I wish I knew what my father would think about this whole adventure. My father was not complicated he was actually very simple. He was raised in the urban area of Camaguey Cuba. An area called 15 1/2 (Quince y medio). I learned a lot from visiting there. The most important thing was that it was nothing more than a hut on dirt road. However my father cherished that place. He was a writter and a great public speaker although his public speaking subjects were kind of profound and as a young kid i though of them as senseless. Well I know he would be disappointed but what are sons for.....at 41 I still think his subjects were senseless. He was a spiritual man and a hard worker. I think he was disapointed with society in a broad sense and it was probably because of his humble up bringing. I learned very recently as I read some old articles that my father was kind of radical and actually a little less than diplomatic. Like me. But I also know that some 40+ years latter he was absolutely right on his convictions. He was one of thoose persons that had such a work ethic that he made over the years many succesfull businesses. All of which failed eventually. His futuristic vision was always in Cuba not anywhere else so he cared little about the future devolopment of his businesses or his life in exile.
He didn't understood the modern world and were it was heading. His true happiness resided far away from where he was. I never talked with my father about my two other siblings that remained in Cuba and latter moved to Miami. I kind of wondered the story but I never knew in fact what had happened. Not that I cared but you sometimes get curious about your past and your foundation. Very recently I learned that my father as an expat in Miami kept very close contact with my other brother and sister. I read the letters and the telegrams and to my complete satisfaction my father was an honorable man and made some very serious attempts to get his children out of comunism and get them a better life. This was done as he was in exile and trying to start a new life.
I will never know why my father never got into sports or even went to games or that type of thing. I kow times have changed but still. I can say though that he was the first one to call my ideas stupid when they were in fact stupid. He never got to involved but in the end he gave me values and a work ethic that has carried me thru so far with flying colors. He wasn't always the most diplomatic and his relationship with Julissa was very dificult during the first few years. He had his opinion, the wrong one, but it was his opinion and in true Garcia way it stuck until he was proven diffrently.
Like I said, the modren world never existed for him, so when I got dignosed with cancer it truly meant death for him. He listened to all the things doctors said and all the studies and what it all meant, but again in true Garcia fashion his opinion was made. Cancer = death. He was wrong but in the next 13 months he would slowly die inside eaten away from what was his belief. I have always believed that he died the day I was diagnosed, he just hung around to see if he was right or wrong or maybe to make sure I had every chance I needed. Regardless of their difrrences Julissa took over his care while I was in treatment and moved to Miami with my mom. Julissa would take him lunch to his office and would spend some time with him in the evenings. It took very little time before my father truly new how wrong he was about Julissa and from that point on Julissa was untouchable. She became unseprable from my father and I am sure he cared for her like a doughter. It never happened but I believe that if Julissa and me would have ended our relationship, the relationship between Julissa and my father would have continued probably till this day.
My father died February 14 in the early hours of the morning. He suffered a massive heart attack. I revived him three times. Each time his heart would start up it would be for shorter period of time. He died litteraly in my hands. We placed him on the bed and lit a candle. His expresion was very peacefull. I think of him every day!!! He would for sure call the Ironman a crazy idea. Probably the craziest according to him. He would for certain say I had my head screwed on backwards. Ironically he would think that way until he would arrive in Canada. As the event would unfold he would start understanding and even as he would never quite get the hang of it he would have been proud to see me cross the finish line. I missed a good part of my dad, I missed the part where we could talk some profound subjects and I could probaly share many things with him that I didn't get the chance. I would have probaly learned quite a few things from him. My father would have been crazy with his grandchildren and even as he would question the motivation for a sport like triathlon he would be there cheering for Jochi and Gaby at every event. His sport was baseball, but he would eventually catch on I know he would.
Having him around would have been perfect. Unfortunately that is how life works and how it is supposed to work. I dodn't think my fahter died of a heart condition, I think cancer killed him. My cancer, as he could not deal with the illness, the treatment, and his predetermined posible outcome. All that remains to say is that I miss my dad!!
No comments:
Post a Comment