August 5, 2011 Happy Birthday!!! You son of a bitch!!!!!

As I am doing today, 20 years ago I was getting ready for a sporting competition in Miami Fla.  The next 3 weeks after that would change my life for ever as 20 years ago in August I would have a growing tumor in my right eye which will later be diagnosed as a Rabdomiosarcoma of the orbit.  CANCER.  Back then it was a good thing I was already trained by the Military and had learned to perfection the art of turning your fear into power and determination along with a self sense of preserving the most precious thing in the world.  LIFE.  If not maybe I would not be talking to you today.

So.......  20 years later I am here and ready for a big challenge.  Actually huge.  I must tell you that at this point I am in full combat mode and sense of life preservation along with determination.  I have indeed in the past weeks converted my grater fears into the power of determination. 

I will at the end of the event talk in detail about what it is that has transpired in the past weeks.  However I will let you all know this.  I suffered a stroke last Tuesday........  As a consequence it damaged what was my good eye rendering me "legally blind".............................  As I said, I will answer all you questions and thoughts after the event but I will say that the word Cancer has been mentioned quite repeatedly in the past few days.  I want you all to get something very clearly.  In previous posts I said that Cancer was something you knew you had.  It is a physical tumor but it is also a feeling you get.  Friends I am telling you right now. I DO NOT HAVE CANCER.  Period!!!!!!

Although "legally blind", term I am trying to figure out myself the Ironman is a go.  I have been given no limitations as to my training or the event itself.  But having said that I think you all know by now that even if there were limitations I was going on with this, regardless.

I want you all  to know that it took less than a minute to have the support of my teammates for which I am humbled and honored.  Less than a minute after, I had a running partner, a cycling partner but most of all the willingness of several individuals who have trained their asses off to get personal records or times of 12 hours or less in the Ironman, to leave all that behind and serve as my eyes for the event to end up with a time of almost 17 hours.  Many things have touched my heart in my life but few like that.  I now have a running partner, Kiki who has remained by my side ever since my stroke during training.  We have talked about how you turn fear and panic into instinct and how when that happens heroic things take place.  She is practical just as I am so we do our best to train to coach K standard but guess what.  We have more fun than what we really train and that is just perfect for me at this point.  Actually we only have 3 weeks to do what we know would be a memorable thing in the eyes of every Ironman in the Island.  Getting off the bike and coming back home on a PISA Y CORRE.  I believe that is the message I need to pass right now to my team mates.  No, not to come back on a pisa y corre.  The Ironman is an individual sport of great and spectacular accomplishments.  You have all trained very hard and you are all ready to make your dream come true.  Whatever I can or cannot see, will not be a determining factor in weather I finish or not.  However my biggest satisfaction will only be accomplished by being part of your goals being won in your hearts and your souls.  Trust me, in my heart I will make 10 hours or 12 hours, as I will be swimming, riding and running with you guys as we have done for almost a year in practice.  Nothing changes, nothing.  We all train, you finish, and eventually I arrive to wherever we are going.  Nothing changes come event day.

You do not sit idle while life takes a swing.  You better get up and start swinging your self or you will die miserable and alone.  You do not sit down waiting for a doctor to tell you how screwed up you are or when it will all be over.  But most importantly, you NEVER, EVER, let someone tell you what you are capable or not of accomplishing.  I do in fact care about all the things in your minds right now, family, work, money, friendships, kids, etc.  The difference is, I am sure I can overcome any obstacle that is placed in front of me because I have all the love in the world from my family and friends, all the straight in the world because I believe in myself, and all the passion it takes to live life like there is no tomorrow........  And if that does not work, I know how to Blow it up!!!!!

To my training partners and Ironman Partners.  You have been part of something very special in my life and I will forever remember all of you especially the crew for Ironman Canada and Kentuky.  Kiki, in a short time you have become very special to me, thank you.  Thanks to GOD I will not need your eyes but will forever cherish, remember and love your company.  Come race day I will be looking for you as I always do and will see you even if you are not there.  Thank you!!!

Ohhhhh no.  No sir!!!!  I am not done!!!!  Not yet!!!!

To you, my most hated old friend, Cancer.  I must say thank you.  Yes, thank you.  You know I was wondering how I was going to get thru the hard parts of the Ironman since my life has changed so much.  As I have said, I am not angry anymore.  However, you need to know that when it comes to you, I am not that cured either!!!!!!  So ....... you have decided to pretend to show your ugly face again.  Wrong deal, I already killed you once but this time if you decide to show up I promise on my fathers grave that I will fuck you up real nice!!!!  Again!!!.  You need to know that my friends and me have put some money on your head so if I were you, I would buckle up caue it is going to be a rough ride............  By the way, HAPPY 20th  BIRTHDAY YOU SON A BITCH!!!!!!!  I am still here.