Sept. 28, 2010 Catching up is a reward of hard work.

I can see the result of my efforts.  I am indeed getting stronger and fitter by the day.  I no longer feel like the fat guy that always falls behind.  I mean don't get me wrong I am still the last one but not by much anymore and while on the bike I can now hold my own for about 1 hour to 1.5 hours.  The infimous "recovery" is slowly catching its meaning although I must be doing something wrong.  After sunday's ride I was dying to get on the bike again and process all the acid I had.  I had scheduled 40 minutes yesterday.  I took off on the beach route which I thought for sure would be safer because at this time of year I am for sure riding at night.  I had my lights and everything I needed.  By no means I wanted to press the pace so I remained light on the gears and kept my cadence comfortable.  At some points I was doing about 17-18 MPH which was rediculous for me three weeks ago, now it is my recovery speed!!  Who would know.  However my HR was picking up above 135 and I really wanted to keep it below 130.  I slowed down and it took me a while to settle in to the pace.  The road was pretty bad so that did not help at all.  Finally I rode 25minutes up wind and headed back feeling realy good.  After 44 minutes I was back to my car and dismounted.  11 miles are you serious.  That is kids stuff!!!!  Not quite, I might be getting stronger but I am not stupid.  11 Miles was a struggle 2 weeks ago so I decided to stay humble and be happy with my ride.  Despite thinking I did everything right and felt good, falling asleep was a huge challenge.  My legs were hurting like I rode 50 miles and all thru the night I could not figure it out.  By morning I figured that I rode to hard even as it felt really easy.  That means I need to get disciplined on my HR zones and stay there regardless of how slow they are.  I am still questioning the term Recovery but I will make sure to give it a better shot next week.  Today I swam and even having no sleep I felt really good.  I did my practice of 1400 meters no problem.  My technique is better and I feel stronger thru the water.  I am not the slowest of this sport!!!!

The run continues to be my problem.  Even as I know I am getting better running saturday a 12 minute mile I continue to struglle thru.  The swim and the bike were more of a mental challenge than a phisical one but the run is just hard to do.  I have not given up yet and I figure I will get it somehow but I am questioning what I should do about it in the inmediate future.  I feel clumsy and my feet kill me after a while.  I am pretty sure it is the weight.  I don't think the human body was made to run very fast or very long while being severely obese.  I mean how many 247 lbs chubby guys do see in the olimpics.  Maybe in the hammer throw but not in the 100 meter run or the marathon.  I think I am doing pretty good on my weight loss.  I had a target of being 245lbs by the Ironkids in Tampa and today I was 247.  So I am pretty close.  Tomorrow I should be at 146 and by saturday I mught break 245.  I am loosing about 1 pound every 2 days but I kind of misbehave about 1 day a week.  I now automatically leave about 1/3 of whatever I am served.  I do not drink anything but water except on the long rides where I am finding that a coke at about 2 hours helps me thru the rest of the bike ride, I have quit all the sweets and I have not had a Soft & Creamy Ice cream in I forget how long.  I am pretty proud of my progress because it is not sudden but structured and that way I get stronger as I get thinner.  By the way size 44 is oficially too big to wear.  I look like I have pijamas for shirts and the pants fall off, pedriod.  I am officialy a size 42 weist.  So that is 13 punds in 28 days since I am keeping count but remember I am coming from 270 since August 15 which is 23 lbs.  But back to 13 lbs in 28 days.  If I can keep this up when Santa Claus comes december 25th he will be bringing me pants and shirts for a 208 lbs man.  By then I should be ready to get some serious running training and my knees will love it.  That leaves me with 8 months to get in marathon shape.  But since I want to be ready by June 15th that is 5.5 months.  I figure I will somehow make it by december thru 6 miles or an olimpic distance tri.  So I need to whip into shape 20 more miles.  That is a rate of about 4 + miles per month or a mile per week.  It sounds like a lot to me but I will confer with Coach K and see.  The contender half Iron distance looks every day better for a try out.  We will see what happens. 

My Plan is to do my 50 miles saturday morning in Tampa.  Coach K gave me Saturday and Sunday off so I can be a dad at IronKids.  But who are we kidding, my kids are having the time of their lives just to see me suffer thru training.  Coach K if you read this, believe me you and the kids will be better off if I ride saturday.  That would be great and will set the basis for the next three to four weeks.  If by then I can get a solid 50 miles at 14MPH or better I will feel very happy.  In the end it all seems so posible that I am thrilled about my progress.  Don't get me wrong I still have a very long way but for what I have acomplished in these past 28 days I feel awsome.  I no longer feel like the last kid in the competition I am indeed catching up, and that is the reward for my hard work!!!!

Sept. 26, 2010 Give the cat a cookie, and he is going to want a glass of milk!!!

I tried to blog yesterday and spent a good two hours trying.  Just before I started I had visited Team Winters Blog and for the first time saw the videos that were posted including her first triathalon with her mom to honor her dad and do something about cancer.  I could not write anything, I could not get them off my mind and I felt such rage and anger towards this desease again that I just had to go to bed as I have done many times before in 19 years.  I wont talk about the bad I will talk about what those videos meant to me.  This is a family of fighters just like me.  This little girl is just something else and Dawn is just a person like very few will exist.  They converted the negative into a positive and evnthough cancer took one of their members, cancer has not backed them down one inch.  I truly believe it takes some one like me, a survivor, to understand what the dark hours of this familly are really like and to understand what these remarkable persons go thru in the privacy of their sleep and their thoughts.  It took me 19 years to face my monsters and talk about my ordeal so as decided as ever somehow I will cross that finish line to honor the Vineki family and their remarkable acomplishments and example.

I went to sleep as expressed above but just as I did every chemo day I woke up decided that cancer would not beat me and today it was the bikes turn.  Last sunday the bike beat me up.  It took all the power I had and left nothing for that last hill.  It smiled in my face at 39.6 miles and left me there to think about it for a week.  Well my friends I had new inspiration last night and as I started my ride I was decided it will be 40 miles, 2 hours 45 minutes no matter what and today I was willing to loose some teeth over it.  We took off on our usual route.  Early I figured my plan would take me to the gas station after the Dorado hotels near Cerro Gordo Beach and back.  I stayed with the pack for the most part but today it broke pretty early and people were just going faster that I could in good councious go and make it back.  Today I thought of every detail including the wind heading back.  I still caved in to push and found myself a few times forcing the pace.  Jochi had left me and went of with his Ironman friends ahead to never see him again.  Julissa picked him off after an hour as scheduled.  After 15 miles I remained in a pack of 6 which included Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2002, Isis Casalduc.  Isis has helped us with some things for Team Jochi and is a good rider except as she told me she rode on the trainer for 3 hours yesterday.  My God how could she do it.  We pushed thru and interchanged the point.  Isis and myself fell behind at some point about mile 17 and we were loosing the small pack.  I was even further back and I just figured that it would be harder alone that with all the company.  I waited until we got to flat spot and just went for it.  I picked up speed and was doing a good 27 mph on the aero bars and reaching Isis pretty quickly.  I started calling her attention and telling her to get on the pedals so she can get behind me and we can catch up to the pack.  As I got closer to her she figured out what I was saying and got moving.  I can only wonder her thoughts but I will bet that she must have thought that such a big draft was hard to let it go by.  I mean I may not be an avid rider but my friends I guarantee you the draft pocket behind 248 pounds must be pretty good.  It is probably the kind of draft Lance Armstrong only dreams of.  Anyway we caught up to the pack and kept on going although I was winded and drained.  It was only a few meters short of the gas station so I kept going as I knew my rest was pretty close coming.  I pulled in and the others continued on.  I had never met these guys and girls in the pack but were nice people and I had a good time riding with them. What I just shared with you might not be important to many but for me it is because 3 weeks ago I would not even dream of drafting anyone and today I am helping people catch up with packs.  That is huge progress for me. 

I pulled in to the gas station and got off the bike.  Just as planned 1hour 10 minutes, 19 miles.  I had figured extra time to get back because of the wind and the extra mile will come as my route back will vary just a little because of one way streets. Julissa pulled up in the support car and Gabriela got ready to ride back with me on what would be her longest and final ride before her first triathlon.  I took on water and a little sugar pick me up along with a gel pack.  I rested a little bit and gave time to get feeling back in my ass as it had been numb for a good half hour.  The plan was to get back no stopping, no excuses.  We started heading back and as Gaby wormed up we started doing some all out repetitions which I just had a blast doing with my little girl.  Despite having fun I knew I was using valuable power I will need to get back but who cared I was having fun with my daughter and nothing replaces that.  Since I have been riding with Jochi for half the distance and then getting back with Gaby I feel like a grayhound dog at the track.  It is like they throw me a fresh legged rabbit all the time for me to chase.  Regardless I was not mistaken about the wind which pounded us all the way back.  With 5 miles to go I hit the wall.  I was very slow and felt no power in my legs.  I was decided I would not stop so I pushed thru.  I called the suport car and asked for my recovery drink.  I drank my recovery drink as quickly as I could and took a power gel.  I struggled thru until about 2 miles to the end.  I had been on the bike for 2 hours and 35 minutes but I was feeling a second wind and I was hungry.  All of the sudden it seemed posible.  Yes, I had no intention of stoping, we were going for breakfast.  Gaby stoped for a second to let me catch up as I was calling on them.  I told them we will continue to ride about 7 more miles to the bakery we usually have breakfast.  Gaby was in as always so on we went.  The ride was fairly flat and since we were inside the city the wind would not pound us as hard.  The catch.... an 10 degree 200 meter hill about 1 mile from the bakery.  It was unavoidable, I had many other route options but all had a hill, longer or shorter, steeper or flater, so my friends I was climbing a hill no matter what.  I knew I had no power to take on such a hill but like I said today I had a plan for everything.  I wanted Gaby to climb the hill because I know that things like that boost her confidence.  For a good mile I gave her instructions on how to attack the hill and told Julissa to stay with Gaby.  My plan...... simple, I was not even going to try.  There were more important acomplishments today than climbing that hill.  I had already ridden 43 miles and had been on the saddle for 2 hours 58 minutes.  I decided I will just walk the hill up.  No shame, it was just the plan.  As we made the turn I was yelling encouragement to Gaby to just push her way up.  She did just that.  As I saw her climb I was a super proud dad and saw once again that my little girl has one of my qualities.  Perseverance!  She waited for me at the top as I walked up.  I stopped and hydrated a little bit.  We had some high fives as the only thing between us and the bakery was a huge hill down.  Down we went and off the bikes.  Gaby had a 10 minute brick which after 26 miles I cut it short to a couple of minutes just till she got her legs back.  She did awsome today and I had a wonderfull time.  Final toll was 45.05 miles and 3 hours 5 minutes on the bike.  WOW!!!!!

 I was hurting and still am but I was very happy.  What I did today was good to the overall picture.  I had to pull thru difficult situations and I was decided to carry out the plan which I did.  I also proved I am getting stronger by the day and that I am making progress which is esential to maintain my motivation alive and well.  But the best thing is that I am not suffering thru this, on the contrary I am happy doing this and all my reasons are the right ones, I have no doubt about that.  In the end I feel like a cat, give me a cookie and I want a glass of milk!!!!

Sept. 23, 2010 If you fall, the important thing is to get back in the race quickly

Back on track.  I woke up this morning to a new level.  Yeap a new level.  249lbs is a new level.  I have not seen a number 4 in the second digit of my whight in probably more than a decade.  I was feeling very guoilty for what I ate in Miami but in the end I managed to pull of no gaining anyhting.  that is huge.  I was back in the pool today.  I felt alittle wierd in the begining and it took like 300 meters for my arms to settle in.  I am starting to figure out my body and how it reacts.  After 100 Meters I felt like stoping because my arms felt tired.  But I knew it was a mind game and all needed to do was press on and everything would be allright.  That is what I did.  For the first time I wore tri shorts to the pool.  That might not seem like a lot but it really is.  It means I am now wearing athletes clothes not shorts or a bathing suit.  It means I becoming a serious athlete and that satisfyies me.  I have no idea how I am going to ride the bike with no padding but I will have to figure it out as time goes along.  I did my practice and felt strong.  My technique is far from perfect but it is also far from where it started.  i am feeling more comfortable by the day breathing out of my left side.  I need to find the best position as I rotate tto get air thru the left side.  i have gotten a lot better but I am still taking a little water or raising my head a little to get the air.  I think from next practice on I will only breathe thru the left side until it is perfect.  I find the benefit in it because I can confortable breathe every 3 strokes which keeps my heart rate low.  Once I get breathing thru both sides I will be in really good shape to just work on my arm strenth and start getting the distance.  There is an event Dec. 12th called the Contender.  It is a 70.3 local event.  As I swam today it started looking more and more attractive.  I know I can't run that far and probably will not be at that stage by then but I should be able to swim that distance and bike the 53 miles also.  All of the sudden it seems posible.  I will try and see where I can go.

Talking about events my first oficial Triathlon is coming up October 17th.  I am nervous.  I know I have the distance to swim but still feel kind of winded after the swim so I am worried about the bike and certainly the run.  I have three events coming up.  Oct 17th, then the weekend after that and Nov 17th.  I dont want to put a time to it because I have no basis to start from but my goal for Oct 17th is to swim normally, struggle thru the bike and certainly walk the run.  For the next weekend I expect to swim the same but finish the bike and run at least 1 mile and walk the rest.  By Nov 17 my expectation is to do the full sprint and smile at the finish line.  I think the experience will be valuable.  I need to swim in the crowd and keep my composure and I need to find a way to recover from the swim while I am on the bike.  The first bike course is particularly challenging because it starts up hill and the course is 4 laps.  So I will have to climb that hill 4 times.  Challenging but I will do my best.  I am counting that I will need to put strenth into that hill that will prevent me from running.  After all I will have to survive the bike to get to the run.   My goal is to finish the bike while still in the saddle.  If I can do that I will walk the 5K and my chances of finishing are very good.  One thing has already been decided.  I will finish one way or another.  That I a certain of it I have to start practicing my IronMan race attitude and these events provide the means to do just that.  One more thing.  I will do every thing in my power not to finish last!!!

i feel back on track.  I fell for a few days but I feel I am right back on!!!

Sept. 22, 2010 Dicipline is the only thing that will take you to the finish line

On Monday, August 24, 1992 hurricane Andrew hit Florida with force.  As you would expect all services including Hospitals were suspended.  I remember a lot of details of where we stayed and how we coped with Andrew living in Miami but the main aspect is that we were not affected.  We were fine.  However Monday August 24, 1992 wa also the start of a new Chemo cycle for me.  It was Monday hell day.  Mondays was the worst of days.  I would get to the hospital very early and would usually get a bed because it would be an all day event.  I know little about what was it that I got on mondays and francly it made absolutly no diffrence if I knew the components or not so I did not even care.  I knew it would get rid of cancer and thatwas sufficient.  I would get my IV in and would for most of the day sleep as all the medicine went in.   Medicine....yeah right.  I knew enough that I was given a medicine in the morning and the reason I stayed there all day ws to get an antidote in the afternoon.  Medicine...I don't think so, the only thing that requieres antidote is poison.  Regardless cancer deserves poison so I was not about to question the method.  As I would get up at 5:00-5:30 in the afternoon I felt very heavy and tired.  I felt like someone had beaten me up.  I was not hurting but would be completely spent.  It was hard to get up.  It was the only day I would not drive and after almost a year in chemo we knew we needed the car fast and we needed to get home quickly.  What followed were severe side effects.  I don't need to detail them but the next 12 hours would be pure hell.  I would not want to speak to anyone or do anything but go from the bed to bathroom to either pee or throw up.  The only thing I could hold down was Sunkist.  I was cery proud all thru treatment that there was only 2 times were I threw up outside of a bathroom or my house.  Funny what you can get proud of huh!!!  One time it was a monday and I had to get out of the car.  The other was right after Taco Bell with Julissa at 87th Ave and Flagler.  Julissa got very scared but afterwards I just said lets go and off we went.  Throwing up was way of life just like going to the bathroom.  If you work at it you can kind of controll it and I worked at it a lot.

Andrew hits, and what do we do on Tuesday.  I tell my mom "lets go I need to get to the hospital".  I remember she telling me I was crazy and that there would be no one there.  She was right, but I didn't care.  I had been almost a year taking all that crap and I can now see the end.  Do you really think Andrew would stop it?  I felt like a death row inmate.  When they first tell you that you will die you are terrified and try anything to get away, but then one day you just want them to tell you where the room is and where is the button that would end your misery.  That is how I felt.  Andrew or no Andrew I was going to get it anyway and believe me it was better sooner than later.  If I did not get this cycle that means I would fall behind.  To me that was unacceptable.  So we went to the hospital.  I could not believe what I was doing.  I was actually all over Jackson Memorial looking desperately for my chemo.  That was something I will never understand but that is how history wrote itself.

My actions after Hurricane Andrew were not because I had lost my mind.  It was discipline.  It was the discipline it took to get what I needed done and get back to my life and go home.  This week I faced a new challenges and actually failed miserably.  I had to travel to Miami for some work issues and I was expected to return yesterday but we could not finish our work and needed an extra morning there.  Monday I had to do a 45 minute run.  To be honest I felt pretty spent and my knees were not all that strong.  So I figured that because Tuesday was a rest day I could interchange the days.  That was monday's excuse.  Tuesday came along and I found that I just could not get out of bed so early to train and I slept in so I did not train on Tuesday morning.  As it turned out the afternoon got pretty hectic trying to finish our work so we could make the flight early on Wednsday.  We finished late about 7:30-8:00 and I was beat. So no work out on Tuesday.  To make matters worse I caved in to temptations at Ihop and Versalles so my diet kind of went south although I do not know how bad it is because I have not weighted myself.  In the end I lacked discipline, not desire discipline.  My discipline was so bad I feel heavy and clumsy as I write.  I have meditated on it and I am commited that it will not happen again.  Discipline is the only thing that wil get me strong enough, slim enough, and tough enough to finish the Ironman.  I can not and will not tolerate this to happen again.  As I often preach training has to be an ireplaceble part of your day.  Anything that needs to take place in a particular day needs to be acomodated around training and your other everyday issues.  I traded some bed time and tv time for training.  Frankly I better start listening to my self and applying it.  i sould have watched the tv while I was working out and I can for sure sleep when I die!!!!!

Discipline is the only thing that will take me to the finish line.  The saying goes "I can" not "I can't".

***Please excuse the errors I am having a hard time with the correction feature.

Sept. 19, 2010 It is all about the people that sorround you.

The Ironman is an individual competition.  No question about that.  However, you could never complete a task like that alone.  You will always need help from the people that sorround you.  I will never forget room 305 at the University of Miami outpatient Clinic at Jackson Memorial Hospital.  The 3rd floor was called the Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center.  Like I said before, no one ever mentioned the word "Cancer" and that includes the doctors.  However once you entered that building and arrived at that floor there was only one desease that was treated there, Cancer.  No one needed any further explanation.  It was the day I met God.  Yes you read right God.  He was dressed in a Hilfiguer Blue long sleeve shirt, and dark blue slacks with brown shoes.  His tie well of course red.  I learned later that God has little time to mix and match so he always wore obvious combinations.  His Dr's robe was a bit stained, unusual for a Dr. but this was no ordinary Dr.  He presented himself as Dr. Pasqualle Benedetto as my Mother, my Brother and me sat in that room.  I bet you if I went there I could probably find that room blindfolded.  It is something I will never forget.  At that point Dr. B had no news for me, I knew I had cancer otherwise I would not be there, what I wanted to know was how I was going to get rid of it because by that time the tumor that they had taken out of my eye had grown again.  Nothing touched Dr. B, no emotion, no thinking about what he was going to say, no pause, and certainly no decoration.  He explained everything about the treatment and what it was going to be like.  That was also the first time I heard that it would take a year of treatment.  My mother was very upset and anguished, and my brother....... I thought they were going to have to resusitate him as he was listening to what Dr. B was saying.  Me, I was calm.  I had peace and it came in the way that I now knew what I had to do and I was committed to doing it.  I left that office ready to start treatment.  That day I did not know Dr. B was God, I learned that througout the course of a year.  No question Dr. B is God's instrument to deal with this desease on earth.  He became my friend, and in my darkest hours when I saw him and talked to him I had peace once again.  I am writing this blog and competing in this event because Dr.B knew how to cure me.  That is only God's work!!!!

The people that sorround me back then were instrumental in my journey thru treatment.  My family was well....familly and no day passed that my family did not support me.  In the end there was a huge amount of people that just kept supporting you day by day and that support my friends is the only thing that makes you go on and not give up.  Among those there is always those who just by being so close and so devoted become part of your destiny.  While you have cancer there are the ones that push you to your limits only because they can not stand to see you die.  I had a few of thoose but two will always stand out.  My mom who I will eventually talk about and lets just say the other one drives the support car.  Literally!!!!!

Today I was determined to ride for 2 1/2 hours and to go 40 miles.  New limits for me.  I felt very good this morning and strong.  The pack was easily about 30 riders and today, because we did not know the route Gabriela rode on the "broom" until we would turn around and Jochi and me would ride along from the start because our rides were longer than Gabriela's.  As we left I was comitted to not letting that pack leave me behind so I just stayed with them, no problem.  I practiced with Jochi keeping his cadence up and riding confined inside the pack.  This would build confidence on his riding which is crutial at this point.  Litlle by little it started happening.  One guy rides along and asks where is Jochi going next.  As we have a conversation while riding at 18 MPH he is telling me how much he supports Jochi and Julissa and myself as parents.  As it turns out this goes on for a good 15 miles with people one by one just riding along and giving me all their support.  What can I say I rode inside of that pack for 20 miles with out a single minute feeling tired or uncomfortable in the saddle.  Like I said "It is all about the people that surround you".  I felt surrounded by support both for what I was doing but mainly for Jochi and his quest for the IronKids Tittle in two weeks.  Thoose people make all the diffrence in the world and I trully thank all of them from the deepest of my heart for the love and caring they have given all of our familly.

So mile 18 comes up and we are aproaching the turn around for the people like Jochi and me on the 2 1/2 hour program or 40 miles.  As Jochi and I rode side by side I spoted Coach K about 3 rows in front and I told Jochi to go and say hi.  I wanted coach K to see that Jochi was still with the pack and had really worked hard thru 20 miles.  He always has words of encouragement and I thought the oportunity was there for Jochi to hear some of them.  So it happened!! Jochi got on top of the pedals and reaches Coach K, but no stoping, he looks at coach K and even as he is still telling me that there were no words, I saw Coach K get on top of his pedals and off the both went.  Past the front of the pack and not looking back they are full out gone ahead and my guess is that they are going 25+ MPH and battling.  Knowing coach K I knew that the long sunday ride just became a tempo practice session for Jochi.  Good for them, as I have said that relationship is special and close.  As it turned out that event ended up hurting me because the pack accelarated beyond my limit and I was soon all the way back saying goodbye to them and all alone in the road.  Iti did not matter I was 1 mile away from my destination so I was very happy!!!.  Julissa arrived with Gabriela and I unloaded her bike as she was ready to go.  I refilled with cold water and sent Julissa after Jochi who was now miles in front with coach K and the rest of the pack.  We took few minutes and Gabriela and me started heading back.  Gaby was happy, she felt good in the bike that I had refitted yesterday.  After a while Julissa showed up behind us with Jochi smiling ear to ear.  He had a practice and good ride, plus he had some fooling around with coach K.  Good for him he needed that.  As we are heading back I started to get tired but went along.  Gaby pushed me since she was fresh on the legs.  As we approached mile 36 we came to the part where we had to negotiate some hills to get back.  I had already riden 2 1/2 hours and I was happy, but I wanted to get those 4 miles and reach 40.  At mile 38 I climbed the hill and by the time I reached the top I had absolutely no power.  In the Military it is called Total Muscle Failure.  It is when you use a particular muscle until it can no longer produce any more work.  That is where my legs were at this point.  I was not in pain or cramping I just had 0 power that is it.  This hill was followed by a down hill about 1/4 mile long and was followed by a 200 meter 11 degree hill which was the last one.  39.6 miles, I took on some speed as I went down but still very little power.  I attacked the hill ont my lightest gear nothing else available and started the climb.  As I reached the mid point I just knew I had only power left to unclip from the peddals and avoid loosing a tooth to that hill.  I unclipped and dismounted.  My heart rate was 145 and I was breathing hard but in control, I felt fine.  I was pleased, I was very pleased because I rode until the limit of my body which was reached miles behind.  My mind kept pushing beyond and I had nothing left.  .4 miles short but very happy.  Gaby just flew by me on the hill and Julissa followed.  I took a seat on a tree and waited for them to arrive.  I was very happy with 2 hours 44 minutes on the saddle and 39.6 miles ridden faster that I ever dreamed of.  As I looked around to Julissa, Jochi, Gaby, and some of the little groups of riders that were passing by on their way back I came up with todays title.  "It is all about the people that sorround you"

Sept. 17, 2010 "Rest Day" TGIF

Thank god it is Friday and that my friends means it is a rest day.I feel pretty good today just a little soreness left but overall I feel really good.  I can feel how consistently I am getting stronger every day and how the recovery periods really help.  I must say I am disappointed in my weight which has not gone down as I wanted to.  Today I am still at 252 and I was really hoping for 250 or less.  By no means do I want to become a strong fat guy.  I want to loose the weight.  I am almost certain that my knees and other parts will not take a full ironman handling that weight or close to it.  I have some stressful times coming in the next few weeks with some issues at work I have to deal with and the Ironkids Championship on Oct. 3rd.  I will continue on my own until then and that week I plan on seeking some help with my diet to complement my training.  I am struggling in getting enough calories so I can train but if I get the calories I don't loose the weight.  I am still trying to find my "groove" in that aspect.

This week I faced a few challenges that will help me at the event.  First, Jochi.  Jochi is ready for Ironkids and his x country season.  Like any other professional champion Jochi has trained for almost 16 weeks straight for this event.  His relationship with coach K has grown exponentially and they are truly a sight to watch at the races.  I will bet you all the money in the world that no other athlete makes coach K as nervous before a race.  Understandably Jochi is his only Kid athlete and he has just such dedication to his development that I think if he wasn't nervous he would not be human.  Obviously he handles it much better than I do.  Confidence for Jochi has been somewhat of a problem thru his short career.  It is something that he will overcome with time but for know he needs to practice a lot getting control of his emotions before race time and letting his training take over.  This is monumental for coach K.  How do you teach a 13 year old to be confident especially at that age where being and looking cool is more important than breathing?  Like I said it will take time and I couldn't be more confident that coach K will eventually beat those odds with flying colors.  I actually think that Jochi needs to come short often so that he can learn the value of winning but on the other hand, he so much deserves to win.  He has trained very hard and with admirable dedication.  I will have my camera ready for both events.  Regardless of how he places they have both won.  They will come out of that event with a super strong bond based on trust and respect.  Jochi will come out double the athlete he was when they started and coach K would have finished the cycle of successfully taking a young runner and presenting him in the USAT and IronKids National Championships as a full young triathlete.  I know Jochi can win, I know it in my heart and the stopwatch also say's so.  Many things can happen and no situation can ever take away what he has done to get here and the bond with his coach and his fellow teammates.  He might win and he might not but I guarantee you that if he does win the celebration will be very, very, big.  To me like I said they have both already won huge.  I would love to see my son and his coach win it all.  But if they don't I will be there in the front to tell them that there is always next year and celebrate anyway.

Tomorrow I will be running again and on Sunday another bike ride.  I can tell you that I will keep my run probably the same a last Saturday but I am pushing for new limits on the bike.  I won't reveal them today but I hope I can report a new level by Sunday.

For now I am officially resting!!!!

Sept. 16, 2010 Routine will be your friend.

Little by little routine is taking over my training.  That is a good thing.  Yesterday I went for a bike ride same route and distance as Monday.  This time I felt much better about it.  The ride westbound was easy and pretty uneventfully.  On my way back I hooked up with the godfather of Gabriela and 3 others which were doing the same route in training for a Mountain Bike event in Guatemala.  Yesterday I had my lights so riding at night was not a problem.  I drafted with them fairly quickly thru the hardest part of the route right next to the beach with the wind in our faces.  We rode kind of fast and I could not believe those guys rode that fast in those bikes.  We got separated with about 6 miles to go as they continued their 3 hour training and I headed back to my office.  I felt really good after my ride and actually slept pretty good.  It was a little bit hard to get up today as I am very tired by now.  Jochi and Gaby were not going to training today because they went to sleep late last night doing school work.  i had to think for a minute to get into the cold water but with no remedy I just jumped in.  my form is a lot better and I don't feel clumsy anymore.  Practice was fairly normal and I just feel tired from all the weeks training.  This afternoon I will go for a short run around the house and then will pack it up for the night and tomorrow which is a rest day.  Rest, thank god!!!!  I really need the rest so I will do my best to do just that. Rest!!!

Next week will be new as I have to travel for two days.  I will have to figure out a way of traveling and training so I will discuss this new twist with coach K and we will see.

Sept. 15, 2010 Contrast is the color of life

It is indeed a tough time in the training cycle.  I am by no means even considering quiting but I a can see why some people would.  At this point in training is where you break ar make.  The Navy seals call it Hell Week.  Actually Hell week is not so much physical as it is determination.  At this point your tired as I am, and there is just no way of relaxing or resting properly.  I am tired, I am hating the 4:00AM wake up and I am dealing with work and other things that sometimes it feels overwhelming.  Contrary to military training at this point you ask your self if you need this abuse and many opt to ring that bell three times.  All I am thinking is that I am not making progress, but I am conscious that I am indeed making huge progress.  As I took on my chemo treatment back in 1991 I remember that first Friday after 5 consecutive days of chemo.  I went out with some friends and partied in South Beach until 4am.  By my third chemo I wanted nothing to do with going out, I was drained physically and mentally and only rest made it better, then, I really wanted to quit.  The contrast is that in those days It was harder because I knew that it would get worse as the treatment progress.  As it turned out I was not mistaken.  Today I don't compare it to what I was feeling then because believe me there is no comparison, however it is similar in that I am beat up.  I am tired, sore, I can't sleep well, and by the way I am very hungry.  The difference is that I see a clear light in the end.  I can feel as I get stronger, quicker, better.  I can climb stairs quicker today than I could yesterday, I can swim faster, I can bike longer and I can.... well lets just say I can run a litttle bit. 

I knew that this would happen at some point and as I wrote I fell victim of emotion.  I won't talk about my training today, I will only say that I woke up every day for 13 months, got dressed and went to a hospital to get "poisoned" by chemotherapy.  Then, my perspective was that it would get worse as time passed by, today I wake up get dressed and go training.  I go see familiar faces and friends, I get stonger, slimer, and better evryday, and guess what.........  I do all this with my wife and my 2 kids!!  In those days even on the sunny days the sky looked dark and gray, but today I get greeted by a megestic sunrise every morning.  Contrast.......Contrast is the color of life!!!!!

I have not had a coke for recreational reasons in 2 weeks!! ( I had one the other day for sugar during training)
I have not had a Soft & Creamy ice cream in 2 weeks!!
I have not eaten rice & beans in 2 weeks!!
I am eating power gels, and drinking recovery drinks and AMINO drinks.  Trust me they all taste like crap!!!
I have gone to Chillis twice and have not even smelled a molten!!
and finally I have not had a Flan from Paya i over a month!!!

I am comitted

Sept. 14, 2010 At some point it was going to hurt.

Well another Monday and another one of those magical "recovery rides" this time 1:00 long.  I have to admit i was a bit frustrated from Sundays ride.  I shouldn't be but I was.  I just hate being the slowest and so I spent a good part of Sunday and most of yesterday tyring to figure out why it was that everyone and I mean everyone was faster than I was.  I though I must be doing something wrong, or there is something wrong with the bike.  i just see all these people ride by and they look so effortless it was really bad.  On Sunday I remember seeing this old man on some sort of mountain bike.  I was steadily gaining on him on a deserted stretch of road.  As I passed by him he was almost stoped and I remember saying to myself, "finally someone as bad as I am".  Well that did not last long, two minutes past and the old man just flew right by me and I had nothing to even try and catch him.  I kept asking myself why can everyone just go faster.

I went to lunch with one of the engineers from the company which I know has been training for a while.  I knew he started riding maybe 3-4 months ago, and I asked him what he could do.  When he said he could ride comfortably at 22-24 mph and do about 40-50 miles I was puzzled.  I was convinced something had to be wrong.  So, as it turns out yesterday's bike ride will not be a "recovery ride" it would be a ride to figure out what was wrong.  Took off from my office enroute to the west as usual.  I had planed to ride to the Dorado gas station and back.  As I passed about 6 miles I felt pretty good but I was still on pretty rough road.  I still had about 2 miles of rough road until I could find better asphalt to ride on and the ocean view to my right side.  As I left the rough road I just let it rip.  I got on a heavy gear and just zipped thru the road.  i got on the aero bars and was comfortable at about 22-23 mph and I was feeling good.  When I got tired I just pushed harder and when my legs hurt I just pushed harder.  After a couple of miles all the pain was gone and I was flying thru.  I was thinking to myself. "so that is how they do it".  But wait I still have to go back and I don't see all those people puting out the effort I was putting out.  I immediately dispatch it as a lack of fitness and I convinced my self that all those people had probably years of riding experience and that I will eventually get there.  I was doing an awesome time until the road turned to the North.  Right then and there it hit me.  The wind that is, all 10-15 miles of it.  I instantaneously figured out why I was going so fast heading west and I immediately thought "hoe in gods name am I going to head back".  I took my water bottle for a sip and it was only 1/4 left so I had to reach the gas station and refill with water for the ride back.  There was nothing I could do so as I arrived at the station I was decided on a good rest, some water and some calories.  After about 10 minutes I headed back this time towards the east.  In a few short minutes I was hitting the wind head on.  Regardless of effort all I could do was 10- 11 MPH with times of 7-8 MPH.  It was brutal.  My legs were numb by now but I knew I had every muscle in them destroyed and not much power was left.  Night had fell and I did not expect to be on the road at that time so I had no lights.  That part is inexcusable I should have known better that to leave my lights in my bag.  We had an old saying in the Army that I just remembered very clearly.  "Assumption is the mother of all F...ups".  So here I was legs exhausted, dark with no lights and cars flying by.  Oh by the way 9 miles to go.  I have to admit that quiting crossed my mind and I thought I should probably stop at the first commercial place I found and ask for a phone to have someone pick me up.  After all there was no SOB there giving orders so no one will have to go to sleep, and quiting "really",,,, I don't think so!!!!  This is the Ironman there is no timeout or quiting, and as the General said, "You can quit, and no one will care.  But you will always know".  Not a chance my mind was made I will reach my destination.  I took some risks by riding very close to the rail as means of some protection against the incoming cars, but even with that I was risking a puncture so there were really no straight forward solution.  As I pressed on I reached a part of town that lets just say it is a world of its own.  No problem during the day but at night and alone that is a different story.  I had but one option which was to go thru as fast as I could and I remember thinking that there were only two bad things that could happen.  I got hit by car or made into someones girlfriend, especially wearing my Lycra shorts.  So I caught my second wind and zipped by until I reached the traffic light to turn towards my office.  At this point my cadence was about 40-45 and I was just ridding the contour of the road with all power exhausted.  In the end I reached my destination and I must say I felt pretty good about it.  I had just had my first complete muscle failure workout in the past 20 years.  Urrraaahhhhh!!!!

As I got home I felt all the acid in my legs I could not process.  I was in pain.  I took a shower and straight to bed.  I was in such pain I slept for maybe minutes at a time and I went to the bathroom very frequently just to move my legs.  In one occasion I woke up and was on my side with my legs moving as if I was peddling.  That was crazy.  I decided to put on my compression socks and that relieved me a lot.  It gave me some comfort to sleep for the rest of the night.

I woke up feeling very spent from yesterdays ride and a not so hot night sleep.  But I was happy.  What a ride!!!  I went to my swim practice and we did as usual some more drills although today we started swimming more distance.  We had a great practice and as I got out of the pool felt winded and spent but I felt good.

In the old days pain was an indicator that you had worked hard and eventually will get better.  I don't like the pain but I have to get used to it settling in for a while.  At this point I am pretty comfortable that I am running to the limit of my bodies ability, and yesterday I learned how to ride to my limits.  My limits next time will be further and that is how I can build up on my fitness.  Swimming hard is fairly easy but I figure that speed is not the most important thing in the swim.  I need the endurance on my legs and that is what I need to work as much as possible.

Sept. 12, 2010 Progress is made

Today was another good day.  Training called for a 2 hr bike ride plus a 20 minute brick.  The group was divided because there was another biking event at another part of the Island and many riders went there.  I decided that I would do the same route I did last sunday and compare notes.  As we started moving I felt pretty good and strong.  I fitted my bike with Aero Bars so I could start getting used to them.  However even after my best effort to adjust them I was very uncomfortable on them.  In the end they are just to narrow and they hurt my shoulders.  I will need to replace my handlebars for something wider and that is round all the way so I can adjust the width better.  Gabriela fell behind at about the same point as she did last sunday but it was obvious that we were going faster today than last week.  She droped out at about 11 miles so I kept on cranking.  I did a 4 miles at about 19-21 mph average which is new for me so I was happy.  I stoped again as I entered Dorado to readjust my aero bars.  This time the adjustment was worse but I had already decided that regardless of the outcome from the adjustment I would not stop again until I reached the 2 hour mark.  As I kept on going I started to get uncomfortable on the saddle and my back started hurting a little.  In the end I wasn't stoping so... let it hurt!!  At about mile 18 I got a pressure point on my foot and it was almost unbearable.  As I figured my options I had to remind myself why I was doing that.  I remembered days when I told my doctor I wanted to suspend my treatment because it was to dificult.  I did that about 10 times and not one did I got a break.  I got my treatment every time.  I needed to step off the bike but I convinced myself that steping off was not an option.  So, I took my shoe off.  I rode with my shoe off for about two miles while the presure relieved itself and the pain got away.  I placed my foot back on the shoe and made it tight again.  I was back in the fight.  Good for me it worked.  I kept on pressing forward and passed the point where I stoped last week at the 2 hour mark.  This point was mile 27 and I arrived there at 1:52, that is 8 minutes quicker than last week.  So, I said goodbye to that place and kept moving further.  At the 2:00:00 mark I was at exactly 30 miles.  I was really proud of that ride. 

I stept off the bike and took a little break to hydrate and get into my running shoes.  As I started running I just felt like I was being droped from 10 feet.  The impact was just brutal and my legs felt like spaggeti.  I tried for 2 minutes to get the rythm and did my best effort to control my body.  In the end it was a phisical thing.  My body was not going to run after 30 miles on the bike.  It just wasn't going to happen.  I realized I did not have the muscle strenght yet to handle a brick at this time and at this weight.  I think its ok, I will get it at some point and as I do more distance I will be able to run after shorter distances.

Tomorrow I have one of those 1 hour recovery rides which I am still earching the meaning of them.  However I am looking forward to it.

Sept. 11, 2010 It all seems posible

Today was very good.  Today was long run day so we were ready to go by 5:30am.  Training called for a 1:15 run.  I took of with Gabriela and took our place in the back of the group.  Soon the group was gone and were at steady pace along.  Since yesterday my goal was to run 5K with out stoping.  In the beginning I felt kind of tight overall but I was not in pain or sore.  I was kind of well rested so I pressed on as usual.  My calf and hamstrings were tighing up but as I kept on going they started to loosen up.  We took on the same route as last Saturday and I felt good.  I had to pace my self because I was eager to press the pace but I knew it would back fire if I did.  I approached the hill with a new vision as I reduced pace to start the climb.  Today we went up that hill no problem.  As we reached the top my heart rate was at 154 which is almost topping what the pill allows.  As we started our decent I was a bit "winded" but kept on going.  Mid way down the hill and all of the sudden, I feel a burst of energy coming to me.  I checked my watch and saw my heart rate at 137 and to my surprise pace was below 13 minutes per mile.  Wow, I had recovered!!!!  Yeah, I had recovered in half the distance as of last time.  That means my fitness is improving.  That was the confidence boost I needed.  I ran for 2 miles with no problem as my hear rate fluctuated as my pace increased of decreased.  After I passed mile two I started having problems.  My heart rate started going up and nothing I did would help bring it down.  I knew that it was the limit of my fitness taking over but I was decided.  This is the part were your body will go further as long as your mind takes over.  I was starting to get a little frustrated with my heart rate that would not go down even at paces above 15 min/mile.  I knew it was almost over and I would have to stop.  As I looked at my watch again, I noticed something very interesting.  My HR was at 161bpm.  Now wait a minute that is not supposed to be happening!!  Unless a weak heart is prevented by the medicine but the medicine would have a harder time dealing with a healthier stronger heart, right.  Well, good question and I truly have no idea.  However I figured the issue in that way which told me if I get stronger I could beat this pill.  So truly to my style I started trying on purpose to get my HR up.  I speed up to my original pace of 13 min/mile or less and steady but surely my HR continued upward.  I was so concentrated on getting my HR up that I was thru the 3erd mile in no time.  When I stopped my HR was 170.  Not bad for just one week.  When I stoped I was indeed pretty tire and winded.  In the end I ran a 5K in about 40 minutes which for me it is a a record.  The rest I walked .5 miles and then I ran the other .5 miles to complete the 4th mile.  The running part of that 4th mile was really hard to get thru but in the end I finished it.  By know I had blisters in the arc of my right foot so I walked the rest of the way.  I finished 4.92 miles in 1:15 minutes.That is about a 4+ hour marathon.  Being this only a week after I could not get away from the possibility that it was possible.  I will at some point be strong enough to run the Ironman marathon.

Sept, 10,2010 The word Rest has a new meaning.

Yesterday was a good day of sorts.  I did my swim training yesterday and all went fine.  i m still doing drill which by now we all know I don't like.  However, and I hate to admit it they have been good to me.  I still feel a little funky doing some of them but I did notice something yesterday about my form.  It is hard to see yourself swimming but I can see the coach.  Coach K's difference is that he shows and demonstrates what you are doing wrong.  Even if you think you are passing when you see the demonstration it serves so that you can auto evaluate your work.  I think that part is very valuable.  During yesterdays demonstration I saw how he would swing his head to breath.  He does this very close to his shoulder which as it turns out is a lot less work than swinging to the side.  I noticed that and tried it the next time around.  It worked better and it will get some getting used to it but I will improve on that aspect.  I tried it from the left side and the water to air ratio as I breathe has improved but I still have to make a conscious effort to get my head out of the water.  That will still need more practice.  We also had some transition workouts yesterday and even though I could use the physical part of that training I had lots of stuff to handle at work so I did not do that part.  I think it was a good decision since today is a rest day and I can concentrate on new forward steps and goals for tomorrow.

Rest, what a word.  I needed this day very badly.  i am not aching anymore but I can still feel my body recovering from this weeks abuse.  I want to take a good night sleep today and I think that by tomorrow me and my body will be ready for some more fun.  Tomorrow we have a long run again.  This time it will be 75 minutes.  As I have said before the body will go as far as the mind will tell it to go.  My blister is cured by now so I am pretty much ready to go.  My goal is to go for 3 miles running and then walking the rest of the way.  I am planning on only going ahead and not an out and back course.  This way I can have a goal to reach and the view will always be new.  I am planning to go from Parque Central all the way to Kasalta Bakery in Ocean Park.  Maybee it will take a Little longer but that is the plan.  I can then have my celebration breakfast there.  I am looking forward to it!!!

Sept. 8, 2010 Frustration is only fuel for Motivation

Today I feel good!!  I had a good morning of training.  I could not sleep well last night as my thighs and calfs were so sore that staying still was hard.  I tossed and turned all night but after like 1:00AM I finally fell asleep.  I woke up before the alarm went off and I felt sleepy but I felt good enough to show up for training.  I immediately noticed the ROTC platoon that was starting to assemble for PT training at the track.  It brought back lots of memories.  I remember running thru and thinking "that is exactly what I need".  I though for a moment that I would talk to the commander and see if they would allow a fellow veteran to train with them.  They have a Special Forces unit so I can probably contribute something to those kids as I know first hand what being a Special Forces unit is all about.  My thinking was that it would be fun for me while I would get the pressure of training within an Army unit which would be great motivation.  I could give more time to coach K with his other athletes by freeing some time from my supervision which at this point is a lot.  However, I saw how they trained.  They were doing their biannual PT test, a protocol and standard I have known by heart since I enlisted at 17 years old.  Most of these guys were failing or close to failing.  Their form was horrible and that unit had absolutely no spirit.  Their military form and function was very informal which is unheard of in the military and knowing what I know, the officers in that unit would only get offended if I even suggested what a unit should look and sound like.  So for the time being it is better to leave it alone and do what I am doing.  Lots of memories past thru my mind but that is indeed water under the bridge.

I did my running as coach indicated.  I ran a few laps and walked a few laps.  I noticed that it takes me a long time to really get warmed up and that is just part of the learning I have to do in order tho better understand my strenghts and my weaknesses.  I finished my training as prescribed and felt pretty good about my performance today.  I even ran a 9:00 minute/mile pace for 1 lap which is a step up.  The best thing is that even in the shape I am in I ran a 16:25 mile and a 16:42 mile while only running 400M of each mile.  Not quite the 14:00 minute pace I need but in 1 year I should easily be able to run 800 Meters and walk 800meters at 14:00/mile.  That means I can walk half the distance of the Ironman and that is encouraging.  It does not mean that is what I want to do but for now I am just focused on minimums which is to finish in 17 hours.  Regardless of how strong I get or fit, it won't even matter.  Even if I finish the Ironman in 8 hours like the pros, I made a promise I will keep at all cost.  I will cross the line holding Dawn's hand so if I make it before she does I will grab myself a chair and wait for her for as long as I have to, although I think she would probably be the one waiting for me, so come to think of it we will probably need that chair anyway.  "We don't leave our people behind".

Despite my success today I felt frustrated at what I have become.  Let me first clarify frustrated.  In this case it is a positive because it allows me to look at myself and identify exactly what it is that I want to change or improve.  I remember in school, college, athletic teams, the military, and almost everywhere I went in my life that involved any physical activity there was always one common character.  The fat, slow, and always last guy who always struggled no matter how simple the exercise felt to you.  When we were kids these characters were always the victims of ridicule, hardship and abuse.  Looking back I never participated in those type of things I never ridiculed or abused anyone of those kids I knew then what I know now which is that they were not having a good time doing what they were being asked to do.  However in retrospect I could have done a lot more than what I ever did to help them get better or get thru the line.  I never messed with them but I never helped them either.  I could have done more and I did not, so in turn all I can do is teach my kids especially Jochi what the right thing to do is.  I am confident that he will learn and I believe that his noble nature will carry him further than I could ever go in that aspect.  So today's frustration settled in.  Guess why?  The group was about 20-25 persons today.  We did a group warm up and a group drill session which was very good.  However, I was the one who played that most important character in the life and blood of all sports and physical fitness.  Yes, you guessed it!  I was the fat, slow, and last kid thru the line, and I was consistent too.  I did not loose the spot once all morning.  I can't say by an Ironman marathon that anyone even thought about ridicule or hardship with me.  Totally the opposite.  All I got was encouragement and smiles.  I guess we have all matured in that aspect by now.  So you see, I hate being that guy even if I can sympathize with the issue, but the only way to get rid of the label is to get fitter, stronger and quicker.  Today my frustration is my best motivation and in a short time I am determined to go from last to first and I am not planning on stooping on my way to the front.

Sept. 7, 2010 If you can't hide, FIGHT

Thru time I developed a mechanism of simply blocking everything that has to do with cancer.  I did not want to hear about it.  It is not that I didn't care, it was just my way of not remembering.  Every time I hear that word and they tell me someone has it I can just feel the pain and the suffering of both the patient and the family.  This morning before I left for practice I received a message from a High School friend.  We graduated in the same class.  We were not necessarily close but we hung out at school and he was always around shooting the bull with us.  He was a nice guy though, a serviceable, likable guy, a nice guy.  He wrote me this morning about him reading this blog and how he was intrested in knowing my story.  He is a Chef/Owner of a restaurant in Puerto Rico and was diagnosed with testicular cancer this past April......

He went ahead and told me that he was fine and monitoring any recurrences and reassured me that his diagnosis changed his life just like it did to me 19 years ago.  My friend is just another reason I have to do what I am doing.  He must be 40 today or very close to 40.  When you see this type of stuff happening you can just play the movie in your head and see how it is that this disease breaks every bone in your world and destroys any hope, dreams, or plans you might have.  I will go and see my friend very soon.  I will let him know my story and I will comfort him in any way I can.  I will also let him know about the team why I am doing this Ironman and writing this blog.  I will share the story of my friend Winter, and Dawn with him and I will not only tell him, but I will show him how this 11 year old girl and her team is contributing to find the cure so that cancer does not bother him, me or anyone else ever again.

I received an email the other day from Dawn, Winter's mom, Hopefully come August 2011, I will have the honor of crossing the Ironman Canada finish line with her among other friends and teammates.  She assured me that Team Winter would be present at the IronMan 70.3 San Juan event.  I immediately told Julissa that we needed to take them out for dinner and show them our Puerto Rico.  The restaurant was going to be a difficult pick to make.  Guess what.  Not anymore!!!!

Sept. 7, 2010 We all have our bad days.

I am disgusted with my running today!  I am not putting pressure on myself or beating down the tree because of a bad day believe me I am stronger than that.  I am just ashamed of the way I trained today at the track.  I started by swimming with the group at the pool.  That went pretty good and I can see improvement.  I hate doing drills but again I won't question my coach and regardless, I felt, I was improving my form.  Ironically losing weight brings a consequence.  I am also loosing buoyancy.  I had some trouble getting my head out of the water, but in the end that is a very good consequence to have.  I practiced breathing out of my left side but it is still a challenge.  In future workouts I will force myself to breath out of that side so I can get better.  We did the underwater swimming drill again and no problems there as it has become routine.  Swimming came good I am very physically tired and most of my body aches in some way.  Not having the impact or stress helped my muscles.  I pushed hard this morning on the water.

My training program included a 30 minute run after our swim.  I left the pool feeling a little vented and still my heart Rate was in the 115 range.  I went to the track and started to run.  I was feeling all the impact traveling thru my spent legs and up to my head.  I concentrated on steeping smother.  It took me a couple of minutes to get into pace which I finally did at around 13 minutes/mile.  My heart rate kept going up and I was fighting it to come down.  I would slow down and nothing and as I tried to maintain pace it just kept climbing till about 147-152.  Remember the pill only lets it go to about 156-158.  I felt winded and had no power to go on so after exactly 10:00 minutes I stooped and started walking.  I tried to restart a couple of times but to no avail I just could not run.  I was disgusted with my self, it was the first time I have ever thought of my drill instructors in the military and how I just needed a well placed kick in the ass and good encouragement to keep on going.  I remebered how just recently while at the USAT Championships in San Diego, we saw many military guys running thru the base.  One particular group we had to stop and let them go by.  It was a new experience for coach K and Jochi but for me it was all too familiar.  You could see just a few instructors with the lead and mid pack, but those that were lagging behind had about three instructors per runner.  Jochi asked why they were screaming at the Marines that were behind and I clarified him that instructors never ever scream or yell, they speak in a laud enough voice so that everyone can hear them and learn from the mistakes others make.  Coach K, I explained in terms he could understand.  See if you fall behind on a run the US military will give you extremely personal care and attention the same way he does to his athletes except at the rate of three instructors per candidate.  Its a service as good as you will get anywhere in the world but that you will always hate to recieve.  The only way to refuse service is to go faster and up front and center.  In the end I finished up my "run" of 30 minutes while walking as afst as I could which was about 18 minutes per mile.  Not acceptable, not acceptable at all.  It has nothing to do with me, it has nothing to do with pressure, and it certainly has nothing to do with doing more than I can, absolutely not.  There is no in between in the IronMan you either finish of DNF, PERIOD.  When the IronMan comes and I have to do the marathon I will have to run.  I will be in pain at some point, I will be sore, I will be tired but I will still have to run and get to where I am going before 12 AM.  No excuses are valid and that is the way I should train.  I have no excuse, except that today I failed.  Coach K told me his worry was the marathon and today I proved him right.  Again, not acceptable.  My fitness level is no excuse today and it wont be come August 2011.  Some how, some way, I have to do 14:30/Mile regardless of what happens or how I feel.  I better get that thru my thick head and I better do it very quickly.  That is all I have to say!!

I am a firm believer that you must fail in order to know when it is that you have succeded.  Today's failure, while unacceptable is the first but will not be the last.  I will fail many times along the process.  That is part of this training, that is part of life.  For me the most important thing is that come Saturday's long run, I can do better than I did last saturday.  To do that I better get my act together and quick.  I need to sleep, rest and do my recoveries and my hydration, that is all I can do to amend what happend today.

Sept. 6, 2010 "Recovery" Yeah right !!!!

Yesterday was a good day except for all the soreness and awkward feeling of having used every muscle in my body to the maximum.  Today I experienced the most sarcastic workout I have ever seen.  Today we had an open water swim and a "recovery ride".  Recovery....what does that mean.

First to the swim.  I am indeed proud again of what I accomplished today.  I swam 900 meters on open water no rest!!  We are not talking 1/4 now but almost 1/3 the iron man distance.  i was always wondering after all that pool swimming what I could do open water.  I found out today.

It was after my swim were I started having problems with the terms used.  "Recovery Ride" of none the less 2 hours.  Well lets just take that in for a moment.  Until yesterday my furthest ride had been 20 miles and I was never on top of that bike for more than 20 minutes at a time.  Yesterday I rode 33 miles, and did not stop for 2 hours.  Yep 2 hours of butt rubbing with that ity bity tiny hard seat.  So I guess today I was supposed to be ready for a "recovery" ride of the same amount of time in the very same seat.  Right.... actually wrong!!!  The reality of the matter is that for all those athletes in the team it is a recovery ride but for me it was yesterday all over again.  I said at the beginning I was not going to question my coach and I still think that way so I was a good boy and sat on the saddle and started riding.  i must tell you I was hurting for a while trying to find the comfortable place but it was kind of hard,  Now, recovery speed for these people is 16 MPH my racing all out speed is probably 16-17 MPH so you see that is where that recovery term confuses me.  In all case I did not complain I took off and was determine to stay with the peloton as long as I could.  I was still very sore and my right knee started acting up a little bit and I just could not get rid of the paid.  I did my best for about 40 minutes until I drooped back because by now my back and my knee were starting to worry me.  I kept telling my self that at some point I will have pain so I just needed to go on and suck it up.  However I also thought that if I got hurt then it would be a lot worse.  I rode 45 minutes and stopped to stretch my back and hydrate a little bit.  I was then joined by coach K and one of the girls from the team who is starting out riding the bike.  She can swim and run but was new to the bike.  She rode well but looked a little bit insecure which is normal as she told me it was her second or third time on the bike.  We continued heading back and after a few minutes she was ridding fine.  We talked all the way back about Jochi and how he got started on the sport and a little bit of what I was doing.  We had an easy 12-13mph ride back with a total time of 1:38:00 and 20 miles.  Not bad for a recovery ride.  My back felt fine but my knee was still a little tender.

At the end I was very happy with my swim and amazed at my bike ride.  Right now I am very sore and I can feel my body all broken down.  I have taken my recovery drinks and Amino pills but still I can feel it.  I will continue to press on, after all this is the IronMan not the boy scouts.  Every day that passes I can feel the changes going on.  I can feel my body breaking down even further after every work out but I can also feel that when I get rested properly I will be that much stronger.  I can already feel that.  Next Saturday we have a long ride again.  I can't wait.

As off today I weighted in at 256.2 pounds.  That is 14 pounds less than 2 months ago and 3 pounds less than when I started.  By know I am almost getting used to my diet but it will still need to be improved with different types of food.  I f I can keep this up by the next time I see Winter on October 2nd I will probably be around 250-245.  I want her to notice the change, this girl means business when it comes to training and competing, so I want her to notice that I also mean business just like her. 

Sept. 5 2010 History repeats it self.

They say that history repeats it self and they are probably right.  August 1991, Bascom Palmer Institute, Miami Fl. about 9:00AM.  I was greeted as if I was someone of grater importance than just a patient there for an eye problem.  It didn't matter really I already knew it wasn't good.  I knew that a month ago.  Its a feeling is something you just carry inside and I as said at the very beginning I had peace.  Maybe it was that peace you hear people get before they are going to die or maybe it was just juvenile ignorance and stupidity.  What ever it was I was very peaceful and ready for whatever came out of the doctors mouth.  Dr.TSE " I have your results and we are still trying to determine what type of tumor we extracted from your orbit.  There are two possibilities.  One is a tumor that has been reported in children up to the age of 5.  It is very aggressive but it reacts very well to treatment and the prognosis would be very good with in one year.  Two is a tumor that has been reported only 7 times around the world and all 7 patients have been women.  This tumor has no treatment."  Alberto "What does that mean".  Dr. Tse "I am referring you to an oncologist at the Miami Sylvester cancer center next door.  We will wait until tomorrow for the official result."  Alberto " What happens if it is the bad one"  Dr. Tse " We would have to operate you and remove your eye"  Alberto " Would that get rid of both regardless of which one it is"  Dr. Tse "yes, but the Rabdomysarcoma is treatable with chemotherapy and radiation......."  Alberto " Cut it off, it does not matter I have two I'll keep one, Just get it over with and cut it off, I am ready."  Dr Tse " we need to wait..............."  I will never forget that conversation word for word.  In reflection I wasn't scared or brave I was decided.  Even today I think the same way, but don't get confused he never mention the word cancer and I had no clue what an Oncologist did.  Dr. did his job, he covered all the bases and let me know what horrible days lied ahead.  To this day he is one of my guardian angels and I am very thankful of his honesty and for allowing the greatest surgeon of all to take over. God!!!

Last night I had dinner with my coach, CoachK.  He has been training Jochi for a while and we have developed a good friendship.  Coach K is a good guy committed to his future and a family man.  We went to dinner to discuss my training and what steps we needed to take to get the job done.  He was as professional as in 1991 Dr. Tse was.  He told me the good, the bad, and the ugly about Ironman Canada, an event he has done before.  He emphasized on the hilly terrain and the bike and run climbs and put a time table for my training and goals.  In a way I was sitting in that chair exactly as I was 19 years ago listening to my diagnostic.  In total peace.  It does not matter what the terrain looks like of what it takes to cross the finish line.  What ever it takes I will do and I have so been advised that this medicine will not taste good.  Coach K you will be my guardian angel I am very thankfull for your honesty and integrity but in my heart I know that God is swimming with me, riding with me , and running with me.  I knew this at the beginning of my treatment and I know it now at the beginning of my journey.

Today I went for my bike ride.  I felt good about it and I knew it was a test.  I needed to know how far I could push.  We were all in a big group, some were going for 4 hours some for 2.  The group dissipated after about 20 minutes into the ride.  I stayed back because Gabriela was also riding and being the smallest she was also the slowest.  In a couple of minutes the group was gone and it was just Gabriela and myself riding along.  Our goal was for about a 1.5 hour ride totaling about 15 miles for Gabriela and 20 miles for me.  I had never ridden more than 20 miles total and had never ridden more than 30 minutes continuously.  After about 5 miles Gabriela was not in riding mode so I decided to get her picked up by our support car driven by Julissa.  She had stoped to gas up so it took a few minutes for her to catch up.  When she did I told her to pick up Gabriela and I took off after the group which was nowhere to be seen.  I had been riding for about 25 minutes and felt good and strong.  I pressed on concentrating on shifting to the terrain, keeping cadence up and to continue to pedal continuously.  I was soon at our usual resting gas station about 12 miles into the ride.  Time to head back right.  Wrong, not today.  My support car was nowhere to be found because Julissa had started chase of Jochi who was with his Ironman friends up in front just ripping the asphalt.  I was all alone with no I pod, and no support.  The ironman is an individual sport and rules don't allow you to wear and ipod or get any outside assistance.  This is what it is going to be about.  I flew passed the resting stop and committed to the impossible at this point.  A two hour ride, no stopping, and no excuse.  It was just me the bike and the road.  I pressed on and felt pretty good although I must admit that I was hoping to find the support car at some point since I was running out of watter.  At 1:38 I took my last water sip and kept on going.  I knew I would get into trouble if the support car didn't show up since I had been riding for 1:45 minutes and now I had nothing left to drink and hydrate.  Not one minute passed when as I was climbing a very soft little hill I felt the cramp coming very strong and invading my hamstring.  I identified it immediately and took my clips of the pedal and stretched out the leg which received the cramp.  I was lucky.  However I only had one stroke left which was pushing down, I could no longer lift on the pedal stroke or I would cramp.  I started evaluating my options and I realized that I committed a huge mistake earlier in the morning.  I had no money and no phone.  So without knowing it I was on a full dress rehearsal with about 15 minutes to go.  I was committed I kept going some miles were good and some were sloppy but I was using every terrain advantage I could get resting on the down hills and taking it easy on the up hills.  2:00:00 and I finally get off for the first time.  My mind was rocking.  I was making all kind of calculations all probably not true but it didn't matter I just rode 28 miles in 2:00:00 without stopping.  That is 1/4 the Ironman bike ride @ 257lbs and with no water for the past 30 minutes and probably 7 miles.  All of the sudden it was confirmed possible.  It is possible I can do this I just have to train for it.  I borrowed a phone at a Tire changing station and called Julissa who was probably 25 miles away.  Usually I would be very mad at something like this happening but today I had a huge accomplishment so that was enough.  We agreed she would take the road towards me and I would ride towards her and would meet somewhere in the road.  The guy at the station had no water so I was still dehydrating relatively fast.  I took on the road back being very carefully about cramping.  About 15 minutes later I was starting to feel the pain.  My neck was starting to act up and my feet were falling asleep.  I figured that since I was not pulling on the pedals I could loosen the shoes and ride with loose shoes which I did.  I ran into a couple of riders going back and forth but had no time to ask them for water because they were going fairly fast.  They see this big guy on a bike going slow they don't figure anything is wrong they just figure it is only natural.  Regardless I was not in that much trouble.  I was not thirsty I just knew I was dehydrating severely damaged muscle tissue with a lot of lactic acid going around.  By know my butt is my biggest enemy and my back is starting to take the load and I can feel it getting tighter.  At that point I was decided to stop the next rider by and ask for some water and rest a little bit, but it happened to be one of Jochis Ironman friends who just zipped by on the aero bars at about maybe 24-25 miles and hour.  I wasn't about to stop his training for my stupidity so I let him go by and said nothing.  Thankfully Julissa showed up a minute or so later.  I was ok.  Very sore and tired but I was really ok.  I chugged about a quart of water but immediately looked at my bike telemetry.  33 miles and 2:22:00 ride.  I was so proud nothing else mattered. 

I accomplished something today.  I pushed myself with very little mental effort.  I knew what I had to do and I kept moving forward.  I can fix what went wrong but in the end I had a little bit of the Ironman experience.  I was alone and a victim or beneficiary of my decisions.  In the end I already have a new target to work on.  As  I got home I took an ice bath but I can feel my body severely spent and I am a little dehydrated which I am working on.  We have a swim tomorrow, i am sure I will be hurting but I will do my best to complete that training.

Dr. Tse and Coach K had a lot of bad news to deliver.  They did their jobs as professionals and I took my decisions as my heart dictated.  As decided as I was to get rid of my cancer using what ever method I could find, I am as decided to cross that finish line.  History repeats its self!!!

Sept. 4 2010 Just keep moving!!

I am very proud of myself today.  I surpassed my goal and my attitude just kept turning in the right direction.  I can truly see my self swimming 2.4 miles and biking 110 miles.  What just scares me is the marathon.  A full marathon is not something in my bucket list so just imagine doing it after all that swimming and riding.  However that is part of the event no way around it.  So I took on the road today. with a plan of running one mile and then walking 10 minutes and then running another mile, to walk the rest of the 1 hour training.  Since I started I had my mind set that I would walk or run for the whole hour.  I started to run and dealt with all the pain and other things that started happening.  I felt strong mentally so I just kept going.  In the en I ran 2 miles with out stopping.  I was really proud of that.  However I still had to continue on.   I had to find a way to keep moving forward and I did. It turns out that I had never even dream about running 26 miles but it turns out I have marched a lot more than that many times.  I started remembering the road marches we did while I was in the military and it just clicked.  Our attitude then was just to keep moving forward no matter what.  So that is exactly what I did.  I even started calling cadence and all.  As it turns out I still know some of the songs we did while on the marches so singing along meant I can still march at a 15:30-16:00 minute per mile pace.  That means that with a year of training behind me I could probably march the marathon and make it to finish walking instead of running.  That takes a lot of pressure and encourages me a lot.  It felt good it felt really good.  I will get better I just know it.

Today unfortunately did not go with out its test.  As I approached the 45 minute mark I started to run again.  I was in pain from a blister in my right foot but that was not going to bother me after all this is the Ironman not a complaining contest.  I mean you have to expect some sort of pain at some point.  Despite the pain I pressed on.  It was hard this time around to find a rhythm so I was battling mentally to keep on going.  Then it happened.  A car missed me by less than 2 inches.  It was a guy who was racing another car in that street.  I wont say much about them but I did yell at them and the adrenaline started flowing very, very quickly.  At the end they left with out further incident but I felt startled by what could have happened.  I immediately though of it as a test and pushed my self to concentrate again on running and forget the incident.  I was not at all successful and could not run again.  I did finish a full hour of training.  After I finished I was proud vented and in pain but who cared I've just done something I though I could not do.  I even had the energy to drop by the pool and swim some 500 meters to cool down and get my aching muscles a little water time.  I all I failed mentally after I got rattled by the car but I was strong both physically and mentally to do what I though was not in me.  As I said in an earlier post.  The mind is who will push the body to do what the body thinks is not possible.  Just as it is necessary physically I need to practice mentally.  It will take some time but at this point that is my strongest  "sport" at the Moment.

Tomorrow 2 hour bike. "lets ride"

Sept. 3, 2010 Tough challenges ahead.

It didn't go to well with the Dr. yesterday.  Frankly my expectations were a bit higher.  I did not quite understand what he explained but in the end he changed one of the pills and elimitated another one so in the end it is still 4 pills.  I will try it his way for a little while, he is a good Dr. and I know he wants to keep me safe, but deep down this will not get in the way regardless.  I truly hope I can get these pills behind me as I loose the weight and get into better condition, if not, well then lets just say that he won't see much of me untill after the Ironman.

I did my bike workout last night.  It was pretty uneventfull except that I planned on 45 minutes but I steped off at 30 minutes.  I did not step off because I was quiting the workout, the truth was that my "butt" was killing me.  I don't like the trainer I like to actually ride.  But that is not always possible.  The trainer does not allow me to move arround so all weight is at the same points all the time and it hurts after a short while.  Lets keep in mind that sacrifice does not mean injury.  I felt as if I did not get off I would injur myself and that is not smart at this point.  On the other hand my back feels fine on the trainer contrary to the road where at 45 minutes it starts to bother me.  Again more weight consecuences.  However after a few minutes rest I got back on the bike and finished the 45 minutes although those last 15 munutes were very sloopy.

Today is a rest day and I plan to meet with coach K to better define my training, setup the system and touch base on some of the things for the kids.  It will be a long weekend.  Saturday we have a long run, sunday we have a long bike and monday open water swim.  One at a time.  I think my plan will be to run/walk for an hour.  I have to get the mentality that forward progress is forward progress.  I am going to try and walk for 10 minutes, run 1 mile at 14 min/mile, walk 10 minutes, run 1 mile at 14 min/mile, and then walk the rest of the hour.  If I can do that I would be thrilled.  Regardless of the outcome I plan to move ahead for 1 hour as quickly as I can.  For sunday they have a 2 hour bike ride.  My plan is to ride to the Dorado gas station and back.  It will be around 30 miles which will be my longest ride ever.  However it is almost 1/4 of the distance for the Ironman.  I know it does not mean at all that I can do a 1/4 Ironman or even close, but it means a little step forward.  It means I am up to 30 miles on the bike and that leaves me with only 110.6 miles to go.  Monday's open water dosen't scare me I am actually looking forward to it.  Out of the pool for the first time will test new things.  I will have to control my breathing and make sure I don't get over excited, but it will also give me a test of the how the real thing will be like.  Like I said I am not worried about it.

To conclude, I have continued to recieve massive support from family and friends.  I've felt this support before and it does make all the diffrence in the world.  I recieved a letter from my Mother yesterday.  I am not ready to discuss this letter yet and to be honest maybee I'll discuss it and maybee I won't but I am pretty sure that if I do it will be after the Ironman.  However I will say that she has dealt with many of my crazy, incredible, and many times stupid ideas before.  Many of them she has stopped, many she has ignored, and many others she has probably suffered while I carrried them out.  This time is diffrent because regardless of how crazy, incredible or stupid this idea is she suppots me 100% and that means tons.  Some people are going to support the cause I am doing this for, some will support me, some will support my family, at the end it doesn't matter who supports you, the important thing is that I feel it, I need it and I thank you for it.

P.S. Talking about support I think by now many are thinking about my wife and my kids.  Well I can tell you that my kids are thrilled and ejoying this very much.  However I will only say that Julissa is my biggest and most faithfull supporter.  This Ironman is as much about her as it is about me but at the moment I am not ready to talk about her.  Julissa, I will talk about, that is for sure.  Perhaps for those of you impatient enough, I encourage you to do some reaserch on the history, values and meaning of the Ironman.  I personally think that you could try to understand it but my respect for the people that have done it comes precisely from understanding it but not knowing what it really means.  You only know what the true meaning is when they call your name and you cross the finish line.  However I can asure you that Julissa not only understands it, but she also knows its meaning even if she has never completed an Ironman.  I promiss you she knows.

Sept. 2 2010 Is the mind still there?

A good friend suggested I started this blog yesterday so I coul document my training.  At first it seemed like a good idea but once I started writting I just felt that this was more than just a place to document my training.  I decided I will post here a little bit more than my training.  I decided I wanted to share my experience and my journey.  I want to document what doing an IronMan for a specific reason really means.  If I am doing this to help raise awareness and to pitch in the fight against this desease, I thought, why not share my story.  So folks that is what I have finally decided to do.  I will give meaning to this journey by documenting not only my training but by documenting 20 years of emotions, and thoughts.  I want everyone to understand how Cancer destroys your life but if you survive like me, you get a second chance to tell your story so that others will have hope and also look forward to surviving.  Coach K asked me this morning if I had to do this in a public way.  I know he was referring to many of the facebook and social networking consecuences where it is know customary to share almost your whole life with whoever wants you as a friend.  I know he did not meant anything by it and I am sure he was joking with me but little did he know that yes, This is my story!!!!

Today was my first formal training.  Last night Coach K finally answered the call and accepted to train me with a little twist in that he will also be doing the event alonside us.  I slept well with no worries after all there is still a year ahead.  I showed up to the pool and was ready for "whatever".  My goal was simple, just do as your told and finish the first practice.  I have been swiming for a few months now so I new it was not going to be that bad but you never know.  Water is not a problem for me I feel very confortable when in the water regerdless of it being open water, lakes, rivers, or in this case the pool.  Even before I jumped in I had my mind set in that this work out was going to be more of a mental test than a phisical one.  I needed to prove my self that I still had the same attitude and mental readiness I had 20 years ago when I was doing some serious military training.  Back then, the body did not matter, it became only an instrument of what you needed to do.  It was all mind over matter.  I always remember what we used to say to each other when all you could think of was quiting.  "Just Keep going, that SOB has to sleep at some point".  I applied that concept today.  I knew Coach K only had an hour with us so that would pretty much be the extent of my suffering.  I did my best to train as hard as I could.  We did a lot of drills which I hate, but lets just say I have done some of them before and I know them pretty well.  I needed to define how I would tackle this journey and I am pretty confident I found the answer.  I won't question my coach I would do what I am told. I am here voluntarily so I will concentrate on doing everything I an assigned to do, as good and as precise as I can.  I felt sloopy but I know I will get better as I get stronger which by the way I felt today.  Very strong that is.  My reveiling moment came when the coach made us do a drill that involved swiming underwater for as long as we could.  He was trying to make a point to the group, but to me it came as moment of truth.  The Navy seals perform this same excersice with a little twist.  They are not allowed to surface for air until they have crossed the length of the pool or simply pass out.  Passing out is failing, but surfacing for air is veiwed as a lack of comitment.  The excersice has its purpose.  It shows the new trainees that they can indeed acomplish things that in the beginning they felt were imposible.  Crossing the pool is just a taste of acomplishment and it teaches that the body will take you further as long as you learn to push it to new limits.  I stayed back for a few moments and just convinced myself that I needed to push as far as I could.  I set a goal which turned out to be my doughter Gabriela who at the time was the farthest down the pool.  I took a breath and promised myself I would not surface until I have passed her, NO MATTER WHAT.  I pushed off the side and then cheated a little bit with the floor but at the end I surfaced beyond her mark.  I felt very good, obviously not phisically because I was very close to passing out, but mentally. Seeing all those people behind me felt pretty good.  I was not the furthest, a couple of others went just a little bit further, but to me it was not about winning or loosing.  The Ironman is an individual achievement and that is exactly what I found today in that drill.  An individual achievement.  I acomplished what I had put my mind to do and that was a huge step for me.  I could feel the fire in my head, I felt that I still had the mental readiness I would need for this, so all that is left is getting my body in shape.  I am sure coach K will take care of that.

I am on my way to the cardiologist to see if I can rid of the cardio blocker which will make my training easier.  We will see what happens.

First 24 Hours.

I am extremely exited, I am oficially training for an IronMan competition.  Wow!!  Yesterday I did a 45 minute bike ride on the trainer.  It was hot and sweet was flowing like I have not seen in a long time.  I felt pretty good this morning and went for a 5:00 run training with the kids who are also training for their respective events.  I tried to run at the track but was very hard on my knees so I decided to walk at a faster pace.  I have planned to swim today but the pool was closed this morning.  I will try again after work and if not I will try anothe bike run just to do something.  As of this afteernoon coach K agreed to train me for the event.  Thank God.  I will have no problem with the training and I will bust my but to finish whatever he throws at me but my nutrition will be a challenge.  I am open to change but I have a very sweet tooth and I eat very litlle viriety of food so loosing weight which is a first priority will take some doing.  I will try my best but if I fail at that I will have to train just that much harder.  Tomorrow I am going to the Dr. to try and get rid a heart blocker I take for my blood pressure.  It prevents my heart from speeding up so it prevents me from doing certain intensity of workouts.  i hae that feeling but I rather talk to him instead of leaving that pill on my own and creating something worse.  I am almost sure he is going to want to deal the pill for at least 20-30 pounds which I have no problem with but he will want to keep me on it untill I loose the weight.  I will try to reason with him and if that does not work I will try to bribe him, and if that does not work I will tell him that if cancer did not kill me I doubt that doing excersice will.  At the end I will do what he tells me he is a great guy and I know he will make sure I am safe and finish the Ironman at the same time.

Today's stats 260.2lbs
Blood Pressure.  lets just say high!!!