I tried to blog yesterday and spent a good two hours trying. Just before I started I had visited Team Winters Blog and for the first time saw the videos that were posted including her first triathalon with her mom to honor her dad and do something about cancer. I could not write anything, I could not get them off my mind and I felt such rage and anger towards this desease again that I just had to go to bed as I have done many times before in 19 years. I wont talk about the bad I will talk about what those videos meant to me. This is a family of fighters just like me. This little girl is just something else and Dawn is just a person like very few will exist. They converted the negative into a positive and evnthough cancer took one of their members, cancer has not backed them down one inch. I truly believe it takes some one like me, a survivor, to understand what the dark hours of this familly are really like and to understand what these remarkable persons go thru in the privacy of their sleep and their thoughts. It took me 19 years to face my monsters and talk about my ordeal so as decided as ever somehow I will cross that finish line to honor the Vineki family and their remarkable acomplishments and example.
I went to sleep as expressed above but just as I did every chemo day I woke up decided that cancer would not beat me and today it was the bikes turn. Last sunday the bike beat me up. It took all the power I had and left nothing for that last hill. It smiled in my face at 39.6 miles and left me there to think about it for a week. Well my friends I had new inspiration last night and as I started my ride I was decided it will be 40 miles, 2 hours 45 minutes no matter what and today I was willing to loose some teeth over it. We took off on our usual route. Early I figured my plan would take me to the gas station after the Dorado hotels near Cerro Gordo Beach and back. I stayed with the pack for the most part but today it broke pretty early and people were just going faster that I could in good councious go and make it back. Today I thought of every detail including the wind heading back. I still caved in to push and found myself a few times forcing the pace. Jochi had left me and went of with his Ironman friends ahead to never see him again. Julissa picked him off after an hour as scheduled. After 15 miles I remained in a pack of 6 which included Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2002, Isis Casalduc. Isis has helped us with some things for Team Jochi and is a good rider except as she told me she rode on the trainer for 3 hours yesterday. My God how could she do it. We pushed thru and interchanged the point. Isis and myself fell behind at some point about mile 17 and we were loosing the small pack. I was even further back and I just figured that it would be harder alone that with all the company. I waited until we got to flat spot and just went for it. I picked up speed and was doing a good 27 mph on the aero bars and reaching Isis pretty quickly. I started calling her attention and telling her to get on the pedals so she can get behind me and we can catch up to the pack. As I got closer to her she figured out what I was saying and got moving. I can only wonder her thoughts but I will bet that she must have thought that such a big draft was hard to let it go by. I mean I may not be an avid rider but my friends I guarantee you the draft pocket behind 248 pounds must be pretty good. It is probably the kind of draft Lance Armstrong only dreams of. Anyway we caught up to the pack and kept on going although I was winded and drained. It was only a few meters short of the gas station so I kept going as I knew my rest was pretty close coming. I pulled in and the others continued on. I had never met these guys and girls in the pack but were nice people and I had a good time riding with them. What I just shared with you might not be important to many but for me it is because 3 weeks ago I would not even dream of drafting anyone and today I am helping people catch up with packs. That is huge progress for me.
I pulled in to the gas station and got off the bike. Just as planned 1hour 10 minutes, 19 miles. I had figured extra time to get back because of the wind and the extra mile will come as my route back will vary just a little because of one way streets. Julissa pulled up in the support car and Gabriela got ready to ride back with me on what would be her longest and final ride before her first triathlon. I took on water and a little sugar pick me up along with a gel pack. I rested a little bit and gave time to get feeling back in my ass as it had been numb for a good half hour. The plan was to get back no stopping, no excuses. We started heading back and as Gaby wormed up we started doing some all out repetitions which I just had a blast doing with my little girl. Despite having fun I knew I was using valuable power I will need to get back but who cared I was having fun with my daughter and nothing replaces that. Since I have been riding with Jochi for half the distance and then getting back with Gaby I feel like a grayhound dog at the track. It is like they throw me a fresh legged rabbit all the time for me to chase. Regardless I was not mistaken about the wind which pounded us all the way back. With 5 miles to go I hit the wall. I was very slow and felt no power in my legs. I was decided I would not stop so I pushed thru. I called the suport car and asked for my recovery drink. I drank my recovery drink as quickly as I could and took a power gel. I struggled thru until about 2 miles to the end. I had been on the bike for 2 hours and 35 minutes but I was feeling a second wind and I was hungry. All of the sudden it seemed posible. Yes, I had no intention of stoping, we were going for breakfast. Gaby stoped for a second to let me catch up as I was calling on them. I told them we will continue to ride about 7 more miles to the bakery we usually have breakfast. Gaby was in as always so on we went. The ride was fairly flat and since we were inside the city the wind would not pound us as hard. The catch.... an 10 degree 200 meter hill about 1 mile from the bakery. It was unavoidable, I had many other route options but all had a hill, longer or shorter, steeper or flater, so my friends I was climbing a hill no matter what. I knew I had no power to take on such a hill but like I said today I had a plan for everything. I wanted Gaby to climb the hill because I know that things like that boost her confidence. For a good mile I gave her instructions on how to attack the hill and told Julissa to stay with Gaby. My plan...... simple, I was not even going to try. There were more important acomplishments today than climbing that hill. I had already ridden 43 miles and had been on the saddle for 2 hours 58 minutes. I decided I will just walk the hill up. No shame, it was just the plan. As we made the turn I was yelling encouragement to Gaby to just push her way up. She did just that. As I saw her climb I was a super proud dad and saw once again that my little girl has one of my qualities. Perseverance! She waited for me at the top as I walked up. I stopped and hydrated a little bit. We had some high fives as the only thing between us and the bakery was a huge hill down. Down we went and off the bikes. Gaby had a 10 minute brick which after 26 miles I cut it short to a couple of minutes just till she got her legs back. She did awsome today and I had a wonderfull time. Final toll was 45.05 miles and 3 hours 5 minutes on the bike. WOW!!!!!
I was hurting and still am but I was very happy. What I did today was good to the overall picture. I had to pull thru difficult situations and I was decided to carry out the plan which I did. I also proved I am getting stronger by the day and that I am making progress which is esential to maintain my motivation alive and well. But the best thing is that I am not suffering thru this, on the contrary I am happy doing this and all my reasons are the right ones, I have no doubt about that. In the end I feel like a cat, give me a cookie and I want a glass of milk!!!!
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