when the time comes.
How about you, will you be the one chosen?
I can't remember the exact dates but they are not really relevant. Julissa and me had been trying to conceive a child for some time know with obvious negative results. We both knew of the possibility of me being sterile from the chemo treatment and no precautions being taken. As this issue progressed where we wanted to be parents we talked about and explored many options. We knew two things. One we would not spend the equivalent of raising a child on a fertility treatment that had no definite results. Two we would take practical approaches to the solutions and will by all means try to keep our hearts out of our decisions. As time passed Julissa grew more impatient. I wanted a kid too I was just more realistic. Julissa started going to the doctors and asking me to go. By now you all know how I felt especially at that time about anything with a Dr. as a prefix to their name. I told her that we had a pretty good idea of what was the problem and that the best idea was for her to get tested and make sure she was OK and with that ruled out we will take it from there. In a nut shell she was fine and able to get pregnant so the arrow pointed straight at me. I agree to get tested as Julissa pleaded with me to do it. It had nothing to do with machismo or embarrassment, I am a realist and like I knew before I was told I had cancer I knew before I was told I was sterile. So I went and got tested. Obvious results, they are there but they are dead.
I explained in a previous post what happened next and how I dealt with the confirmed news. I felt like suing sure I did but in the end I was not about to sue the guy that saved my life. We then went to a fertility doctor. I can't remember his name but I will never forget where his office is in the Munoz Rivera Ave in Santurce. We sat down and he explained all the options possible. I will net get into all of them but lets just say that we would go broke just to try and get pregnant if we followed any of those methods or possibilities. By the way no guarantees. Can you imagine going to Sears buying a 10 thousand dollar tv set that might work or might not and if it does not well sorry buy another one. I don't think so. One of the options was obviously a donor. In many cases that method brings a lot of insecurities in men. Not me, I could care less, in the end I would be a father and Julissa would be a mom and it would be our kid. Where the mix came from, was of no relevance. The Dr. showed Julissa the "list" of elite sperm in their bank. This one is a lawyer, this one is 6' tall, this one is a musician, this one is black, this one is yellow, etc.etc.etc. Give me a break!!! Julissa asked the Dr. to let her think it over and we left. We crossed the street and stoped on the sidewalk. "what do you think" she asked", "I will do what you want I have no problem with anything except giving this guy all our money in pursuit of a maybe"I replied, Julissa, "you would accept a donor", me, "of course, I have no problem with that at all, but let me tell you something you need to know. All those qualities he just gave you about those men...they are all bull shit", Julissa "I think so also". Julissa "Adoption?", me "we have seen what my brother went thou, I think we have enough examples of the risks, why not change someones life", Julissa "But I want a baby", me "absolutely", Julissa "so, we are adopting?", me, "yes we are". Right then and there it was decided. We never looked back we were adopting and that was it. We informed the family and as any mother would, Julissa went to work. She spent weeks going to bed at 3 and 4 in the morning researching. I was proud of what she was doing and felt blessed to have her by my side.
So to make a long story short in March 4 1997 our son Jose Adolfo Garcia was born in Guatemala. His mother gave him up voluntarily as she could not care for him and the whole process was done thru the government authorities. One day later Jose was under our care even as we could not take him out of the country until he had a passport. Julissa flew o Guatemala the next day and made sure he was left in good hands and had everything he needed. I saw my son 1 month after as I went to Guatemala. As soon as I saw him something just went click. I can't explain it but I can assure you that from that day on I would do anything I had to do to protect and care for my son. No matter what it was. He was my son and my responsibility, so I was up to the job. I once heard a mother say she did not love her child until it was actually born and she saw him. I think its true, however once you see it there is no turning back. So Jose came home and most of the rest is history. I did learn thru the years that adoptive parents are a special breed. They say we choose our kids and that our kids are blessed. Not true, We care for our kids because we hope and pray that one day when they are old enough to comprehend what is and was involved they choose you as their parents. I suggest you watch the movie "The blind side" for a better explanation. All of you adults reading understand why I can not give more details but that is how we feel. We want to be chosen. As it turns out we liked it so much we did it all over again with daughter Gabriela.
Yesterday I ran the Contender Triathlon. One of the biggest triathlon events in Puerto Rico. Obviously Jochi was there to race also. At this point in my training this would be my last sprint distance tri, as I need and I am ready for longer distances. Yesterday I had all intentions of going hard and see what I was made off. Including giving my kid Jochi a run for his money. The event is the first tri to be televised live in PR so many people where watching the coverage as helicopters and cameras capture the action from many angles. 3,2,1 and we are off. I felt strong in the water but paced my self as I kind of the knew the route was longer than it should be. By the first turn I caught up with Jochi who was struggling and resting. I stopped for a minute and asked him if he was alright, he said yes. I figured he went out to hard and needed to catch his breath. It happens after all he is truly competing. I ffound a gap in his despair, here is my chance of going ahead of him for the first time. So I went ahead and kept on swimming. I wanted to beat him as I would have months of fun afterwards but the truth was that I could not clear my mind that he was behind me and not in front. See if he is in front I can see if something happens and I can help if needed but behind me is tough. I kept talking to myself that he has done this many more times than me and that I would be alright. I kept going, but he was on my mind. As I reached the beach for my second lap I knew he was still behind. As I entered the water again I could not see where he was but I was still in a race and needed to keep going. I was worried about his time and what was happening. I slowed my pace a bit, I wanted to beat him but I would feel very uneasy going into the bike and leaving him in the water. Then, it happened. There he was right by my side, his head out of the water, looking winded and in trouble. As he stoped besides me he started struggling with his goggles. Now I am starting to worry. I ask him "what is wrong, are you all right?". He quickly responded, "My goggles are broken, they are filling up with water and I can't see". It was automatic..........not a single though came to my mind, no analysis, no options, I was blank. In an instant I did something out of pure instinct. I took my goggles off and said "here take mine and go". Jochi is always thinking about others with is his humble nature, but for some reason he did not ask me anything or said a word. He took my goggles and hand me his broken ones as I said "make sure you put them on tight" he was gone and swimming hard. I took his smaller goggles and put them on as they filled with water immediately and no way of stoping it, as the silicon seal was separated from the lens. This was a good idea. So much for beating the little raskal. I stoped for a moment to think and well it was pretty simple. This I am trained for!!!!!! I continued my swim and started using rusty, but effective water navigation tools I had learned in the military. I tried them for a few meters and they were working pretty good. So off I went trying to get my rhythm. I knew what Jochis problem was so I was know confident he was alright and in front of me so I could concentrate on my now new problem. For the most part I was alright the water was coming into my good eye so that was positive. I swam with my eyes closed at a slower pace but making sure my stroke was equal on both hands and I stoped kicking as hard. I would every 15-20 strokes pause and with my left hand as it came forward raise my head just a little. Pulled the goggles away from my face and drained the water. I would get my heading on the marker and went on swimming for another 15 - 20 strokes. I must say that after a few tries I felt pretty relaxed and continued my swim. About 100 meters from the last marker I was already feeling a bit tired but I knew I was close. As I took one last look at the marker.......PUFF the band snapped right out of the goggles broken in half. That was it no more goggles. I placed them inside my shorts and kept going with my eyes closed and looking up as needed. Now my navigation became very erratic because I had my bad eye wet with salty water which is not good at all. I was erratic on direction making me look more often but I was know on the last 25 meters to the beach. I compensated by swimming harder but I was know turning to my strong side as I had difficulty equalizing the pull. As I got out of the water I handed the goggles to coach K who was at the beach. For me it was important for him to know what difficulties both Jochi and me had, for one so that he can evaluate how Jochi recovers from his mishap and for me so he knows I was OK and that I just had equipment problems. So up and running to T1 to get my bike.
Jochi's bike was next to mine and I felt relief when I got to my transition and his bike was not there. I got on my bike and started my ride. A few seconds later I could see Jochi coming the opposite way from the turn around and he was flying down the road. I felt good and proud. He knew he was behind so he kicked it a notch to make up for it and he was fine doing what he loves to do. So I kept going on my bike and got to my rhythm and riding hard as it was my plan.
At the end of the day I felt really good with my performance. I can ride harder but I am having a little bit of equipment issues at the moment but nothing serious. It was also the first time I ran the 5K completely no walking and felt great about it. I was ready for a second tri after I finished.
As I crossed the finish line I was told that my exchange of goggles in the water with Jochi was all transmitted Live on TV as the helicopter camera caught all of the action. I was actually amazed by that. Later in the day it finally hit me. My son was in trouble and I was fortunate enough to have been there for him to help him. It is ironic that I was there because of his inspiration to get into this sport. For me it was a simple thing, I like to believe any dad would have done the same. But in the end it was so rewarding there must be a reason behind. I don't know why Jochi and Gabi came into my life, but I am cristal clear on what my mission with those kids is all about. As a father I just wish I could always be there as I was on Sunday to help either one of them when they need me. Life is not that generous but for the time being I will take Sunday's event and place it in my most memorable moment file. Like I said I did it instinctively but after reflection it was an opportunity for me to show Jochi just how much I want to be chosen as his father when the time comes.
How about you, will you be the one chosen?
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Dec. 7th, 2010 97 days into training, things have changed!!!
First the stats. Today my weight is 232 pounds. I have lost 38 pounds. However, the day I started I was wearing size 44 pants and XXXL shirts. Today, size 40 is starting to fall off and I am now XL shirt size. Not bad. Some stats have compiled:
This week is an easy recovery week and thank God for that. Saturday I did the swim and the bike route for the Ironman 70.3 in march. I had little problems there. Sunday I ran 7 miles of the run course but ran out of water by mile 5 and by mile 7 I was dehydrated. It was better to stop than to push an injury. I will budget and plan my water better for next time. I felt really tired this weekend and I was suffering all along my training. However coach knows best. I planned on calling him Monday and telling him that I needed a rest and that I needed this week to recover. My surprise when I saw the schedule !!! It was indeed an off week. That means various things but the most important is that I finished up my build up phase. Good and bad. it means I survived a hard part but know we are well on our way to the strength phase which means lots of hurt and pain but getting stronger. I am up for it.
I have some battles I am fighting right know. For one, I hate being condescending on my training and not being competitive with others in the group. I look up to them and serve as my example and despite my mind wanting to push harder I am wiser and I know if I push too hard I will get injured. I have been sitting on my ass for more than 20 years and I can not pretend to compete with those guys at this point. However trying to reach what they can do although frustrating at times will serve me as motivation to work hard. I have never been second in my life so it is hard to accept that I am behind, but that is reality and I have to live with it. I tell you one thing though, they better train and train hard, because I will get them and pass them that is for sure. However do not misunderstand my message, I will not compete for places or trophies, that part of my life has passed and I have learned that in this sport you deserve respect just by finishing the race. These people I train with are my friends and colleagues, as they have been for my son as mentors and role models, it won,t matter how fast I get and how much better I become, my respect for them will not change. I will just have people to talk to while I train instead of watching their back side all the time.
My goal until the Ironman is simple and continues to be the same. I want to finish the race regardless of the time. I have to admit I am scared about it. Being scared is not bad at least in my case. Last time I felt scared in this way I had a rifle in my hand and had my head so far in the dirt that I got invited to Australia so I could teach Australian ostrich how to put their heads in the ground. When that event started, lets just say I did not miss one single shot. So I am hoping for the same in Canada. I will be scared all along my training and I will have doubts all along. It is called fear and in some people it paralyzes them but in others it brings out the best in them. I hope that is me.
I can at this point swim and bike a 70.3 distance in 4 hours. How ever I do not think I can run the 13 miles afterwards. I can run them by themselves but not as a single event yet. Frankly I am not sure if I will be confident enough come March that I in fact have that distance in me. But I guarantee you that I will go until I can not move to complete the course. It will be a mental practice and I know it plenty. That is where my mind will be tested. I will use everything on the course I will be OK.
Along time many people have supported me. However some even as they support me they unintentionally plant doubts in my mind. It is a tough course, the hills, the wind, etc. etc. When you hear a season rider worried about the bike course hills in Canada you must worry as well. An when you hear your coach talking about Canada being beautiful but hard you worry. As I said they do it unintentionally but I am listening. In the end most or all of those people do not have a clue of what I am capable of doing to accomplish a goal of this magnitude. It has been my formation, and it is what I was tough and learned extremely well in the military. As it so happens I was one of the best at that particular subject. So....even as knowing what I am made of I will plan for A,B,C,&D but if all fails drastic needs will require drastic measures. Cancer did not kill me so I find it hard to believe that walking a bike up a hill will. At the end of the day if it was easy everyone would be doing it, don't you think.
So.........as I rest this week it is also time to rest and regroup my mind and rest that also. I am going to take it real easy while I get ready to start the new phase of training. In all I am pleased with what I have accomplished to date and I am as committed as ever to work hard and get better. Coach K......come Sunday I will be ready for you, so bring it on. Things have changed, including my body, my attitude and certainly my endurance, all for the very best but indeed things have changed.
"The only easy day was yesterday"
- My first swim was about 300mts. - Today my practice sessions are 2000+mts and I can swim comfortably about 1.2 miles open water.
- My first bike ride was 6 miles and I had to sit on the bike afterwards for a minute because my legs would not hold me - Today I can ride 25 miles at a pace of 29-20MPH and can ride 53-55 miles in less than 3:20:00.
- My first long run was 2 miles and could not run another step. - Today I can run 7.5 miles with out stopping but could probably run and walk for 10-12 miles no problem. I can run a mile at sub 12 minutes per mile.
This week is an easy recovery week and thank God for that. Saturday I did the swim and the bike route for the Ironman 70.3 in march. I had little problems there. Sunday I ran 7 miles of the run course but ran out of water by mile 5 and by mile 7 I was dehydrated. It was better to stop than to push an injury. I will budget and plan my water better for next time. I felt really tired this weekend and I was suffering all along my training. However coach knows best. I planned on calling him Monday and telling him that I needed a rest and that I needed this week to recover. My surprise when I saw the schedule !!! It was indeed an off week. That means various things but the most important is that I finished up my build up phase. Good and bad. it means I survived a hard part but know we are well on our way to the strength phase which means lots of hurt and pain but getting stronger. I am up for it.
I have some battles I am fighting right know. For one, I hate being condescending on my training and not being competitive with others in the group. I look up to them and serve as my example and despite my mind wanting to push harder I am wiser and I know if I push too hard I will get injured. I have been sitting on my ass for more than 20 years and I can not pretend to compete with those guys at this point. However trying to reach what they can do although frustrating at times will serve me as motivation to work hard. I have never been second in my life so it is hard to accept that I am behind, but that is reality and I have to live with it. I tell you one thing though, they better train and train hard, because I will get them and pass them that is for sure. However do not misunderstand my message, I will not compete for places or trophies, that part of my life has passed and I have learned that in this sport you deserve respect just by finishing the race. These people I train with are my friends and colleagues, as they have been for my son as mentors and role models, it won,t matter how fast I get and how much better I become, my respect for them will not change. I will just have people to talk to while I train instead of watching their back side all the time.
My goal until the Ironman is simple and continues to be the same. I want to finish the race regardless of the time. I have to admit I am scared about it. Being scared is not bad at least in my case. Last time I felt scared in this way I had a rifle in my hand and had my head so far in the dirt that I got invited to Australia so I could teach Australian ostrich how to put their heads in the ground. When that event started, lets just say I did not miss one single shot. So I am hoping for the same in Canada. I will be scared all along my training and I will have doubts all along. It is called fear and in some people it paralyzes them but in others it brings out the best in them. I hope that is me.
I can at this point swim and bike a 70.3 distance in 4 hours. How ever I do not think I can run the 13 miles afterwards. I can run them by themselves but not as a single event yet. Frankly I am not sure if I will be confident enough come March that I in fact have that distance in me. But I guarantee you that I will go until I can not move to complete the course. It will be a mental practice and I know it plenty. That is where my mind will be tested. I will use everything on the course I will be OK.
Along time many people have supported me. However some even as they support me they unintentionally plant doubts in my mind. It is a tough course, the hills, the wind, etc. etc. When you hear a season rider worried about the bike course hills in Canada you must worry as well. An when you hear your coach talking about Canada being beautiful but hard you worry. As I said they do it unintentionally but I am listening. In the end most or all of those people do not have a clue of what I am capable of doing to accomplish a goal of this magnitude. It has been my formation, and it is what I was tough and learned extremely well in the military. As it so happens I was one of the best at that particular subject. So....even as knowing what I am made of I will plan for A,B,C,&D but if all fails drastic needs will require drastic measures. Cancer did not kill me so I find it hard to believe that walking a bike up a hill will. At the end of the day if it was easy everyone would be doing it, don't you think.
So.........as I rest this week it is also time to rest and regroup my mind and rest that also. I am going to take it real easy while I get ready to start the new phase of training. In all I am pleased with what I have accomplished to date and I am as committed as ever to work hard and get better. Coach K......come Sunday I will be ready for you, so bring it on. Things have changed, including my body, my attitude and certainly my endurance, all for the very best but indeed things have changed.
"The only easy day was yesterday"
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Nov. 11, 2010 As soon as you think you have it made, you get hit even harder.
About half way thru my cancer treatment I was given a break and started getting radiation therapy. Radiation is like an x-ray, it is just a machine that makes a little noise and that is it. You feel absolutely nothing, right!! Well yes and no. My radiation therapy consisted on shooting a ray thru the center of my eye to kill the bad cells in there. The actual therapy was very quick probably about 45 seconds or so. However it took about 15-20 minutes to fit me into my mask. The ray must pass at the same angle every time so in order to acomplish that they fit you into a mesh custom made mask which is fixed to the radiation table every day. The process of making the mask was kind of cool but as always when they tell you to stay still things automatically start to itch. Anyway every day as I arrived and waited my turn just looking at all the people there for the same deal. That place was full al the time. When it was my turn I would go in and lie on the table. The first day I was scared. In came the nurse with my mask and the process begins. It takes a while because the fit has to be exact every time. Once fitted you are staying still and well evrything itches but you dont scratch or the process must start again. They shoot the ray and feel absolutly nothing. The nurse then comes in and takes you off the mask and you are sent home. I remember the first day I said to my mom, is that it. This is good. No chemo, no hospital stays, and no throwing up, I can get used to this!!! The process went on 24 days in a row and after the 24th day I was sent home smiling. So I was done with radiation right. Right I was ready to go in and see Dr. B for a change of plans. I was for sure going to tell him that the radiation deal was much better than the chemo deal. He will buy it after all he wanted the best for me right. Right. No probem at all I had the thing figured out right, WRONG!!! It is now two days after my radiation is finished. By the hour my eye burns more and more until it becomes unbearable. In a matter of 8 hours the right side of my face is burning up. I have a big red circle around my right eye. My hair had grown back, it was short but it was hair. So directly behind my eye all the way in the back of my head I start to loose my hair again until it is bald. Actually till today I still have that bald spot. My eye turns cherry red and I am scratching as hard as I can. By morning I had a swollen eye and a bald spot. Mom please take to the hospital emediatly. I am in so much pain in my eye it is ridiculous and I truly though they screwed it up and ruined all the previous work. As I walk into the Dr Tse's office in Bascom Palmer I pleaded with him to tel me what hapened. He explained to me that thoose were natural and expected reactions to radiation theratpy. Because of me scratching my eye so much I managed to sratch my cornia which is very painfull. So you see it was my fault. Yeah right. As I got trated and sent home I though about the radiation Dr. and how diffrent he was to all the others that treated me while I was there. I can't remember his name or even his face and even if I wanted to I could not even remember where the radiation room was other thatn at Jackson Memorial which is very big. Why is this Dr. relevant, other than him being an idiot they have said he was the one responsible for leaving me sterile. How about that!!!!
Yes folks I was indeed left sterile from as they say, radiation therapy. I am a logical kind of guy and to be honest I don't think it was the radiation that left me that way although my radiologist was in fact a bonehead. I know little about medicine but logic tells me that there is a big distance between my head and my ...... well you know. Unless something in the brain controls that part of my body and it was righ along the path of the ray it is highly unlikely that radiation was responsible. In all honesty I believe it was the chemo. The truth is that they should have told me that could happen and precautions could have been taken. In that department I know for a fact that Dr. B and my mom dropped the ball along with others. I have to admit that after it was too late I was kind of angry at the situation. Suing crossed my mind. However one day I started thinking and came to a simple conclution. My mom didn't care about that sort of thing, in her eyes if tratment was not started right away I would instanly die, she was desperate. I think it was a little too much to think at that point about something like that although she should have. In terms of Dr. B wll maybe he droped the ball. However here is a man that created the protocol to treat me and practically saved my life. He fucked up in one thing, a myor item, but you know what, WHO CARES. I am here aren't I. I ask myself, God gave me a second chance of life, he is probably watching and what do I want to do sue him for a few bucks. I don't think so!!!! I all yes I was left sterile but you want to know a secret, It was a smal price to pay. I had spoken to some lawers about it and sure they all wanted the case. I hope there are no laweres but if there is one reading my apologies but all you guys like is won cases like mine, the dificult ones you don't want or want to get paid regardless. It is a fact of life but a bad one at best. In turn I felt what it meant to do the right thing. Sure I had been damaged, sure it would hunt me for life and sure I would have probably gotten a lot of money. For what, for trashing my doctor, the one that put all his effort into saving my life. Unfortunately you don't see that a lot these days but in my book doing the right thing felt great. After that I was a better person.
I believe God has a plan for each and every one of us. Mine was to adopt my two kids, Jochi and Gabi. that is my job on this land. I won't get into much detail but my kids needed me they both needed a father like me, one that was willing to do anything for them regardless of consecuence. They were both born in crapy circumstances and I have gotten a life lesson out of both my kids. I am a stronger man, I am wiser and I am a better person just by knowing my kids. I am here to educate them, make them into productive people or athletes or whatever it is that they choose to do I am here to see that they have the cahnce to succeed and the space to fail. The armed forces tough me to fight against all enemies they tought me to defend our borders and our nation they tought me how to defend our way of life and they tauogh me how to defend our country against all enemies foreign and domestic. It also tought me to defend and protect my children, chidren that needed protection and someone to defend them. I was lucky enough to have been there. I wish I could give Julissa the gift of life, for her to become a biological mom. I can't. It hurts me and it hurts her but that is just another price we have to pay. That is just another notch that cancer gave us and that is why I hate this desease so much. That is why I need to finish this race and that is why I have to laugh in cancer's face and along with my friends scream out loud....HERE I AM YOU SON OF A BITCH, I AM ALIVE AND STRONGER THAN EVER, BUCKLE UP BECAUSE WE WILL FIND A WAY TO KICK YOUR ASS EVERY TIME YOU DARE TO SHOW UP.
I started this page yesterday and could not finish. I have been thinking a lot about what I have disscused here today. I am lucky I am so lucky. I have decided to invite a very special friend to Ironman Canada. Not to compete but to take a vacation and see me finish. He is not an emotional person but I know for a fact that he cares and he cares very much. I will take my time to find the right words and meaning to my invitation but I have decided that I will invite Dr. B to Ironman Canada. I want him to see me finish something amazing and thank him one more time for saving my life.
Training, sure I trained today. It was a good day. We swam today and the program called for 2100 mts. I was kind of glad and for days I was about to tell coach K to crank up the volume and to get serious. I was feeling very comfortable with the previous distances we were swiming in practice. I did not say anything because I always apply famous Navy slogan. Do as you are ordered but do not volunteer for anything. Since day 1 I always said I would not question my coach and I did not but I was glad to see the volume increase. As we swam the practice was hard. I was struggling near the end when coach K decided to give it a little personal touch. He called evryone to the wall and said we were going to do 50 mts hard swim 10 times. Oh Lord!!!!! There was some winning but although I did not like the idea I kept quiet as I always do. I figured I would do my best. As we got on with it I concentrated on technique and moved as fast as I could. 53 seconds not bad. Then the second, the third and so on. By the 6th repetition my arm could not pull any more but I kept going with what I had. The funny thing is that as we went on I actually got quiker. How about that. Man I was feeling good. Near the end of each rep I could pull no more but other than the muscle failure I was feeling great. After we were done I felt really good about what we had done that day. i saw seasoned athletes struglling and i was struggling too but I held my own in the front. My effort merited me with a text message from coach K with a good effort message. I was happy about it very happy. I was indeed feeling very comfortable with the distance we were swiming I though I had it made. But as I though I had it made I got hit even harder!!! I am sure it will get harder after this new phase gets easier. That is the Ironman!!!!
Yes folks I was indeed left sterile from as they say, radiation therapy. I am a logical kind of guy and to be honest I don't think it was the radiation that left me that way although my radiologist was in fact a bonehead. I know little about medicine but logic tells me that there is a big distance between my head and my ...... well you know. Unless something in the brain controls that part of my body and it was righ along the path of the ray it is highly unlikely that radiation was responsible. In all honesty I believe it was the chemo. The truth is that they should have told me that could happen and precautions could have been taken. In that department I know for a fact that Dr. B and my mom dropped the ball along with others. I have to admit that after it was too late I was kind of angry at the situation. Suing crossed my mind. However one day I started thinking and came to a simple conclution. My mom didn't care about that sort of thing, in her eyes if tratment was not started right away I would instanly die, she was desperate. I think it was a little too much to think at that point about something like that although she should have. In terms of Dr. B wll maybe he droped the ball. However here is a man that created the protocol to treat me and practically saved my life. He fucked up in one thing, a myor item, but you know what, WHO CARES. I am here aren't I. I ask myself, God gave me a second chance of life, he is probably watching and what do I want to do sue him for a few bucks. I don't think so!!!! I all yes I was left sterile but you want to know a secret, It was a smal price to pay. I had spoken to some lawers about it and sure they all wanted the case. I hope there are no laweres but if there is one reading my apologies but all you guys like is won cases like mine, the dificult ones you don't want or want to get paid regardless. It is a fact of life but a bad one at best. In turn I felt what it meant to do the right thing. Sure I had been damaged, sure it would hunt me for life and sure I would have probably gotten a lot of money. For what, for trashing my doctor, the one that put all his effort into saving my life. Unfortunately you don't see that a lot these days but in my book doing the right thing felt great. After that I was a better person.
I believe God has a plan for each and every one of us. Mine was to adopt my two kids, Jochi and Gabi. that is my job on this land. I won't get into much detail but my kids needed me they both needed a father like me, one that was willing to do anything for them regardless of consecuence. They were both born in crapy circumstances and I have gotten a life lesson out of both my kids. I am a stronger man, I am wiser and I am a better person just by knowing my kids. I am here to educate them, make them into productive people or athletes or whatever it is that they choose to do I am here to see that they have the cahnce to succeed and the space to fail. The armed forces tough me to fight against all enemies they tought me to defend our borders and our nation they tought me how to defend our way of life and they tauogh me how to defend our country against all enemies foreign and domestic. It also tought me to defend and protect my children, chidren that needed protection and someone to defend them. I was lucky enough to have been there. I wish I could give Julissa the gift of life, for her to become a biological mom. I can't. It hurts me and it hurts her but that is just another price we have to pay. That is just another notch that cancer gave us and that is why I hate this desease so much. That is why I need to finish this race and that is why I have to laugh in cancer's face and along with my friends scream out loud....HERE I AM YOU SON OF A BITCH, I AM ALIVE AND STRONGER THAN EVER, BUCKLE UP BECAUSE WE WILL FIND A WAY TO KICK YOUR ASS EVERY TIME YOU DARE TO SHOW UP.
I started this page yesterday and could not finish. I have been thinking a lot about what I have disscused here today. I am lucky I am so lucky. I have decided to invite a very special friend to Ironman Canada. Not to compete but to take a vacation and see me finish. He is not an emotional person but I know for a fact that he cares and he cares very much. I will take my time to find the right words and meaning to my invitation but I have decided that I will invite Dr. B to Ironman Canada. I want him to see me finish something amazing and thank him one more time for saving my life.
Training, sure I trained today. It was a good day. We swam today and the program called for 2100 mts. I was kind of glad and for days I was about to tell coach K to crank up the volume and to get serious. I was feeling very comfortable with the previous distances we were swiming in practice. I did not say anything because I always apply famous Navy slogan. Do as you are ordered but do not volunteer for anything. Since day 1 I always said I would not question my coach and I did not but I was glad to see the volume increase. As we swam the practice was hard. I was struggling near the end when coach K decided to give it a little personal touch. He called evryone to the wall and said we were going to do 50 mts hard swim 10 times. Oh Lord!!!!! There was some winning but although I did not like the idea I kept quiet as I always do. I figured I would do my best. As we got on with it I concentrated on technique and moved as fast as I could. 53 seconds not bad. Then the second, the third and so on. By the 6th repetition my arm could not pull any more but I kept going with what I had. The funny thing is that as we went on I actually got quiker. How about that. Man I was feeling good. Near the end of each rep I could pull no more but other than the muscle failure I was feeling great. After we were done I felt really good about what we had done that day. i saw seasoned athletes struglling and i was struggling too but I held my own in the front. My effort merited me with a text message from coach K with a good effort message. I was happy about it very happy. I was indeed feeling very comfortable with the distance we were swiming I though I had it made. But as I though I had it made I got hit even harder!!! I am sure it will get harder after this new phase gets easier. That is the Ironman!!!!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Nov. 13 2010 Its called the Ironman for a reason.
You know I am starting to wonder if the things that happen to me ever happen to someone else. However I have asked my self that question half my life. Today we had sort of like a tri practice. We were supposed to swim for about 30 minutes, then bike for 2-3 hours and finally run for 30-40 minutes. Frankly I was pumped up for this workout. It would give me a chance to really push it on all three discipines and see exactly where I was. I wanted to get in a Half Iron distance swim folloed by a 50 mile bike ride and then find out how much I could run. I kind of recruited some other people for the 50 mile ride so I was not going to be alone. Out we went for the swim and we took in about 1300 meters because the ocean was a little bit less than friendly today. However we were fine at the place we were swiming. I felt realy good on the swim. I swam in the front with only two other guys in front and I felt realy strong. We got out of the water and on to the bike. I was on my new practice bike which is a tri bike so today was the first time I would practice on it and start to get some distance on the bike in the new position. As we got wormed up I fet realy good on the new bike. The aro position is very comfortable except for a couple of shoulder muscles which I will have to work on them to get more flexible. However keeping in front of the pack was easy and the compact cranks reduce my effort by a lot. It is somewhat harder to keep my cadence up because of the 175 cranks but I will eventualy get it right and they will be a necesity when I start to climb. My new bike is a bullet and being on tubular tires helps even more. I kept it low on the heart rate and just peddaled away. I felt real nice all ride long. Our ride would place us back at our cars at about 38 miles so the plan was to ride and aditional 6 miles out and then back to complete the 50 miles before the run.
Today I had my nutrition pretty well defined and I was taking about 340 calories per hour and plenty of water so I felt fine. I hit the wall at about 34 miles and I had to go slower. My pressure point in my foot was once again bothering me and I felt weak. I took in a jelly pack and took my foot of the pedal to relieve the pressure point. Continued to hydrate and rode along. It took me about 10 minutes to get back to business but I started to feel strong again. I placed my shoe back on and got ready to get on cranking once again. At this point I am about 2.5 miles from where our cars were and the group had disapeared up front. As I rode alone I climed the hill to the top of the bridge. I climed it very easily at a steady pace so I was pretty happy. As I go over the top and down the other side PUFF!!!! I blow out my rear tire. A flat oh no!!! Remember I am riding on tubulars so no tube to change I needed a new tire which I did not have. I have to mention that yesterday I had the tire in my hand at the bike shop. I found the price a little high and I though to my self that I could wait till next week to get a spare to carry. I remember thinking "Iwont get a flat tomorrow, come on Tubulars a hard to pinch" right. Well obvously wrong!!! So here I am flat with two miles to my car. I had co2 canisters and valve so I had means of inflating the tire again. It was worht the try thinking the hole could be small enough to get me to my car. Wrong again. I inflated the tire and hopped on the bike. It lasted only 100 meters and I was flat again. At this point I had to figure out what to do. I had really no problem at all. I had my cell, there are plenty of riders on the road, plenty of cars around and the guys should appear running very soon. However me being me my thinking was diffrent. I am in fact training for an Ironman. What happens if this same things happens during the Ironman 2 miles from transition? Today a tire but what happens if during the Ironman something else breaks? So...it took me about 3 seconds to know exactly what I wanted to do. I always tell Jochi and Gaby that you race how you train. So I applied the saying to me. Here was my chance to train for plan B. I would accep no help from anyone and I would .....well, run to my car or in the Ironman to transition. I secured my helmet to the bike and took my shoes off and cliped them to the pedals. So... I started running with only my socks on. The funny thing is that I felt pretty good running except for some cranps on my thighs wich I have to deal with while I get those muscles strong enough. I cranked up the ipod and ran along. I was actually doing pretty good however as I ran I was very councious of how carefull I had to be not to push the pace or I would for sure blister the bottom of my feet. As I ran I could feel the bottom of my feet getting tender so I started to think more about blistering. I though about it for a few minutes and actually decided that if I blistered my feet my training would suffer a delay and that it was not worth it at this point. OOOOOps............too late!!! I felt so tender that I knew I had blisters on both my feet. I stoped emediately and started walking. One step, two steps, three steps and I started to feel the real deal. I had blistered both my feel and actually they were pretty bad. I was in pain as I walked but then again I didn't care what was done was done. I was still in Ironman plan B simulation mode. As I walked along the guys from the group cmae running in the oposite direction with coach K. They all asked and I said I was fine. I did not want to interrupt their training run. Coach K stoped and I explained what happened and I told him I had y feet blistered. We talked for a minute and I assured him I was OK so he continued with his run. 2 miles latter I arrived at my car and confimed my guess. I had blistered both my feet.
In retrospect I should have not tried to run with only my socks. Especially on that road which is very rough. But in the end running the bike to the car was the only thing I figured to do. I concentrated so much on what I was doing today that felt like there was no tomorrow. Tomorrow my feet will hurt lots and the day after that also. But when they heal they will be that much stronger maybe it is stupid and maybe it is not but after they heal they will be able to take the abuse I put them thru today in a much better fashion. You know the event is not about being a hero but it is in fact an event that has been labled as brutal and very hard on the body. That is what this event is about. There is an issue to consider and that is that if this would have been the real thing I would have not been able to continue to the marathon in that fashion, but it did help me learn some of the things I need to be ready for should this situation happens for real. In all it was a good day and folks it is called the Ironman for a reason!!!!!
Today I had my nutrition pretty well defined and I was taking about 340 calories per hour and plenty of water so I felt fine. I hit the wall at about 34 miles and I had to go slower. My pressure point in my foot was once again bothering me and I felt weak. I took in a jelly pack and took my foot of the pedal to relieve the pressure point. Continued to hydrate and rode along. It took me about 10 minutes to get back to business but I started to feel strong again. I placed my shoe back on and got ready to get on cranking once again. At this point I am about 2.5 miles from where our cars were and the group had disapeared up front. As I rode alone I climed the hill to the top of the bridge. I climed it very easily at a steady pace so I was pretty happy. As I go over the top and down the other side PUFF!!!! I blow out my rear tire. A flat oh no!!! Remember I am riding on tubulars so no tube to change I needed a new tire which I did not have. I have to mention that yesterday I had the tire in my hand at the bike shop. I found the price a little high and I though to my self that I could wait till next week to get a spare to carry. I remember thinking "Iwont get a flat tomorrow, come on Tubulars a hard to pinch" right. Well obvously wrong!!! So here I am flat with two miles to my car. I had co2 canisters and valve so I had means of inflating the tire again. It was worht the try thinking the hole could be small enough to get me to my car. Wrong again. I inflated the tire and hopped on the bike. It lasted only 100 meters and I was flat again. At this point I had to figure out what to do. I had really no problem at all. I had my cell, there are plenty of riders on the road, plenty of cars around and the guys should appear running very soon. However me being me my thinking was diffrent. I am in fact training for an Ironman. What happens if this same things happens during the Ironman 2 miles from transition? Today a tire but what happens if during the Ironman something else breaks? So...it took me about 3 seconds to know exactly what I wanted to do. I always tell Jochi and Gaby that you race how you train. So I applied the saying to me. Here was my chance to train for plan B. I would accep no help from anyone and I would .....well, run to my car or in the Ironman to transition. I secured my helmet to the bike and took my shoes off and cliped them to the pedals. So... I started running with only my socks on. The funny thing is that I felt pretty good running except for some cranps on my thighs wich I have to deal with while I get those muscles strong enough. I cranked up the ipod and ran along. I was actually doing pretty good however as I ran I was very councious of how carefull I had to be not to push the pace or I would for sure blister the bottom of my feet. As I ran I could feel the bottom of my feet getting tender so I started to think more about blistering. I though about it for a few minutes and actually decided that if I blistered my feet my training would suffer a delay and that it was not worth it at this point. OOOOOps............too late!!! I felt so tender that I knew I had blisters on both my feet. I stoped emediately and started walking. One step, two steps, three steps and I started to feel the real deal. I had blistered both my feel and actually they were pretty bad. I was in pain as I walked but then again I didn't care what was done was done. I was still in Ironman plan B simulation mode. As I walked along the guys from the group cmae running in the oposite direction with coach K. They all asked and I said I was fine. I did not want to interrupt their training run. Coach K stoped and I explained what happened and I told him I had y feet blistered. We talked for a minute and I assured him I was OK so he continued with his run. 2 miles latter I arrived at my car and confimed my guess. I had blistered both my feet.
In retrospect I should have not tried to run with only my socks. Especially on that road which is very rough. But in the end running the bike to the car was the only thing I figured to do. I concentrated so much on what I was doing today that felt like there was no tomorrow. Tomorrow my feet will hurt lots and the day after that also. But when they heal they will be that much stronger maybe it is stupid and maybe it is not but after they heal they will be able to take the abuse I put them thru today in a much better fashion. You know the event is not about being a hero but it is in fact an event that has been labled as brutal and very hard on the body. That is what this event is about. There is an issue to consider and that is that if this would have been the real thing I would have not been able to continue to the marathon in that fashion, but it did help me learn some of the things I need to be ready for should this situation happens for real. In all it was a good day and folks it is called the Ironman for a reason!!!!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Nov. 11, 2010 Do you believe in God? I met him!!!!
If you believe God is the creator of all things you are probably right but you also have to understand that Gods perfection is based on balance rather than on definite answers. He created evrything but when he was done there were things that were left with out balance. For instance the church and all its denominations. This was a perfect place where all people worshiped those who ran such places of God. These people were not ony respected but in many periods of antient and modern times priests, pastors and men of God were also feard. God saw this perfection and new he needed balance so being who he is he crated what we all know as BULL SHIT!!! Yes my friends BULL SHIT. But he came up with another problem, Bull Shit by it self becomes credible at some point and if that happened he would be back in square one again with perfection. So he gave men the inteligence to know the diffrence between what is real and what is Bull Shit, and then he went ahead and gave that diffrence a great big audience known today as SUCCERS! Who are they? Look around you because you probably know a few of them. I will soon tell you why many so called Pastors and even priests or so called men of God are full of Bull Shit and are not real and do not represent God at all. I want to clarify one thing which is very imortant, I have proof that most pastors and other so called men of God are impostors but I wanto to say this before many of you even think about calling me a liar or pretend to say that I am wrong. I am 100% right and I won't discuss this with anyone. FAITH RESIDES IN AN INDIVIDUAL'S HEART AND IS ONLY AS POWERFULL AS THAT INDIVIDUAL'S BELIEF. LISTENING OR AGREEING WITH A PASTOR, PREACHER, PRIEST OR WHOEVER WILL NOT MAKE YOU A GOD WORTHY PERSON. THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE YOU IS YOUR OWN FAITH AND WHAT YOU BELIEF.
Here is the official summary of why many religions and other cults and persons saying they are Gods messenger are full of Bull Shit. I will then go into why I know this for a fact and why many of you are SUCCERS!!
Shortly after ariving in Miami a wide spread range of religions and people started praying for my healing and well being. As I said I believe that faith is in your heart not in your church. I felt honored for all the prayers and good wishes from everyone no matter the reliegion. I took very little time for me to start getting invites to many churches and diffrent places. My mom was trying to hold on to anything and although my faith was in my heart and in my God, I saw my mother suffering my illness and the only thing where she found comfort was in religions. So I started to accept some of thoose invitations. The first one was to my sister's church. Alfa and Omega! It was a nice temple full of people. In comes the pastor as worshiped by everyone, and behind him his wife and two nannies that take care of their children. Expensive suit and tie clean cut man and his wife looked like a diva on tight pants so her ass can be evaluated and all the makeup and jewlery in the world. In the crowd a familiar face. There he was full of Gods grace, El gordo Porcel. Now there is a Gods man in the flesh. Give me a break. I new I was in for a real nice Bull Shit session. My sister had her heart in the right place she was just one of thoose people God made as Succers to balance things out. Of course it was salvation day and the pastor was advertised as the savior of all. So I stood in line and waited my turn. One by one many people stood in front of the pastor as he placed his hands on the persons head. they will all fall to ground some of them shaking and others screaming things they call toungues. As I learned more Bull Shit. Frankly I got scared I started thinking, what is guy going to do to me. Any way he placed his hands on me and obviously nothing happend. I did ask God to help me and made a silent prayer. After the show many of them still in wheel chairs and critches would swear they felt cured but the truth was they were a screwed as they went in.
As I said many were praying. My mother in law knew this colombian priest that was known for healing people. His name was Moseniour Zuluaga. He was indeed very famous among the catholic community. It so happened that he was in Miami for a series of sanation services and I was arranged a private meeting with him. I can not remember tha man's name whose apatment we went in Alton Road Miami beach to see Monseniour Zuluaga but I will never forget the room we were in. I won't detail it but all the decoration was white. I met Monseniour as he was a humble man and a soft spoken priest. After a while he placed his hands on my head and made a pryer for my sanation. i also prayed. The truth is that after I left that apartment I was a sick as I got there and as screwed as 20 minutes before. So we went home and my mother was happy. The next day he was offering a service in a small church in Miami beach. When you are 21 and with cancer believe me you hope for anything even if it is a miracle. I had high expectations for my private meeting with Monseniour which in the end rendered nothing so to be truthfull the next day I wanted to go to church so I can have a little chat with God about the day before. See I was pissed and I wanted to know why me, why cancer, why at this moment and why even as I went to his designee for sanation I was still in the same place. Hey you ask me to live by your rules and teachings well my frien you better keep your end of the deal to and that deal did not have cancer anywhere. As I listened to the service I started to calm down. I spoke with God and beleive me spoke my mind, however all thru my conversation and for a reason I will never be able to explain I was convinced that it was me that was wrong and that there was something in the whole deal that I could not see. After a few minutes of having a heated discussion with God about my situation I was very calm. My heart changed from mad to acceptance. In a matter of seconds I found myself asking for his intervention and a few seconds latter I was convinced that he was the only one that could change what was happening to me. So the time came when Monseniour started to place his hands. As I stood in front of him he had no idea who I was. Wierd but true. He asked what was my problem? Only one word came out of my mouth...Cancer. He placed his hands as I closed my eyes and asked God to do his magic. My heart was punding and I felt out of breath for a brief moment because of emotion not because of strage powers or amazing currents thru my body. I opened my eyes and left to my bench. Yes I still had that black spot in my eye. However this time I was not disappointed, I was confident for some reason I felt very diffrent. People say it was a miracle, maybe it was but I always think about why would God allow me the priviledge of a miracle. The truth is as I left that buildidng I could see better out of that eye or in better words I believed I could see better. I asked my mom for the car keys and as surprised as she was I drove all the way home that night and continued to drive ever since. Is it a clear cut miracle where now you can't see and now you can. Of course not I didn't see clearly out of that eye but it was definately clearer. However my miracle is not based on what I could see or not. It was based on what I felt, and that was that I would beat the cancer and since the moment that Monseniour placd his hands on me I was sure and confident that I would beat the cancer and go on. 19 years latter I am here writing about it so you decide and call it what you want. I know how I call it!!!!
After my sanation I paid little atention to anything else related. I wento to other churches with other people but most of them were full of Bull SHit and Succers. I learned in that journey that faith is in the people and as I observed diffrent people in diffrent churches the principle remained constant. The majority worship the pastor not Jesus and the few that do all have one thing in comon. They do not have a close relationship with the pastor. They go to the church listen to the word of God, and go home with their faith renewed of new energy and power.
It was a thursday and as I layed on hte couch my mom tells me that a nurse from my brothers work is coming to pick us up to take us to a church and that they were going to pray for me. I told her I did not want to go and that I did not feel well. I had chemo that day which meant I could not be too far from a bathroom for a long time. She said it would only be a few minutes and to please go for her. I knew my mom held up to God very strongly thru my illness so I went. When we meet the lady in the parking of the apartment she wanted us to go in her car. I refused because I did not like to throw up out side the house and I was not feeling well so if I had to leave early I wanted to have our car there. At this point I was bold, had no eyebrows, and my skin was yellow. Anyone who saw me knew I was sick from outer space. As we arrived at the temple in Coconut Groove we parked and went in. They sat us at the first row. In a matter of minutes that place was full of people all praying with their butts to the altar. That was something I had never seen. We saw as the lady that took us there went to the pastor's office and talked to him. We were like a fly floting in a bowl of milk. I kind of new what would happen and I told my mom I wanted to leave. She did not want to so we were not seen as disrespectfull to the woman who took us there. As the service started a histerical woman took the microfone and started singing and yelling a whole bunch of crap. It was impresive. Then Pastor Aldo made his apperence. it took him all but 30 seconds to start telling his congregation that it was a magical day and that he felt the power of God upon him to make salvation of a sick soul. Someone who needed salvation or will soon die. CUE.........I knew exactly what was going on and would take no part of it. I got up and left. As I was leaving a man stops me and tells me that Pastor Aldo can save me. I told him to tell pastor Aldo to find another circus monkey to save and that I was leaving. Mom followed and as I went to the car I found that it was bloked purposely by another car. As we are outside we could hear as Pastor Aldo told his congregation that the devil was acting upon us and how salvation was going to ocurr that day but that we ruined evrything because we did not believe etc. etc. etc. I was firous and obviously the owner of the car was not to be found. A few minutes latter my mom comes by and she tells me that a couple of young guys wanted to pray for me. i wanted nothing to do with them but she started crying and got very nervous because I was extremely firous at that point. I remember thinking that if all they wanted to do was a prayer and I could please my mom I had nothing to loose so I accepted. The little prayer turned into a heated bible debate and everything I said was refuted with a bible passage. In the end I felt defenceless so I picked up the only thing that was undebatable. I layed the nuclear bomb!!!! Not to go into a long detail but the guys argument was based in that I needed to forget everything I believed in and trust Pastor Aldo and only then will I get salvation. Come to think of it. it was agood deal. Forget your religion and your convictions imediatly, walk in there and ask pastor Aldo for salvation and I would get it. No more cancer!!! What a deal!!! Of course I told him to go swrew himself like a light bulb and that I was not going to do that. By now I am surrounded by at least a dozen people of with bibles in hand. So i said God its you and me lets rumble!!! I get the guys attention and ask, What would you say if I told you that all of my believes, paid off as I got salvation from the hands of a cathilic priest a few days ago? There was a profound silence for a seccond and then came the most unexpected answer I could ever imagine. The guy gets serious and says, "you have to be very carefull with that because remember that the Devil can also cure you". I was extremely weak and felt very sick but I was ready to start swingiing. The only thing that prevented a brawl was my mom who steped in front of me and grabed my arm as we walked away. We walked to a Burger King acroos the street were we sat for at least two more hours until the sevice was over and we could get our car out. As we are leaving we see the lady that took us there and as if she cared she asked why we left. We told her the most polite but serious thing we though of and said that the people there said to us that their God was diffrent than ours. Her answer? It is...... While at the Burger King I threw up and felt miserable, iasked my mom that I did not wanted to go to any other church except mine. I had my share of Gods charity and we did not need anymore he had been good to us. She accepted and I have never entered another church of any so called pastor and probably never will.
That experience marked me for ever. I can respect and do respect other religions and the peoples right to express their faith. But till this day I have 0 tolerance for anyone trying to convince me about other religions or any other churches. However as I said, Gods perfection is based on balance. About 13 years ago I met a guy who ended up working for me for many years. Because of illnes and the type of work I do he does not work for me any more but we are very good friends. He is like family to me and is the only person I have ever talked about church with since my experience. He goes to a church near his house which is not catholic and is presided by a pastor who I do not know. His name is Reinaldo and as I said is the only person I talk church or religion with. Even as he is not catholic he is a man of faith, which means he dresses the part and acts the part. Rey and his family are good average citizens with virtues and defects but in all they personally make their best effor to follow in the steps of Jesus and that is what religion and believing in god is all about. Rey is my mentor in terms of the bible whch I have never read. But I truly enjoy asking Rey questions about the bible because I learn and feel very comfortable speaking my mind and believes with him. We once discussed salvation and how all you have to do is accept Jesus in your heart to obtain it. At first his concept and mine were totally diffrent but as time has passed I have learned to understand his teaching and he has learned to understand his student. See he has never ever invited me to his church as I have never invited him to mine yet hes has taugh me about God and my relationship with him even as we practice religieon diffrently. They say students are reflects of their teachers so I am pretty sure his pastor probably speaks very little Bull Shit and is probaby a true man of God with its vitues and defects, or maybe balance. The Ironman is about changing lives especially mine. Maybee if Rey ever invites me I would be honored to be his guest at his church. After all, me of all people know it is what is in your heart that matters and Rey has also taugh me that. No question about it I believe in God. Do you believe in God? you should because, I met him!!!!!
P.S. What does all this have to do with the Ironman. Everything because God allows me to train and make a diffrence. Because he has given strenght and peace to the Vineki family to deal with the loss of their husband, and father. But most of all because he created balance. A painfull balance for a family that lost their loved one but joyful balance for all of thoose that will continue to live because of what Winter and her Team are doing for prostate cancer. In the end it has everything to do with the Ironman.
Here is the official summary of why many religions and other cults and persons saying they are Gods messenger are full of Bull Shit. I will then go into why I know this for a fact and why many of you are SUCCERS!!
- Jesus was a noble man, simple and living under primitive conditions where personal hygene and other basic stuff as we know it would not even be invented for centuries. When you meet a so called man of God make sure to look at his wife. Trust me if she is wearing designer clothing with a matching Coach purse, a Rolex, white pants with a black g-string, a 40 dollar manicure and a 100 dollar hair do. That man is full of BULL SHIT!!!
- Jesus did not only deal with poor people in distress. He also dealt with men of power and great ritches. How ever he never attempted to imitate any of them did he? He was a the son of a king, of couse, but his kindom was based on his doing not his showing. When you se a man of God driving a Mercedes or any other luxury car under the excuse thet he is the son of a king and as such he must be in luxury. He is probably refering to king muhamed of who knows where because the king I believe in had nothing and shared everything. And like I said he is a king of action not of show. So if you see your pastor in a nice ride you can tell him that he is full of BULL SHIT! You wont be wrong!
- Jesus invented good intentions and the devil invented money! Sure churches and places of God need money to exist and pay their bills. Of course they do. Sure the pastors, preaches and priests need money to eat, live and many other things. Of course they do. Have times changed? Of course they have. Actualy they have changed dramatically. Jesus lived in a hut. Pastors live in mantions and castles. Jesus walked or rode a donkey where he went. Pastors ride in Mercedes and BMW's. Jesus was a carpinter which meant he worked for a living. Pastors talk Bull Shit for an hour every sunday. That is a nice deal. I think Jesus got the short end of that stick. God needs to be a little more fair next time don't you think?
- Pastors say that the Virgin Mary is not really a virgin because she lost her virginity giving birth to Jesus. Really!!! Is that how it works? However Pastors can be men of God days after leaving a life full of crime, drugs, boose, infidelity, and destruction of others people lives. Who are you kidding you are completely full of Bull Shit.
Shortly after ariving in Miami a wide spread range of religions and people started praying for my healing and well being. As I said I believe that faith is in your heart not in your church. I felt honored for all the prayers and good wishes from everyone no matter the reliegion. I took very little time for me to start getting invites to many churches and diffrent places. My mom was trying to hold on to anything and although my faith was in my heart and in my God, I saw my mother suffering my illness and the only thing where she found comfort was in religions. So I started to accept some of thoose invitations. The first one was to my sister's church. Alfa and Omega! It was a nice temple full of people. In comes the pastor as worshiped by everyone, and behind him his wife and two nannies that take care of their children. Expensive suit and tie clean cut man and his wife looked like a diva on tight pants so her ass can be evaluated and all the makeup and jewlery in the world. In the crowd a familiar face. There he was full of Gods grace, El gordo Porcel. Now there is a Gods man in the flesh. Give me a break. I new I was in for a real nice Bull Shit session. My sister had her heart in the right place she was just one of thoose people God made as Succers to balance things out. Of course it was salvation day and the pastor was advertised as the savior of all. So I stood in line and waited my turn. One by one many people stood in front of the pastor as he placed his hands on the persons head. they will all fall to ground some of them shaking and others screaming things they call toungues. As I learned more Bull Shit. Frankly I got scared I started thinking, what is guy going to do to me. Any way he placed his hands on me and obviously nothing happend. I did ask God to help me and made a silent prayer. After the show many of them still in wheel chairs and critches would swear they felt cured but the truth was they were a screwed as they went in.
As I said many were praying. My mother in law knew this colombian priest that was known for healing people. His name was Moseniour Zuluaga. He was indeed very famous among the catholic community. It so happened that he was in Miami for a series of sanation services and I was arranged a private meeting with him. I can not remember tha man's name whose apatment we went in Alton Road Miami beach to see Monseniour Zuluaga but I will never forget the room we were in. I won't detail it but all the decoration was white. I met Monseniour as he was a humble man and a soft spoken priest. After a while he placed his hands on my head and made a pryer for my sanation. i also prayed. The truth is that after I left that apartment I was a sick as I got there and as screwed as 20 minutes before. So we went home and my mother was happy. The next day he was offering a service in a small church in Miami beach. When you are 21 and with cancer believe me you hope for anything even if it is a miracle. I had high expectations for my private meeting with Monseniour which in the end rendered nothing so to be truthfull the next day I wanted to go to church so I can have a little chat with God about the day before. See I was pissed and I wanted to know why me, why cancer, why at this moment and why even as I went to his designee for sanation I was still in the same place. Hey you ask me to live by your rules and teachings well my frien you better keep your end of the deal to and that deal did not have cancer anywhere. As I listened to the service I started to calm down. I spoke with God and beleive me spoke my mind, however all thru my conversation and for a reason I will never be able to explain I was convinced that it was me that was wrong and that there was something in the whole deal that I could not see. After a few minutes of having a heated discussion with God about my situation I was very calm. My heart changed from mad to acceptance. In a matter of seconds I found myself asking for his intervention and a few seconds latter I was convinced that he was the only one that could change what was happening to me. So the time came when Monseniour started to place his hands. As I stood in front of him he had no idea who I was. Wierd but true. He asked what was my problem? Only one word came out of my mouth...Cancer. He placed his hands as I closed my eyes and asked God to do his magic. My heart was punding and I felt out of breath for a brief moment because of emotion not because of strage powers or amazing currents thru my body. I opened my eyes and left to my bench. Yes I still had that black spot in my eye. However this time I was not disappointed, I was confident for some reason I felt very diffrent. People say it was a miracle, maybe it was but I always think about why would God allow me the priviledge of a miracle. The truth is as I left that buildidng I could see better out of that eye or in better words I believed I could see better. I asked my mom for the car keys and as surprised as she was I drove all the way home that night and continued to drive ever since. Is it a clear cut miracle where now you can't see and now you can. Of course not I didn't see clearly out of that eye but it was definately clearer. However my miracle is not based on what I could see or not. It was based on what I felt, and that was that I would beat the cancer and since the moment that Monseniour placd his hands on me I was sure and confident that I would beat the cancer and go on. 19 years latter I am here writing about it so you decide and call it what you want. I know how I call it!!!!
After my sanation I paid little atention to anything else related. I wento to other churches with other people but most of them were full of Bull SHit and Succers. I learned in that journey that faith is in the people and as I observed diffrent people in diffrent churches the principle remained constant. The majority worship the pastor not Jesus and the few that do all have one thing in comon. They do not have a close relationship with the pastor. They go to the church listen to the word of God, and go home with their faith renewed of new energy and power.
It was a thursday and as I layed on hte couch my mom tells me that a nurse from my brothers work is coming to pick us up to take us to a church and that they were going to pray for me. I told her I did not want to go and that I did not feel well. I had chemo that day which meant I could not be too far from a bathroom for a long time. She said it would only be a few minutes and to please go for her. I knew my mom held up to God very strongly thru my illness so I went. When we meet the lady in the parking of the apartment she wanted us to go in her car. I refused because I did not like to throw up out side the house and I was not feeling well so if I had to leave early I wanted to have our car there. At this point I was bold, had no eyebrows, and my skin was yellow. Anyone who saw me knew I was sick from outer space. As we arrived at the temple in Coconut Groove we parked and went in. They sat us at the first row. In a matter of minutes that place was full of people all praying with their butts to the altar. That was something I had never seen. We saw as the lady that took us there went to the pastor's office and talked to him. We were like a fly floting in a bowl of milk. I kind of new what would happen and I told my mom I wanted to leave. She did not want to so we were not seen as disrespectfull to the woman who took us there. As the service started a histerical woman took the microfone and started singing and yelling a whole bunch of crap. It was impresive. Then Pastor Aldo made his apperence. it took him all but 30 seconds to start telling his congregation that it was a magical day and that he felt the power of God upon him to make salvation of a sick soul. Someone who needed salvation or will soon die. CUE.........I knew exactly what was going on and would take no part of it. I got up and left. As I was leaving a man stops me and tells me that Pastor Aldo can save me. I told him to tell pastor Aldo to find another circus monkey to save and that I was leaving. Mom followed and as I went to the car I found that it was bloked purposely by another car. As we are outside we could hear as Pastor Aldo told his congregation that the devil was acting upon us and how salvation was going to ocurr that day but that we ruined evrything because we did not believe etc. etc. etc. I was firous and obviously the owner of the car was not to be found. A few minutes latter my mom comes by and she tells me that a couple of young guys wanted to pray for me. i wanted nothing to do with them but she started crying and got very nervous because I was extremely firous at that point. I remember thinking that if all they wanted to do was a prayer and I could please my mom I had nothing to loose so I accepted. The little prayer turned into a heated bible debate and everything I said was refuted with a bible passage. In the end I felt defenceless so I picked up the only thing that was undebatable. I layed the nuclear bomb!!!! Not to go into a long detail but the guys argument was based in that I needed to forget everything I believed in and trust Pastor Aldo and only then will I get salvation. Come to think of it. it was agood deal. Forget your religion and your convictions imediatly, walk in there and ask pastor Aldo for salvation and I would get it. No more cancer!!! What a deal!!! Of course I told him to go swrew himself like a light bulb and that I was not going to do that. By now I am surrounded by at least a dozen people of with bibles in hand. So i said God its you and me lets rumble!!! I get the guys attention and ask, What would you say if I told you that all of my believes, paid off as I got salvation from the hands of a cathilic priest a few days ago? There was a profound silence for a seccond and then came the most unexpected answer I could ever imagine. The guy gets serious and says, "you have to be very carefull with that because remember that the Devil can also cure you". I was extremely weak and felt very sick but I was ready to start swingiing. The only thing that prevented a brawl was my mom who steped in front of me and grabed my arm as we walked away. We walked to a Burger King acroos the street were we sat for at least two more hours until the sevice was over and we could get our car out. As we are leaving we see the lady that took us there and as if she cared she asked why we left. We told her the most polite but serious thing we though of and said that the people there said to us that their God was diffrent than ours. Her answer? It is...... While at the Burger King I threw up and felt miserable, iasked my mom that I did not wanted to go to any other church except mine. I had my share of Gods charity and we did not need anymore he had been good to us. She accepted and I have never entered another church of any so called pastor and probably never will.
That experience marked me for ever. I can respect and do respect other religions and the peoples right to express their faith. But till this day I have 0 tolerance for anyone trying to convince me about other religions or any other churches. However as I said, Gods perfection is based on balance. About 13 years ago I met a guy who ended up working for me for many years. Because of illnes and the type of work I do he does not work for me any more but we are very good friends. He is like family to me and is the only person I have ever talked about church with since my experience. He goes to a church near his house which is not catholic and is presided by a pastor who I do not know. His name is Reinaldo and as I said is the only person I talk church or religion with. Even as he is not catholic he is a man of faith, which means he dresses the part and acts the part. Rey and his family are good average citizens with virtues and defects but in all they personally make their best effor to follow in the steps of Jesus and that is what religion and believing in god is all about. Rey is my mentor in terms of the bible whch I have never read. But I truly enjoy asking Rey questions about the bible because I learn and feel very comfortable speaking my mind and believes with him. We once discussed salvation and how all you have to do is accept Jesus in your heart to obtain it. At first his concept and mine were totally diffrent but as time has passed I have learned to understand his teaching and he has learned to understand his student. See he has never ever invited me to his church as I have never invited him to mine yet hes has taugh me about God and my relationship with him even as we practice religieon diffrently. They say students are reflects of their teachers so I am pretty sure his pastor probably speaks very little Bull Shit and is probaby a true man of God with its vitues and defects, or maybe balance. The Ironman is about changing lives especially mine. Maybee if Rey ever invites me I would be honored to be his guest at his church. After all, me of all people know it is what is in your heart that matters and Rey has also taugh me that. No question about it I believe in God. Do you believe in God? you should because, I met him!!!!!
P.S. What does all this have to do with the Ironman. Everything because God allows me to train and make a diffrence. Because he has given strenght and peace to the Vineki family to deal with the loss of their husband, and father. But most of all because he created balance. A painfull balance for a family that lost their loved one but joyful balance for all of thoose that will continue to live because of what Winter and her Team are doing for prostate cancer. In the end it has everything to do with the Ironman.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Nov 1, 2010 Not bad for 60 days.
It has already been 60 days since my first training for Ironman Canada. It all starts to come together so I feel like I am in the right trak. I still see the Ironman like a monumental task, but perhaps one that can be conquered. Many have done it. I used this many times during my military years specially when I was scared. I remember thinking that it would soon be over and that is what prompted most of us to finish our jobs and go home. This weekend's training was sort of special. It was special in a sense that I broke some boundaries and learned a few things. It was also a week end training that challenged me and I know it got me stronger.
We had our long run scheduled for saturday. I wanted to do it friday in order to have sunday off but that did not work out. So off I went on saturday. As always the group took off and left me behind soon after departure. I am still strugling with my heart rate so I was decided to not let it rise above what it should to let me keep running. I ran and ran until I was at my turn around point. Suprised....very!!! I turned back and as I did, I was getting more decided to not stopping until I had completed my 70 minute run. In the end at abour 65 minutes my back starting acting up and I had been fighting it for a while now. So I stopped and walked for about 2 minutes. I finally ran the rest of the way. I was very happy, in the end I had ran 5.22 miles. Given it was slow at about 14+ minutes per mile but it is still running. A far leap to where I was just a couple of weeks ago.
After running we had an open water swim programed. We went to the beach at the Condado Plaza where we swim regularly. But saturday was not a regular day. You could see the current flowing very strong and the ocean was, well lets just say less than friendly. Some decided they would stay close to the beach. Me well, I decided I would do the usual route and soon one other guy followed along. There is a small sand burm in the middle of the path and as I got to it I walked ankle high thru it. My partner saw me walking and he just took the other way which separated us about 50 meters from each other. Even before I went in the water I knew the current was bad. I had plan A,B,C, & D in case anything happened and I evaluated posible outcomes. In the end the worse that could happen was that I would let myself go under the bridge and into the lagoon where away from the current I would swim to shore. Right.........Wrong, in fact that plan was stupid for 2 reasons, # 1 the bridge is under construction and going below it by itself presents a risk not to mention that I had to measure it right so as not to hit the piling and ge stuck to it. The second part was that I had already ran for 5 miles, far more than I had never ran so I was tired as it was and if I made it to the other side of the bridge I would had about a 500 meter swim to the nearest beach minimum. Anyway out we went and as I kept on swiming I could feel the current. I was correcting about 1 complete side stroke for every two just to keep track in a semi straight line. Gathering from the distance to the wall that was a very serious correction. The current did not catch us as to where we could really judge it because we were swiming at probably a 25 degree angle down stream from it. So it was not terribly easy but the resistance was not head on. So as I swam I felt like it was going to be a tough workout but I would be fine. So we reach the wall, I cheked on my buddy and everything was OK, we knew it would be hard going back but no sense in criying about it we just took off. Now we are heading almost head on once we correct for travel. So as you can imagine it was not easy. As I have always said I have no fear of the water and feel confortable in it, but I also know when to recognize that I am in trouble. There is a crane at the bridge so it served as refrence to measure my progress. As I took a breath I could se the crane. 3 strokes and the crane is at the same place, 3 more strokes and the crane is at the same place, 3 more strokes but this time with some added power and the crane was still in the same place, so by know I go full force for another 3 strokes and the crane moves ever so slightly. I am still not facing my reality and I though I needed to make sure it was in fact not moving. At this point however I recognize I am in the middle of a very strong current and I have to keep moving constantly. To verify my fears I find a white sandy patch on the grassy ocean floor and I look at it while I take a few strokes. First three normal and then three strokes at full power. Guess what, the patch was still there. Ok I am officially in trouble. I is incredible how so many years after your training is son embeded in your brain that it just takes over. I assesed my situation and imediatly knew it was just a matter of patience and some hard work. From that point on I made it a point that every stroke had to count for progress away from that current. I continued to swim hard on the water resting on the way forward and keeping my breathing in control. If my breathing got out of control I would have had to float at the mercy of the current. As I did this I started making some progress untill I finally got a rythm going. At this point I was in survival mode tired but aware of what I had to do. I wathched my technique as best I could and increase my cadence as the current got stronger and slowed it down as it got weaker. By know I am cramping in various places in my legs. It was like loosing a cilinder. I was kiking pretty hard to maintain position as I slowed my cadence to keep my breathing in check. As I cramped I did not attempt to resolve it since it would mean backtracking so I just left that part of the leg unused and as a passenger. Thank fully my cramps were not stubburn cramps and easily gave in and I had use of the muscle again. It took me 12 minutes to swim 300 meters in that current as I was keeping my time, part of my plan. You keep your time so you can track your progress and if it is even worth the effort of what you are doing. Just one of thoose little things you never forget. By the way I could see my partner in fron so that is why I was so focused on my own set of problems, however I was checking on him periodically. He is a strong swimmer so I felt he was probably better than I was. Thru all of it I kept very calm, no problems. I was not in the best of situations but I wasn't drowning either and its not like I had no more options. i took and option and stuck with it and it worked. I was soon at the beach and relaxing in the water close to it. The other people were unaware of my litlle adventure but we all agreed that the conditions were not good for swiming in them. My situation was bad because of my run before the swim. i was tired and my legs had done the work out of their lives before my swim. In the end it was all OK.
Sunday we went for our long ride. I would call it uneventfull but in fact something really special happened. For months now I have been riding the Dorado route. When you get to the town center you can go in two directions. To the left or straight. To the left is where all cyclist go. It takes you around the city center on a relatively flat course and then on to the hotel road or to the short or long bike courses that are typical for cyclist depending on what they are doing that day. Straight ahead is the terrible hill. I call it that because it is avoided by all yet it stares at you all the time because you turn left right at its lowest pint. The hill as i learnes is about 400 meters and 11 degrees up. All cyclist go around all the time but for me everytime I passed around it was like something to one day beat. It kind of stares at you and to me it even laughs at you. it is like it says "go around you chicken shit or I will tear you apart". Sunday I felt good real good. The group had left me behind so the only way to catch up and even go ahead of them was to climb the hill. As I aproached the bridge right before the hill I wondered if I should even try it. As I approached I kind of imagine that hill just laughing at the fat guy kind of looking away saying "he won't even dare to try it". I mean it was a fantasy but the reality was that the hill was always there and I always went around it. Not sunday. I got a high gear and buid speed as I tackeled the problem head on. As I lost the speed I shifted to low gear, then lower, then lower, in seconds I was on my lowest gear and climbing steady. As I climed I smiled as I felt good going up and over the hill. I slowed my cadence afterwards but I was not terribly drained either. In the end I conquered the hill I climed it with flying colors and I am no longer afraid of it. Actually fron now on everytime I take that route I am climbimg that hill just as a reminder of who is king!!!!! Not bad for 60 days!!!!
We had our long run scheduled for saturday. I wanted to do it friday in order to have sunday off but that did not work out. So off I went on saturday. As always the group took off and left me behind soon after departure. I am still strugling with my heart rate so I was decided to not let it rise above what it should to let me keep running. I ran and ran until I was at my turn around point. Suprised....very!!! I turned back and as I did, I was getting more decided to not stopping until I had completed my 70 minute run. In the end at abour 65 minutes my back starting acting up and I had been fighting it for a while now. So I stopped and walked for about 2 minutes. I finally ran the rest of the way. I was very happy, in the end I had ran 5.22 miles. Given it was slow at about 14+ minutes per mile but it is still running. A far leap to where I was just a couple of weeks ago.
After running we had an open water swim programed. We went to the beach at the Condado Plaza where we swim regularly. But saturday was not a regular day. You could see the current flowing very strong and the ocean was, well lets just say less than friendly. Some decided they would stay close to the beach. Me well, I decided I would do the usual route and soon one other guy followed along. There is a small sand burm in the middle of the path and as I got to it I walked ankle high thru it. My partner saw me walking and he just took the other way which separated us about 50 meters from each other. Even before I went in the water I knew the current was bad. I had plan A,B,C, & D in case anything happened and I evaluated posible outcomes. In the end the worse that could happen was that I would let myself go under the bridge and into the lagoon where away from the current I would swim to shore. Right.........Wrong, in fact that plan was stupid for 2 reasons, # 1 the bridge is under construction and going below it by itself presents a risk not to mention that I had to measure it right so as not to hit the piling and ge stuck to it. The second part was that I had already ran for 5 miles, far more than I had never ran so I was tired as it was and if I made it to the other side of the bridge I would had about a 500 meter swim to the nearest beach minimum. Anyway out we went and as I kept on swiming I could feel the current. I was correcting about 1 complete side stroke for every two just to keep track in a semi straight line. Gathering from the distance to the wall that was a very serious correction. The current did not catch us as to where we could really judge it because we were swiming at probably a 25 degree angle down stream from it. So it was not terribly easy but the resistance was not head on. So as I swam I felt like it was going to be a tough workout but I would be fine. So we reach the wall, I cheked on my buddy and everything was OK, we knew it would be hard going back but no sense in criying about it we just took off. Now we are heading almost head on once we correct for travel. So as you can imagine it was not easy. As I have always said I have no fear of the water and feel confortable in it, but I also know when to recognize that I am in trouble. There is a crane at the bridge so it served as refrence to measure my progress. As I took a breath I could se the crane. 3 strokes and the crane is at the same place, 3 more strokes and the crane is at the same place, 3 more strokes but this time with some added power and the crane was still in the same place, so by know I go full force for another 3 strokes and the crane moves ever so slightly. I am still not facing my reality and I though I needed to make sure it was in fact not moving. At this point however I recognize I am in the middle of a very strong current and I have to keep moving constantly. To verify my fears I find a white sandy patch on the grassy ocean floor and I look at it while I take a few strokes. First three normal and then three strokes at full power. Guess what, the patch was still there. Ok I am officially in trouble. I is incredible how so many years after your training is son embeded in your brain that it just takes over. I assesed my situation and imediatly knew it was just a matter of patience and some hard work. From that point on I made it a point that every stroke had to count for progress away from that current. I continued to swim hard on the water resting on the way forward and keeping my breathing in control. If my breathing got out of control I would have had to float at the mercy of the current. As I did this I started making some progress untill I finally got a rythm going. At this point I was in survival mode tired but aware of what I had to do. I wathched my technique as best I could and increase my cadence as the current got stronger and slowed it down as it got weaker. By know I am cramping in various places in my legs. It was like loosing a cilinder. I was kiking pretty hard to maintain position as I slowed my cadence to keep my breathing in check. As I cramped I did not attempt to resolve it since it would mean backtracking so I just left that part of the leg unused and as a passenger. Thank fully my cramps were not stubburn cramps and easily gave in and I had use of the muscle again. It took me 12 minutes to swim 300 meters in that current as I was keeping my time, part of my plan. You keep your time so you can track your progress and if it is even worth the effort of what you are doing. Just one of thoose little things you never forget. By the way I could see my partner in fron so that is why I was so focused on my own set of problems, however I was checking on him periodically. He is a strong swimmer so I felt he was probably better than I was. Thru all of it I kept very calm, no problems. I was not in the best of situations but I wasn't drowning either and its not like I had no more options. i took and option and stuck with it and it worked. I was soon at the beach and relaxing in the water close to it. The other people were unaware of my litlle adventure but we all agreed that the conditions were not good for swiming in them. My situation was bad because of my run before the swim. i was tired and my legs had done the work out of their lives before my swim. In the end it was all OK.
Sunday we went for our long ride. I would call it uneventfull but in fact something really special happened. For months now I have been riding the Dorado route. When you get to the town center you can go in two directions. To the left or straight. To the left is where all cyclist go. It takes you around the city center on a relatively flat course and then on to the hotel road or to the short or long bike courses that are typical for cyclist depending on what they are doing that day. Straight ahead is the terrible hill. I call it that because it is avoided by all yet it stares at you all the time because you turn left right at its lowest pint. The hill as i learnes is about 400 meters and 11 degrees up. All cyclist go around all the time but for me everytime I passed around it was like something to one day beat. It kind of stares at you and to me it even laughs at you. it is like it says "go around you chicken shit or I will tear you apart". Sunday I felt good real good. The group had left me behind so the only way to catch up and even go ahead of them was to climb the hill. As I aproached the bridge right before the hill I wondered if I should even try it. As I approached I kind of imagine that hill just laughing at the fat guy kind of looking away saying "he won't even dare to try it". I mean it was a fantasy but the reality was that the hill was always there and I always went around it. Not sunday. I got a high gear and buid speed as I tackeled the problem head on. As I lost the speed I shifted to low gear, then lower, then lower, in seconds I was on my lowest gear and climbing steady. As I climed I smiled as I felt good going up and over the hill. I slowed my cadence afterwards but I was not terribly drained either. In the end I conquered the hill I climed it with flying colors and I am no longer afraid of it. Actually fron now on everytime I take that route I am climbimg that hill just as a reminder of who is king!!!!! Not bad for 60 days!!!!
Nov, 10 2010 Frustration takes its toll!!!
Unfortunately a familiar episode especially while being trated for cancer. Frustration!!! It takes your breath away, it prevents you from thinking right and it allows all the negative aspects of your life to take over and fuel your imagination. Today I have serious doubts, not of my commitment but of my ability to pull this off. Today was track day. I went out very positive but to make a long story short I just could not run my reps regardless of how hard I tried. It would be dificult for anyone to imagine what it feels like but I will try to explain. As you increase you effort, being running swiming, walking, or whatever phisical activity it is, your muscles need more oxygen to do their work properly. Oxygen is carried by the blood and that is why your heart starts to pump blood thru your system at a faster rate. As this happens you start to breath harder and faster also because you need to take in more oxygen so you can satisfy your muscles demand for oxygen. If and when oxygen supply is not sufficient your muscles will fail in terms of the work they can perform and you would feel weak or lets say you are running you would have to walk or if you are running up stairs you would have to walk or if you are chooping wood you would need a break etc. The combination of breathing and the capacity of the heart to pump the oxygen thru is crutial and if one of them fails or lags behind you will not have the output you requiere or want. Getting in shape is just a way of doing more work with less oxygen. As muscles get used to working at a certain rate they start requiring less oxygen to do the same way. This is measured in the speed of a runner or a cyclist etc. I am sure my explanation is at least somewhat corect but you get the point.
For many years I have been battling with high blood pressure. When you have High blood pressure your heart works harder to satisfy your body of the blood it needs. One thing that happens is that the heart can start to work at a higher rate than normal causing many health risks and since it is working harder it can weaken over time and any high heart rate can cause problems to the person. I take a pill to treat my high blood pressure that works in preventing my heart from raising its rythm regardless of the requierement. In my case about 155-160bpm. No matter my effor my heart would not rise from that number. When I train I have gotten fitter and stronger which means that I can go longer and faster than before just as long as the oxygen requierement is below the need of my heart to pump at 160 bpm or higher. As I do rep work in running or trainer exercises on the bike, my mind says go, and my body which is now stronger feels fine, however as I run I start to breath hard and fast making available all the excess oxygen I need to continue but my HR will remain very low and the heart wil not accelerate to supply the oxygen demand my muscles need. If I keep going I would most likely pass out because my brain which feeds from that same oxygen would be deprived of oxygen and I would go to sleep face first!!!!
I ran today 2 reps of 600 meters which turned out to be 400mts. I could not continue as I was breathing as hard as I could and I was getting the light head. As I looked at my heart rate it was 145-155bpm. I was forced to walk. I summary I ran as hard as I could and my average HR was 130bpm. Needless to say I am extremely frustrated. I had never quited in my life and as I have said before this will not be my start to that. Me of all persons know that Gods will is what really matters but him willing I will do this regardless of the concequence and frankly the more my body screws with my training the harder I will work it.
I stopped taking this pill a week and one day ago. Relax, I am taking my other pills so everything is fine. However I am know thinking and wondering for how long will this effect last in my body and if and when it goes away, will my heart cooperate with the new requierements it will have to meet? These are all questions at this point. In the end all I need for my heart to give me enough speed and power at 140-160 for 17 hours. That is it. Coach K was worried about my frustration more than my condition. He feels pretty confident that we will be fine come race day. I truly trust his judgement so that kind of makes things better. There are things that I control and others I dont this is one of them so it is hard to deal with it.
I have to find away around this rather than thinking it wi go away. In the end if my blood pressure does not cooperate this pill might be in play even as I do the Ironman. That means I have to get fit to the point where I have the necesary speed to complete the event in 17 hours at a heart rate of 155-160bpm maximum. I am no expert but that means that I would have to train longer rather than harder. A wild guess tells me if I will be swiming 3000mts I will have to practice at 9000mts, if I am going to ride 112mile I will have to work at 300miles and so on. In all I need to swim, bike and run, at the minimum speed the cutoffs will allow while not going over 160bpm. Volume and training time will certainly increase dramatically. It will requiere an aditional effort on the part of everyone involved especialy from me. As far as I am concern this is what is all about. I have to get back to a positive thinking mode and very quickly before frustration takes its toll........
For many years I have been battling with high blood pressure. When you have High blood pressure your heart works harder to satisfy your body of the blood it needs. One thing that happens is that the heart can start to work at a higher rate than normal causing many health risks and since it is working harder it can weaken over time and any high heart rate can cause problems to the person. I take a pill to treat my high blood pressure that works in preventing my heart from raising its rythm regardless of the requierement. In my case about 155-160bpm. No matter my effor my heart would not rise from that number. When I train I have gotten fitter and stronger which means that I can go longer and faster than before just as long as the oxygen requierement is below the need of my heart to pump at 160 bpm or higher. As I do rep work in running or trainer exercises on the bike, my mind says go, and my body which is now stronger feels fine, however as I run I start to breath hard and fast making available all the excess oxygen I need to continue but my HR will remain very low and the heart wil not accelerate to supply the oxygen demand my muscles need. If I keep going I would most likely pass out because my brain which feeds from that same oxygen would be deprived of oxygen and I would go to sleep face first!!!!
I ran today 2 reps of 600 meters which turned out to be 400mts. I could not continue as I was breathing as hard as I could and I was getting the light head. As I looked at my heart rate it was 145-155bpm. I was forced to walk. I summary I ran as hard as I could and my average HR was 130bpm. Needless to say I am extremely frustrated. I had never quited in my life and as I have said before this will not be my start to that. Me of all persons know that Gods will is what really matters but him willing I will do this regardless of the concequence and frankly the more my body screws with my training the harder I will work it.
I stopped taking this pill a week and one day ago. Relax, I am taking my other pills so everything is fine. However I am know thinking and wondering for how long will this effect last in my body and if and when it goes away, will my heart cooperate with the new requierements it will have to meet? These are all questions at this point. In the end all I need for my heart to give me enough speed and power at 140-160 for 17 hours. That is it. Coach K was worried about my frustration more than my condition. He feels pretty confident that we will be fine come race day. I truly trust his judgement so that kind of makes things better. There are things that I control and others I dont this is one of them so it is hard to deal with it.
I have to find away around this rather than thinking it wi go away. In the end if my blood pressure does not cooperate this pill might be in play even as I do the Ironman. That means I have to get fit to the point where I have the necesary speed to complete the event in 17 hours at a heart rate of 155-160bpm maximum. I am no expert but that means that I would have to train longer rather than harder. A wild guess tells me if I will be swiming 3000mts I will have to practice at 9000mts, if I am going to ride 112mile I will have to work at 300miles and so on. In all I need to swim, bike and run, at the minimum speed the cutoffs will allow while not going over 160bpm. Volume and training time will certainly increase dramatically. It will requiere an aditional effort on the part of everyone involved especialy from me. As far as I am concern this is what is all about. I have to get back to a positive thinking mode and very quickly before frustration takes its toll........
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Oct. 28, 2010 When you least expected, Whammm!!!!
Sometimes your expectations are met faster than you might think and you are suprised! I was operated on my eye soon after I arrived in Miami. I can't remember the date and can only remember three things from the whole proccess. I remember lying down on the bed and a young nurse walks in. She was pregnant and was very nice. She gives me an injection and even before she leaves the room I am in the "other side". I woke up who knows how many hours later and I was tied to the bed. I was kind of programed that I would have a huge eye patch covering my eye. So the other thing I remember was being coverd in pee. Yes pee, I felt myself wet imediatly after I woke up. The nurse, who I have no idea what she looked like came by as I called her and she recognized I was coming back to my senses. I remember she told me I was tied and I told her I was ok and to please untie me. She fell for it!!!! I said it in a soft form not to draw suspision and in my state coming out of anestesia it must have been instinctive. However as soon as she untied me I went right for what they were preventing. I ripped that patch right out and covered my left eye. I can see.... and no black spot either! I was happy as can be. In retrospect I was actually desperate to see if I still had my eye in there, so after I figured that it was there I got back to my anesthetic, relaxed state. I learned later that the tumor had been sent to Huston for analisis and that it was in fact in contact with my optic nerve. Dr. Tse decided to save my vision and leave the piece that was ahired to my optic nerve and live to deal with that another day. I was happy as can be. The next month was a waiting game as they took that long to figure it out. Meanwhile the tumor grew back and my vision was blurred again. Finally the results and the famous meeting afterwards. Frankly at that point I was more worrried as to when I would get rid of that blurred vision and I honestly expected to take a long time. 8 days into my first cycle of chemo I got my vision back and the blurr was gone. I was not expecting that but I was glad. Actually I though that no more chemo was needed and I felt like I just gained a year back. As it turns out it didn't worked that way and the rest is history. For now I will only say this, but very soon I will talk about salvation and the miracale which I was fortunate enough to recieve. I will dedicate a page to that, and I will also talk about false prophets and the business of the church. Part of me lives in total disgust as to how religion is practiced in some places they call "of God" and some men and women who call themselves Gods children or sons or what ever. I don't question God's work but I am still trying to find the reason he made so many succers!!! But more on that later.
Today was a swiming/running day. I had a 30 min run after my swim. I was indeed feeling very good and strong today. In the past days I had a talk with Coach K and among other things I had told him how worried I was regarding my running. I said all along I would not question my coach and I did not, I will remain true to that, but I felt stuck and I needed to address the issue. We talked for about 1/2 hour as he explained to me what was going on with me at this point and what I should expect. He was 100% right. Everything he told me was right on and all the changes were indeed happening. He also told me to be paitient and well I agree but I am who I am and I think he knows that by now so we can figure things out pretty well. I was not content with my coversation regarding my run, but I was convinced that Coach K was right and I should do what he was telling me. He told me among other things that it will get better with time and to take it easy. Ok we will try it his way!!! I do my after swim runs on a board walk that crosses from the city park all the way to the financial district (Parque Central to Hato Rey). About half the distance there is a road barrel. Like the ones used in road construction. I marks a huge hump on the side walk and I guess it was placed there for safety reasons and let people know to be careful in that area. That barrel and me have a history. It so happens that since I started doing that route I could always either reach the barrel or barely reach it before I had to turn back. I run 15 minutes out and then come back for the other 15 minutes. The barrel was sort of like a landmark for me but in the past weeks I had to push to reach it and then pay the price on the way back by having to rest or walk. Today, as I was walking out of the pool for my run I caught up with Alexandra as she was also on her way out for her run. A couple of other guys joined but they were staying inside the park and as I shared what my route was Alexandra joined the idea and said she would run that route also. So we got our watches ready and took off for our run. Alexandra and me......yeah right. So much for a partner, it was like just watching her go into the wind. Our run together lasted I would say all of 10 seconds before she was out of screaming range, but in my defense I could still see her up front and tell it was her. Anyway I concentrated on my run and kept my pace confortable but at a pace I had to work for. I continued for about 11 minutes until.....yes!!! you guessed, I greeted my good old friend the barrel and I still had 4 minutes to go. I was smiling because I felt really good and knew I could keep on running. In the end I must have placed a good 800 meters between me and that barrel before I had to get back. I turned around and extremely soon Alexandra passed by on her way back. I tried to lure her into stopping a minute for water but she did not bite and before I knew it she was once again only a distant person running in the same direction. I kept my pace and ran all the way back no resting or walking. Final toll was 2.44 miles in 30 minutes. That is a lot more than 2.12 miles I did last week on the same run. So what does this mean!! Coach was right, I have to be patient and all things will come together. I still have a long way to go and progress is slow in the running department but I am making lots of progress. I will do my long run tomorrow and I am shooting for another 50 miler on saturday on the bike. As it happened with my eye I was truly caught by surprise in the way I ran today and the way I am now able to run however short distance it is. I didn' expect this to happen today but whammmm it did and I am thrilled about it.
Today was a swiming/running day. I had a 30 min run after my swim. I was indeed feeling very good and strong today. In the past days I had a talk with Coach K and among other things I had told him how worried I was regarding my running. I said all along I would not question my coach and I did not, I will remain true to that, but I felt stuck and I needed to address the issue. We talked for about 1/2 hour as he explained to me what was going on with me at this point and what I should expect. He was 100% right. Everything he told me was right on and all the changes were indeed happening. He also told me to be paitient and well I agree but I am who I am and I think he knows that by now so we can figure things out pretty well. I was not content with my coversation regarding my run, but I was convinced that Coach K was right and I should do what he was telling me. He told me among other things that it will get better with time and to take it easy. Ok we will try it his way!!! I do my after swim runs on a board walk that crosses from the city park all the way to the financial district (Parque Central to Hato Rey). About half the distance there is a road barrel. Like the ones used in road construction. I marks a huge hump on the side walk and I guess it was placed there for safety reasons and let people know to be careful in that area. That barrel and me have a history. It so happens that since I started doing that route I could always either reach the barrel or barely reach it before I had to turn back. I run 15 minutes out and then come back for the other 15 minutes. The barrel was sort of like a landmark for me but in the past weeks I had to push to reach it and then pay the price on the way back by having to rest or walk. Today, as I was walking out of the pool for my run I caught up with Alexandra as she was also on her way out for her run. A couple of other guys joined but they were staying inside the park and as I shared what my route was Alexandra joined the idea and said she would run that route also. So we got our watches ready and took off for our run. Alexandra and me......yeah right. So much for a partner, it was like just watching her go into the wind. Our run together lasted I would say all of 10 seconds before she was out of screaming range, but in my defense I could still see her up front and tell it was her. Anyway I concentrated on my run and kept my pace confortable but at a pace I had to work for. I continued for about 11 minutes until.....yes!!! you guessed, I greeted my good old friend the barrel and I still had 4 minutes to go. I was smiling because I felt really good and knew I could keep on running. In the end I must have placed a good 800 meters between me and that barrel before I had to get back. I turned around and extremely soon Alexandra passed by on her way back. I tried to lure her into stopping a minute for water but she did not bite and before I knew it she was once again only a distant person running in the same direction. I kept my pace and ran all the way back no resting or walking. Final toll was 2.44 miles in 30 minutes. That is a lot more than 2.12 miles I did last week on the same run. So what does this mean!! Coach was right, I have to be patient and all things will come together. I still have a long way to go and progress is slow in the running department but I am making lots of progress. I will do my long run tomorrow and I am shooting for another 50 miler on saturday on the bike. As it happened with my eye I was truly caught by surprise in the way I ran today and the way I am now able to run however short distance it is. I didn' expect this to happen today but whammmm it did and I am thrilled about it.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Oct. 26, 2010 Not all days are bad days.
Today has been a day full of acomplishments and I can not forget the good days. I used to take my chemo for 5 days in a row and then would rest for two weeks. I have said that after my first five days I went to Miami beach and partied till 4:00am, no problem. But that was not the case always. As I progressed in my treatment it got worse. In the biggining by the third or fourth day I was feeling well again, but by the end it took all two weeks to get better. After day 7-14 after chemo my white blood count would drop and then it was a visit for a few days to the hospital. It is ironic that I actually liked the hspital visits. Why, simple it got me out of my room and I could see and talk to diffrent people including Rodrigo and Casandra. It was like a weekend away. Mom would always stay until about 9:00pm and would arrive by my side at 7:00am sharp. Sone times my adoptive grandma Dulce would stay with me so mom could run some errands or rest a little. I was always with someone and we had a lot of peacefull time. I was tough I went thru a lot trying to get better quickly only to get more chemo and kill the SOB that was bothering me. Remember the Rodney King verdict and the riots? I saw every minute of it in TV live even when that truck driver was hit in the head with the brick. Dr. B sat with me that night as we watched the coverage. I can't talk much about him because I get emotional but no question that he was sent to make sure I pulled thru that desease. He was all about medicine and little of nothing else. He probably had all the money he ever needed and it matter very little to him. He did very little for me while on the hospital it was really a waiting game more than anything but he always came to see me and we talked a litlle bit. He some times sent me home earlier and some times he was tough and made sure I was were I was supposed to. After my last chemo I ended up in the hospital for 10 days. I was so weak I could not walk to the bathroom to pee. He came in and I told him I felt like I was diying. He explained to me that I had no blood or something like that because of the chemo. I asked him to transfuse me. He said I had gutted chemo for 13 months with out a single transfution and that being this the last chemo he felt I could make it back on my own. My next two days were very dificult but indeed I made it thru my tratment without a single blood transfution. During chemo you have your bad days but you also have good days, it is all about what days turn is today.
Today is a good day as it turns out. I ran 30 minutes yesterday as my body was screaming for some action. I called coach K in the afternoon and we discussed some training issues and future steps. Today I went for my swim and a very intresting trainer ride. As you know that machine and me do not mix. However it is part of the deal so I have to work with the issue. After we were done I cought up with an old frined. Actually the old friend who suggested I kept this blog of my training and my experience. He appeared out of nowhere and I have not seen him in a while. I talked to him a little bit and his support is as always incredible. I truly felt like he was placed there to check up on me, and I was really glad to see him. A few minutes latter he left as he was in the midddle of his run not knowing how important our brief conversation is to me. Jay thank you you are great supporter and friend.
During my training one of the people I met is a young woman by the mane of Alexandra. Alexandra has a magnificent sense of fashion, which for me means that she can match colors. She has a pink bike with matching outfits and pink running shoes which also matches her outfits. So...naturally speaking Gabriela was magnetized by the fashion sense of her "twin" fashion soul. Gabriela is very carismatic so in a short time Alexandra and Gabriela became friends and "girly" partners. Alexandra is an avid cyclist and runner and for a few weeks now my swiming lane partner. I learned a few weeks ago that Alexandra wanted to do Ironman Canada, and so we became training partners. Good and bad!!!! Good because I have someone to do my training with and we will be sharing the journey together. She will be able to push my limits, and bad because this girl is in shape. Basically in that department I am screwed except in the water where I am still holding my own but I concede that it is probably a matter of time before she kicks my ass in that department also. Regardless, she has a super positive attitude towards training, one that is contagous and that is going to be something I will need. She has not figured me out yet but I know eventually she will. She will eventually realize just how commited to this event I am and she will probably learn just how far I am willing to go to acomplish this. Why is this relevant? Because today I just got word that Alexandra has formilized her entrance spot to Ironman Canada and will be joining me in the race of our lives. I have no clue if she has read this blog at all or what her personal motivations are. In reality it should not matter to anyone as long as she thinks and beliefs that they are worthy. Alexandra, along with other people that are very important we will cross the finish line, we will shed tears of joy, we will make a few more people aware of cancer and will influence some to contribute along with my friend Winter in finding the cure, believe me, we will make it. I can't teach you much about being an athlete, I have never been one, but I can teach you a thing or two about getting a job done no matter the obstacles in your way. Some of them we will move aside, some of them we will go over them and some of them we will plain and simple get rid of them. All you have to do is believe!!!!! ..............and training also helps!!!!
So folks it has been a good day full of good news and looking forward. Training is hard but as the saying goes, Not all days are bad days.
Today is a good day as it turns out. I ran 30 minutes yesterday as my body was screaming for some action. I called coach K in the afternoon and we discussed some training issues and future steps. Today I went for my swim and a very intresting trainer ride. As you know that machine and me do not mix. However it is part of the deal so I have to work with the issue. After we were done I cought up with an old frined. Actually the old friend who suggested I kept this blog of my training and my experience. He appeared out of nowhere and I have not seen him in a while. I talked to him a little bit and his support is as always incredible. I truly felt like he was placed there to check up on me, and I was really glad to see him. A few minutes latter he left as he was in the midddle of his run not knowing how important our brief conversation is to me. Jay thank you you are great supporter and friend.
During my training one of the people I met is a young woman by the mane of Alexandra. Alexandra has a magnificent sense of fashion, which for me means that she can match colors. She has a pink bike with matching outfits and pink running shoes which also matches her outfits. So...naturally speaking Gabriela was magnetized by the fashion sense of her "twin" fashion soul. Gabriela is very carismatic so in a short time Alexandra and Gabriela became friends and "girly" partners. Alexandra is an avid cyclist and runner and for a few weeks now my swiming lane partner. I learned a few weeks ago that Alexandra wanted to do Ironman Canada, and so we became training partners. Good and bad!!!! Good because I have someone to do my training with and we will be sharing the journey together. She will be able to push my limits, and bad because this girl is in shape. Basically in that department I am screwed except in the water where I am still holding my own but I concede that it is probably a matter of time before she kicks my ass in that department also. Regardless, she has a super positive attitude towards training, one that is contagous and that is going to be something I will need. She has not figured me out yet but I know eventually she will. She will eventually realize just how commited to this event I am and she will probably learn just how far I am willing to go to acomplish this. Why is this relevant? Because today I just got word that Alexandra has formilized her entrance spot to Ironman Canada and will be joining me in the race of our lives. I have no clue if she has read this blog at all or what her personal motivations are. In reality it should not matter to anyone as long as she thinks and beliefs that they are worthy. Alexandra, along with other people that are very important we will cross the finish line, we will shed tears of joy, we will make a few more people aware of cancer and will influence some to contribute along with my friend Winter in finding the cure, believe me, we will make it. I can't teach you much about being an athlete, I have never been one, but I can teach you a thing or two about getting a job done no matter the obstacles in your way. Some of them we will move aside, some of them we will go over them and some of them we will plain and simple get rid of them. All you have to do is believe!!!!! ..............and training also helps!!!!
So folks it has been a good day full of good news and looking forward. Training is hard but as the saying goes, Not all days are bad days.
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