August 30th 2011 Live life like there is no tomorrow!!!

It was early November and I finally hear the words I have been waiting for.  “Alberto you can go home, I will see you in 6 months for your follow up check up”.  As I left the clinic that morning I was very happy but no celebration took place.  It was expected.  I was then cancer free and that was all that mattered.  I beat the odds.  I Survived and lived on.  That was the important thing.  I went home only to find myself lonely, like in the middle of the ocean.  Sure I had Julissa and my friends and most important my family but now what?  It was time to get on with life, perhaps get a job and maybe start a family.  Thing people look forward to as I did.  However there was always that part where every single future plan even a day ahead was plagued with “what if it comes back again”.  It was fear, it was horror, it was many things but no matter how confident you are that you can beat it, you respect it and most of all you fear it.  You have that fear every day and every hour until it becomes part of you and in my case I carried it for 20 years.  20 years later I still fear it but I have found the confidence to not let it be a factor or control my life anymore.  That confidence is what the Ironman gave me, that is the end result of my race and my training, that is the new and improved me.

So, I could not finish the Ironman.  I always said shit happens and it sure did but I was ready to accept any outcome.   I had always written that God created everything in balance and that life was just a fragile balancing act.  Want proof.  Here you have it.  I rehearsed many times and cried many times as I imagined crossing the finish line.  I wanted it so much I could taste it.  What I never rehearsed was the dark solitary side of the road at mile 15 of the marathon where I would end up forced to surrender my race and what I have worked so hard for, the finish line.  For him, it was not about the line, it was about changing me and that meant testing my most remarkable asset.  My character.  It has taken me far in life both good and bad but it has been the one thing that makes me who I am.  Sunday night he taught me the only lesson that remained in this process.  Character is not equal to success, as you must equally have character to accept defeat and to accept that things are not always going to be what you expect or prepare for, even as your determination is unbreakable.  He gave me 130 miles to think about it, he was generous and when the time came he made his presence known and I was ready for the test.

I started my race in perfect fashion.  I was physically perfect.  Nothing was wrong, nothing.  I felt strong, my feet were perfect and by the way I never had a single ache on my feet all race long they were perfect.  As we lined up I was enjoying what was happening, it was an experience by itself just looking at 3000 athletes ready to take on such an amazing task.  We had a team prayer and then positioned ourselves as coach K told us.  Obviously the elites at the front and me somewhere in the middle.  I was there to race not for brunch.  Within 3000 people, I found an open spot about 30 feet around, and I just kneeled on the water and talked to him.  I thank him, and I said, let it be what you wish.  Off we go.  I found fairly clear water pretty quickly but as always I felt awful the first 800 mts or so.  I could not get my rhythm but hey what’s new?  I felt like I was struggling but kept going.  By the time I reached the mile marker I was feeling pretty good and by the time I reached the half way mark I was there just in my programmed time.  So, on my way back I was smooth and in perfect shape.  Plan was a 1:20 swim I stood up at 1:20:23 but I marked 1:21 because I had to wait for the line to move across.  Perfect.  My transition was uneventful and as planned actually 2 minutes better but I was still wobbling from the swim.  I got on my bike and by mile 2 I was a rocket.  I felt great.  As I said I had to watch my speed to stay aerobic but for some reason aerobic was 23-25 miles an hour, So, go baby go.  I flew thru the first 30-40 miles.  On the first climb I was disciplined, got on my climbing gear and up I went no problem.  I was watching my HR all the way and keeping my zone but the road was good and sort of downhill so I took advantage of that.  My problems started right after that first climb.  I was cramping.  Oh no what is this.  I revised my nutrition and my water and I was right on the money but no question my legs were cramping.  So I started drinking as much as I could.  As much as 30-40 oz every 10 miles or so but no relief.  I started then taking more salt but took it easy since I was so worried about the salt intake after my stroke; however it was the only thing I could think about.  As I entered Richter pass (a 6 mile climb) there is small hill to navigate and as I did, it seemed to alleviate my cramping however they returned right after I went up.  A mile down, another station, so I stopped to reload on water.   I drank another bottle while I was there and off I went.  Up we go.  I was cramping the whole way up and at mile 3 of the climb it was so severe I had to get off and walk a little bit to get rid of the cramps.  This would continue to about mile 56.  Here I realized my first mistake.  The special needs bags were not at mile 56 nut 20 more miles down the road.  That meant I had no more nutrition for 30 miles as I had already ran out as planned.  However, I always carry plan B.  I never use it but since the race had aid stations I did not need to carry an extra bottle of water and I was fine at 60 oz. which meant I had an extra bottle holder on the bike and I decided to take a bottle with pedialyte.  The baby drink to help babies when they dehydrate..  Now it just became my life saver.  I started to drink that and actually drank it within 15 minutes.  As I drank this I am still trying to figure out why my cramping.  I knew I was not dehydrated so it must be salt.  Having no other answer I popped 2 salt pills and drank them down with the pedialyte.  20 minutes latter as I was on my way to the special needs bags I was finally fine and my cramps went away so I was right, it was salt.  It felt eternal but I finally got to my bag and my replenishments.  I found a little spot away from the sun and quickly replenish everything including pedialyte and had a sandwich.  I changed my socks and I felt pretty good.  As I am coming out of the bathroom one of the volunteers points at me and says, “hey buddy you are bleeding are you OK”.  As I wiped my nose I saw I was bleeding.   I just said I was fine and kept walking.  He offered assistance but I just told him I was fine and that it always happened.  Obviously not true.  I had a pretty bad nose bleed and I knew exactly why.  At that moment I could only remember my mother and how much she would suffer if something happened there because of my blood pressure but there was no way I was going to pay attention to that at that moment so even as I was concerned I got back on my bike and rode away.  At this point I was drained; something took over where I was slow and without energy but kept on ridding as I could.  The next 16 miles would be up hill and by mile 95 I was cramping again.  I took the last two salt pills I had and ran out.  By mile 100 I was cramping again and had to get off the bike and walk the rest of the hill up.  So as we say, I blew up. From mile 102 it would be down hill and so I went as fast as I could.  BTW somewhere after the Special Needs bag I was stung by a bee on my left thigh.  How crazy is that!!!  As I return to town I started to prepare for the marathon. Other than the cramping which would go away if walking I felt pretty good by then.  I changed my uniform, refreshed and took on 2 slices of pizza and lots of water.  I was in the tent by 9:20 but my plan was 9:00.  I was running by 9:30 which meant a 7:30 marathon which is well within my reach.  As I start my run I felt as always with the brick legs so I started as planned on a 1 minute walk and a 1 minute run which would go on for about 1 mile.  By mile one I had my legs back and I felt perfect.  I was still a little winded so I continued on a 1 and 1 pace hoping to increase to 2 and 1 by mile 3 or 4.  At mile 1 ½ I saw Julissa at the side and stopped to kiss her and told her I would see her in a while as I kept on going.  As I crossed mile 3, past the water station,  the end begun.  The unthinkable, the thing I had forgotten about.  Yep…….Blisters!!!!!  It was my left foot.  I felt it and I knew it was coming but it was not quite there yet.  I was ready, as I had creams and blister shields which I was caring.  I stopped by the side of the road and greased up real good my foot.  As I got back on the road and started running again it felt worse so I started to walk, I still had time.  I was moving too.  I kept on trying to run but as I did, I could feel I was punching on it every step.  So I started protecting it but the only way to that was walking.  This went on for 12.8 miles.  With the turnaround just around the corner I started to worry about the time.  I had been doing calculations all the way and I was good but would have to maintain the pace or run some more.  I had decided that on the way back I would run the down hills and walk the rest.  That should be enough.  By mile 12.8 my biggest fear just materialized I am now hurting on my right foot.  I started walking on the side of my feet as I knew the special needs bag was right at the corner and I had everything I needed to fix my feet right there.  I made it past the mat in 3:36  with 3:54 to go on the race meaning a 5 minute stop to fix my feet and a 3:36 going back meant 13 minutes to spare which I for sure I would need to take care of my feet along the route.  I sat down, changed my socks, got my recovery drink ready, and got my feet ready to go in 4 minutes.  I checked the blisters and although they hurt the skin was still attached so I was in good shape.  So I am back on the road and walking fast.  At this point I am feeling strong and moving at about 15:45/mile which was very good.  As I pass the mile 14 marker I continue to calculate and felt pretty good about it.  Still moving at close to 16 minute miles I looked at my watch and it was 8:36.  At this point I could feel it.  If I made it to mile 16 by 9:00 I would be an Ironman no question about it.  However other plans were in the making.  As I started to climb about 1 ¼ miles from mile 16 I started feeling my right foot getting worse.  One step, two step, three step and boom!!!!!  A sharp lightning of pain ran up my leg all the way thru my spine to my head.  There it is the skin on my right foot just let go and broke creating a very big blister on my right foot.  As this happened there was an official motorcycle a few steps ahead and they had a flashlight.  I asked the official for the flashlight and took off my sock.  As I saw that blister I knew I was in real trouble.  I put on the sock and the shoe back on and continued to walk in real pain as I could no longer protect the left foot with the right foot as they are now both blistered.  I looked at my watch and set the pace.  I paced as fast as I could while tolerating the pain but pain was not the important thing it was not breaking off the skin on the left foot which is now protecting the right foot. So the best I could do while limping was about 18:15-18:20 per mile with 11 1/4 miles to go.  It is now 8:54PM.  I will continue to move for another 11 minutes trying everything possible to find a way.  Even to run.  By 9:06PM I was more than 10 3/4 miles from the finish line with less than 3:00 hours to make it back.  I made the calculation at least a dozen times but at a pace of 18:00/mile I will fall short by about a mile of the finish line or 15 minutes or so of the cutoff time.  I knew I had hills to go up and my feet will deteriorate as I walked along.  It was then I knew my Ironman was over.

I sat on the side of the road as I could just cry in disappointment.  I was heartbroken.   I sat there and thank him for allowing me to go for 130 miles and for everything he has done for me.  After a while  I was at peace as I understood what he wanted.  I understood where the balance was.  It was not about getting to the lights and celebration, it was about character.  It was about having the character to accept defeat on the side of the road 11 miles from the finish line.  That is what at least this Ironman was going to be for me.  I was ok.  Very Ok.  I understood.  What will happen next I have not even told Julissa?  I have not told anyone and frankly I was kind of wanting to keep it to myself.  But I have just received such an enormous amount of support from everyone that it is only fair I tell you how did my Ironman truly ended.

One of the most disappointing things in the Ironman event is when you do not make the cutoff or drop out of the race.  It is then an official asks you for your timing chip.  It is then when your race is truly over. Well, as I sat on the road some volunteers came to keep me company and some officials came by and asked this and that.  I was expecting someone to ask me for my chip but I still had it and no one had asked for it even as I told them I was done. I asked all of them to let me use their phone as I wanted to call Julissa and let her know what was happening but for some reason and even as I said the same thing to all of them, none either wanted to let me use it or did not have one, or had no battery.  About 25 minutes after another official rides up to me.  They are all very nice.  This was a young guy about my age or younger.  By now I am getting cold so the effects of 130 miles are taking their toll and I am very slow moving or getting up.  As he asks me if I was Ok I started crying again as I told him I was fine just heartbroken and disappointed as I was doing the event as a cancer survivor and for athletes for a cure.  Immediately he got off his bike and sat beside me.  He asked again if I was a cancer survivor and I said yes.  He gave some very encouraging words even as I realized why he was there so I asked him.  You are here for my chip right?  His answer I will never forget.  “Yes I need your chip but I will also tell my friend who was diagnosed with cancer last week that I just met a cancer survivor that just did an Ironman with heart and soul until his feet could not carry him any longer.  I know he would look forward to that in the future.”  His name was Walter.   Funny thing is I cannot describe Walter.  Yes like that.  I can describe the two volunteers that stayed with me, the officials that passed by and even the car I was transported to the aid station.  But not Walter.  He was actually the only one that was riding alone and what caught my attention was that he was not wearing a reflective vest either.  I cannot remember what the volunteers were doing while he sat beside me.  Its like a time lapse.  I was with the volunteers before he showed up then it was only him and me and then the volunteers again.   Before people say that I am either crazy of full of shit I will leave it at that but the truth of it that the only person I talked to and the only person I looked in the eyes, and the person that spent the most amount of time with, I cannot describe except that a picture pops in my head every time I try to describe him except for his age.   The picture I leave to your imagination.  He got on his motorcycle and drove away leaving me with the two volunteers as the support car just drove up.  These guys are trained on delivering bad news but I prefer to think Walter was genuine.  Actually I will forever know who Walter was, as I knew he would not leave me by the side of that road alone and disappointed.  I am sure he came by to make sure I understood that character was more important than a medal regardless of what that medal stands for.  My chip was not found as they were searching for it at the medical tent and I told them Walter took it.  Apparently he had to scan it to inform I was out of the race but at least at that time 2 hours later that had not happened.  You figure out the rest but I rather live with a smile on my face that my chip never made it back!!!!!

I did it.  I did the unthinkable.  My coach turned a sloppy fat guy into at least a half athlete.  To him I say I had the distance no question about it.  I was ready.  I need feet to get there but we will find a way and I will get my Ironman somehow someday.  The lessons learned, to me by far will exceed any event in history.  To my friends and teammates I can only say thank you from the bottom of my heart, to my readers I must say I love you all for following what has been a transformation of mind and soul, and to Winter I can only say, mission accomplished as we raised 80,000 for cancer research and don’t worry my Ironman will come soon.

Finally I truly and from my heart appreciate your comments about me being an Ironman regardless of what transpired and I know I am and I feel that way.  However the event, the sport and the people that accomplish such an amazing event deserve all the admiration and respect that the Ironman for so long has endured and signifies.  Even as you can feel it and even as me being an Ironman in so many ways, Kenneth, Carlos, Raul, Jose, Frank, Diane, Manny, Pepe, Julio, Chewi, Georgie, and Henry you guys are true Ironmans.  Congratulations and it was a privilege racing and training with you guys.

Life is about balance life is about believing not only in yourself but in someone that is there to protect you and guide you.  You must accept the bad and you must remember and cherish the good.  In summary life is very short so, LIVE LIFE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW

Aug, 26, 2011 I am Ready

WOW!!!  Now I am nervous as I can get.  But don't get me wrong I am having fun and peacefull.  Very Peacefull.  I can no longer look at the past, as I can only move ahead.  Its not that I don't remember y just want to let it be.  I am so ready for this it is not funny!!!  I am starting to believe, I am starting to get that feeling right before you are about to face the enemy, the feeling where nothing can stop you.  That is where I am.  A changed man no question.  I wish you would all be in my head and see just how I think today and just how much I have healed.  Julissa said yesterday "I wish I could be inside of you to see what you see"  refering to my vision but I now she knows I am not the same man she married today 16 years ago.

Just to prove how ready I am mentally.  Ironman requiered a vision test before the event to make sure I could race safely.  I went into the clinic and as I have done many times befor in an instant I memorized the letter chart and waited for the Doc. to come in and do her thing.  Remember you must adapt and if you want something you must pursue it by any means necesary.  Test results.?????  20/20 out of the cancer eye and 20/25 out of the stroke eye.  Not bad for a "blind man" is it......................................  What you though I was going to let something like that prevent me from doing the Ironman.  Yeah right.....................................

I tested my bike yesterday and except for my fron wheel everything is working perfectly.  I had problems pacing that is for sure as I did about 22-23 MPH average on a 12 mile run yesterday.  That is bad because that is far from my race pace.  I need to control my pace or I will for sure blow up.  My gearing was working to perfection I just kept on going and did not feel comfortable any slower, but that has to change come race day .  So I will practice again tomorrow focusing strictly on maintaining race pace at 17-19 MPH.  I have a problem with my front tire which is loosing air pressure.  The tire is brand new and never ridden so I am hoping it is just the valve.  I tried to find just in case a similar tire here but no chance so maybe plan B will have to be implemented but I hope not.  It is cooler here so I can run higher pressures that will help me along the way.  It is a serious problem at the moment but I will get it fixed in time and most important I will regain trust in my bike again which at the moment I do not have.  I need to be sure I can trust my equipment to perform during the race I am relying on that so I has to happen.  I will fix it no problem.

Today a light swim and a route check on the bike rout.  Today I will for the first time have a look at the feared Richters Pass and Yelow Lake hills.  It really don't matter I am planning on conquering both.

Lats night I was recognized at the Team Newton dinner party.  Mr Jerry Lee had some words for the team regarding me that just brought out the best in me.  Here is a global running shoe company talking about me center stage.  I am not only humbuled but I am very satisfied.  I did my part and I would do it again and again and again.  However a little bit of bad news.  I was planning in crossing the finish line with the pros you know 8-9 hours :):):):):).  However Jerry Lee cofounder of Newton Running invited me last night to cross the finish line with him at around 16 hours 45 seconds.  Jerry Lee a cancer survivor like myself asked me to do that?   Absolutely YES!!!!!!!!  We will hopefully cross together and celebrate forever no question.

I saw Winter yesterday.  Yes, Winter the little 13 year old girl who inspired me to do this along with Jochi.  We sat to talk about her next events and that type of stuff but nothing really important.  As we did that I could just look at her and see what it is that she will get acomplished in life and the help she would bring to cancer victims.  I had little words as I got emotional.  I stood up hugged her, kissed her and told her how much I loved her.  She probably has no idea what se has done for me but I know some day she will realize just how inocent daring me to do an Ironman really was.  I is a priviledge to be able to call that little girl, my friend.

So, light swim today in the lake and off to fix my front wheel.  Trust me folks this one will be memorable.
I am ready!!!!

No time to proof read or correct so sorry for the mis spelled words!!!!!

August 22, 2011. 2.4 swim, 112 miles on the bike, 26.2 miles running, Braging rights for life!!!!!!

It was now late October and if I can recreate the dates aplied to today, Friday was my last chemo injection!!!!!  At this point I was done with the treatment but not yet finished.  1 weeks left.  My life was horrible by now I am so deteriorated even as chemo stoped 3 days ago I can't stop throwing up.  I can't hold anything.  By now I can' stand the taste of Orabge Crush and I am jus miserable.  7 days after, Friday, I will go into the hospital with a fever and will remain there for 9 days.  My blood counts will almost dispear and I would eventually have dificulty moving from my bed to the chair.  Dr. B had gone on a very rare vacation and left another Dr. incharge.  But Dr. B was always Dr.B.  As the Dr. explained to me what was happening I told him I felt like I was dying.  He told me if it was under any other circumstance he would tranfuse me but he also said Dr. B explained to him that I went 13 months with out a single transfution and gave orders to only tranfuse me as a last resort.  I will never forget his words....."you just endured your last chemo, ever, you need to recuperate on your own, and you have to fight.  In a couple of days you will start to get better on your own."  OK........  This sucks but it was also very true.  So, it was a waiting game only won by time.  So I started to fight.  It was not particularly hard, it was all based on the light at the end of the tunnel which by now I could see.  They are not going to make me any sicker so I just need to fight this off and I can only get better.  I needed help to go to the bathroom, I could not eat, and I was in constant pain in my joints.  I was basically lifeless except my mind worked and was at war.  This went on for 3 days until by day 4 I started feeling better.  By day 9 I was out of the hospital and guess what I was doing.  Yep......Going home PERMANENTLY and Cancer FREE.  Soon after, I had hair again and by the day, I was getting stronger as I tried to start my life back again.  With in 2 months I was "normal" again at least phisically and only the scar in my eye was visible. However upon time I learned how truly marked I was by what happened to me.  It was not that evident and it took I would say about 19 years to figure evrything out.  But hey, I guess the important part is figuring it out regardless of time.  I became content with many things and I started questioning most other things, like fitness to be exact.  I mean when I got my cancer I was fit as a rock.  Food, well I have always eaten a lot of crapy food but in the end I would not eat anything fat free, or cholesterol free, or diet nothing.  I just have this belief thoose things cause cancer.  But then again I smoked until 4 years ago.  That was smart, really smart.  Don't eat and whole wheat bread couse it would give you cancer, instead smoke a pack of Malboro Lights each day.  Frankly I should have goten the stuipid award........yearly.  In the end it just goes to prove how wrong I was and how much of an idiot I became.  It was all a hidding place just something to say or someone to blame.  Even as I accepted my miracle and my second chance at life I made every effert to destry it as much as I could, but eventually I changed.  They say time changes everythings and heals all wounds.  It is true.

I needed a reason, a purpose and most importantly a goal.  I found it in my son's passion, God placed it right in my face last year in Orlando when I met Winter, and then he backed it up with a great training coach and a super training group.  At this point I am right there 1 week form the big event. 1 weeks until it is all over or maybee until it all begins.  I always said I needed to heal and to sort things out.  Get my anger out and feel the burn again.  All that has been acomplished in so many ways.  But then again, it is not a free a ride.  See. you can lie to yourself but you can not lie to him.  Yes to him.  The one always by my side.  The one who protects me and the one that guides me thru.  The one that teaches me, and the one that heals me.  He expects nothing in return , but demands perfection and even as you can't see him you can always feel his precence and his power.  Yes, I am talking about God.  My mentor and companion everywhere I go.  What, you though all that has happened to me was just bad luck.  No.  No way.  He tested me, he wanted to know how comited I was to changing and accepting what he KNOWS is best, even if that is not what I expect or like.  He will not give me a free ticket, not a chance, he was the first to say.  "Ironman, Ok lets just see how much you really want to change, lets just see how much you really want to make a diffrence, lets just see how much you are willing to endure to serve my name because this is not a test, it is my plan for you, and your purpose within the delicate balance of life".

So, here we are 1 week away.  Guess what?  He is never wrong!!!!!  With in a year, I have transformed my body from, well, no need to go there, to something that resembles normality, my kids have understood and practice daily their willignes to help people in need, they understand the fragile balance of life and how it can end in a heart beat, I could die today and my kids would be ok, for sure, because of their willigness to help others they have earned them the respect and love of many, as a family we have memories that will last a life time, as a father I have the admiration of my kids, as a husband I am the luckiest man in the world, as a son, my mother will see me go from the hospital to the finish line, as a survivor.   I have done my share by raising awareness and by collecting money to kill cancer, and as for me, I have been around very amazing and loving people that have witness how I have changed.  I have heeled my sorrow and my anger, but most important I look to the future and fall in love with life evryday.  They all told me the Ironman was about the training and it was very true.  The finish line is the goal but if you think God was going to place his bet on a line somewhere in Canada you were as wrong as I was.  He already won his event and showed me that although the finish line is my celebration I have already reached it in my heart and I am a better man for it.

So.......Ironman Canada.  I am scared shitless.............  140.6 miles is a long way with out a car.  You are always scared of the unknown and maybe that is what I am going thru.  Don't get me wrong when that cannon goes off I will be race ready and will go for as long as I can.  I will turn my fears into power and determination.  Everything has been done.  I have trained and I am now healing my feet and getting a few final details covered.  We practiced race pace yesterday on the bike and it went well.  I stayed diciplined to my speed and my nutrition which still needs a little discussion but that is why we practice.  I have held the Ironman group (guys that have done an Ironman or elite guys that are training for their first) during practice 60 miles.  I rode with them, obviously strugling at times but yet it was a confidence booster.  Come race day, my race pace will be a lot slower but I will hopefully get there by midnight.  I get such a belonging feeling from thoose guys.  I mean their time is your time as you have seen them work hard in every training session and you just become part of that event's brotherhood where you just want evryone to do well.

Shit happens, all the time.  What will happen race day I have no clue.  I will tell you this.  It has been a true priviledge to train with the people I train and to be involved with a charity and a team like Atheletes for a Cure, Team Newton and Team Winter.  I have no clue what will transpire on Sunday August 28th but I will go for as long as my body will allow me to go and I will make every effort to finish the race as I have so many times promised I will.  However, I am ready to accept any dispointing circumstance with honor and joy.  I have already won in so many ways.

I have done my part for others, so now its time to do it for me and the team that has supported me thru all this time.  So "who do you race for?"  Given I am running for the Prostate Cancer Foundation, I have already done my part.  So.... Who, why?  You know when I was diagnosed with Cancer many people called to give encourouging words of well being and wisdom.  You cherish and apreciate all of them but there are only ones you always remember.  Those are the ones that say "fight and don't give up, you will beat this".  I am dedicating my race to a group.  Yes, to the Coach K Endurance Group.  Let me set it clear, I have recieved support from so many people that it would just be unfair to single out any individual to all I will be for the rest of my life gratefull.  However my training partners, those close to me and my coach I need to recognize by themselves because what they have done for me is nothing close of amazing.  So I will only adreess the coach K group and then a few others. OK...........Ok.

Coach K = My shadow.  You did the unthinkable that was turning me from what I was to what I am.  You got it from day one, understood and participitaed in my reasons.  Coach you transformed me to what I see in the mirror today.  Thank you

Jose Nazar=  Nothing will ever please me more than to see you cross that line in the time we both know you can do.  Man I still remember you from a year ago and I am so glad to have been by your side all the way.  You have been one of the support pilars for this team and for me personally.  Thank you my friend and we will for certain continue on after the ironman.

Carlos Maldonado =  President of the discipline committe.  Getting the support and confidence from an athlete like yourself  goes a very long way.  Longer than you would ever know.  I look up to you and maybee some day I can come close to acomplishing what you for sure will at Ironman Canada.  Goodspeed to you my friend.

You know we all have our countrymen pride and convictions.  These three is what will be representeing the speed our Island is presenting this year at Ironman Canada.  These guy are the elites.  Go Puerto Rico!!!!

Pepe=  President of the hate comitte.  From day 1 you never doubted me and always confirmed that I would do this.  Trust me hearing this from and acomplished Ironman means a lot.  Thank You

Raulito=  I see your confidence and I see your experience in long events and I look at what I can acomplish.  You are true gentleman and a spiritual leader at least for me.  You take God on your bike as I do too and that creats a bond that can not be broken.  The best for you my friend.

Omar=  Always there to train and always there to help.  You are a special human being and I an honored to be your friend and training partner.

Junito=  We have fun and your approach is more like mine (except for the nutrition) which is to have fun doing what we are doing and involving our families.  I hope youre kids pick it up and soon become part of the team.  Thank you my friend.

To the rest of the team and so called "rookies"=  You are all amazing people.  I never imagined I would enjoy so much just watching you guys develop, train and get better.  You have all supported in many ways and you will always remain my teammates.  Team Jochi will continue to support you even as my event is completed.  Thank you.

Nestor=  WOW!!!!!  Just when you think life is one way you meet a guy like this.  You are one of my most important mentors in this sport, you have done it all for me both personally and in the sport.  We both believe in the same things and we bothe agree why we do these things.  I want to remain involved with your friendship after the event and I want to one day imitate evrything that you actually stand for.  It is people like you I want to be sourrounded by.  Thank you from the botttom of my heart.

Kiki= When you are diagnosed with cancer at 21 you think the world crumbles before your very eyes.  It is only when someone takes your hand and says I won't leave you and I am here every step of the way that you realize that fighting is a true option.  20 years ago Julissa did just that and has remained by my side evr since.  Under diffrent circumstances obviously but following the same principle, 4 weeks ago I fell hard.  Really hard.  Julissa as always did what she has always done and was ready to fight and carry me thru except there was one part she could not help me with.  That was the training.  So along you came, none of your business, not your problem, not your event.  But you steped up without hesitation and picked me up from the ground.  You did not care, you did not think about it you just believed in me the same way I did and helped me thru the worst of times.  You gave me what I lacked.  You became my eyes.  How do you repay something like that?  How do you honor someone like that?  I will for the rest of my life try to figure a way.  That is a promise.  I will never forget what you have done and I will foreever be in your debt for your kindness, love and sacrifice.  Although not fisically you will be by my side all 140.6 miles and you will see me cross the finish line hand in hand.  Kiki Thank you!!!!!

Others:

Mary Joe and Jaime=  You never say no to anything you are just always ready for others it is unbelievable.  Because of the confidence i got from you in the run walk system I will hopefully finish the Ironman marathon.  Thank you so much.

Alexandra=  My partner.  You have always been there to inspire confidence you never let me off the hook with the nutrition and you always said "you can".  I will never forget that.  Thank You

Luiso, Mendi, Tato, Kermit, Carola= The elite of the elite.  When someone like one of you says to you, "you can do it" you start to believe that you can.  With out that it is imposible to get where I am.  Thank You.

Last but not least,

Jay=  One year ago you told me to write this blog and document my training.  I followed your advise not knowing what will come out.  What has happened is nothing short of amazing.  The therapy of writting this blog and the healing it has provided while I share my story and my training is nothing short of spectacular.  Your advice has been life changing and I am especially glad that advise came form a friend I have known my whole life.  Thank you my friend!!!!!

AND so this is it.  Everything has been done and everything is ready, no more philosophy it is time to go for it.  Orders are in and it is war time.  2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, 26.2 miles running, BRAGGING RIGHTS FOR LIFE!!!!!!!     Ajuaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

August 5, 2011 Happy Birthday!!! You son of a bitch!!!!!

As I am doing today, 20 years ago I was getting ready for a sporting competition in Miami Fla.  The next 3 weeks after that would change my life for ever as 20 years ago in August I would have a growing tumor in my right eye which will later be diagnosed as a Rabdomiosarcoma of the orbit.  CANCER.  Back then it was a good thing I was already trained by the Military and had learned to perfection the art of turning your fear into power and determination along with a self sense of preserving the most precious thing in the world.  LIFE.  If not maybe I would not be talking to you today.

So.......  20 years later I am here and ready for a big challenge.  Actually huge.  I must tell you that at this point I am in full combat mode and sense of life preservation along with determination.  I have indeed in the past weeks converted my grater fears into the power of determination. 

I will at the end of the event talk in detail about what it is that has transpired in the past weeks.  However I will let you all know this.  I suffered a stroke last Tuesday........  As a consequence it damaged what was my good eye rendering me "legally blind".............................  As I said, I will answer all you questions and thoughts after the event but I will say that the word Cancer has been mentioned quite repeatedly in the past few days.  I want you all to get something very clearly.  In previous posts I said that Cancer was something you knew you had.  It is a physical tumor but it is also a feeling you get.  Friends I am telling you right now. I DO NOT HAVE CANCER.  Period!!!!!!

Although "legally blind", term I am trying to figure out myself the Ironman is a go.  I have been given no limitations as to my training or the event itself.  But having said that I think you all know by now that even if there were limitations I was going on with this, regardless.

I want you all  to know that it took less than a minute to have the support of my teammates for which I am humbled and honored.  Less than a minute after, I had a running partner, a cycling partner but most of all the willingness of several individuals who have trained their asses off to get personal records or times of 12 hours or less in the Ironman, to leave all that behind and serve as my eyes for the event to end up with a time of almost 17 hours.  Many things have touched my heart in my life but few like that.  I now have a running partner, Kiki who has remained by my side ever since my stroke during training.  We have talked about how you turn fear and panic into instinct and how when that happens heroic things take place.  She is practical just as I am so we do our best to train to coach K standard but guess what.  We have more fun than what we really train and that is just perfect for me at this point.  Actually we only have 3 weeks to do what we know would be a memorable thing in the eyes of every Ironman in the Island.  Getting off the bike and coming back home on a PISA Y CORRE.  I believe that is the message I need to pass right now to my team mates.  No, not to come back on a pisa y corre.  The Ironman is an individual sport of great and spectacular accomplishments.  You have all trained very hard and you are all ready to make your dream come true.  Whatever I can or cannot see, will not be a determining factor in weather I finish or not.  However my biggest satisfaction will only be accomplished by being part of your goals being won in your hearts and your souls.  Trust me, in my heart I will make 10 hours or 12 hours, as I will be swimming, riding and running with you guys as we have done for almost a year in practice.  Nothing changes, nothing.  We all train, you finish, and eventually I arrive to wherever we are going.  Nothing changes come event day.

You do not sit idle while life takes a swing.  You better get up and start swinging your self or you will die miserable and alone.  You do not sit down waiting for a doctor to tell you how screwed up you are or when it will all be over.  But most importantly, you NEVER, EVER, let someone tell you what you are capable or not of accomplishing.  I do in fact care about all the things in your minds right now, family, work, money, friendships, kids, etc.  The difference is, I am sure I can overcome any obstacle that is placed in front of me because I have all the love in the world from my family and friends, all the straight in the world because I believe in myself, and all the passion it takes to live life like there is no tomorrow........  And if that does not work, I know how to Blow it up!!!!!

To my training partners and Ironman Partners.  You have been part of something very special in my life and I will forever remember all of you especially the crew for Ironman Canada and Kentuky.  Kiki, in a short time you have become very special to me, thank you.  Thanks to GOD I will not need your eyes but will forever cherish, remember and love your company.  Come race day I will be looking for you as I always do and will see you even if you are not there.  Thank you!!!

Ohhhhh no.  No sir!!!!  I am not done!!!!  Not yet!!!!

To you, my most hated old friend, Cancer.  I must say thank you.  Yes, thank you.  You know I was wondering how I was going to get thru the hard parts of the Ironman since my life has changed so much.  As I have said, I am not angry anymore.  However, you need to know that when it comes to you, I am not that cured either!!!!!!  So ....... you have decided to pretend to show your ugly face again.  Wrong deal, I already killed you once but this time if you decide to show up I promise on my fathers grave that I will fuck you up real nice!!!!  Again!!!.  You need to know that my friends and me have put some money on your head so if I were you, I would buckle up caue it is going to be a rough ride............  By the way, HAPPY 20th  BIRTHDAY YOU SON A BITCH!!!!!!!  I am still here.