Sept. 5 2010 History repeats it self.

They say that history repeats it self and they are probably right.  August 1991, Bascom Palmer Institute, Miami Fl. about 9:00AM.  I was greeted as if I was someone of grater importance than just a patient there for an eye problem.  It didn't matter really I already knew it wasn't good.  I knew that a month ago.  Its a feeling is something you just carry inside and I as said at the very beginning I had peace.  Maybe it was that peace you hear people get before they are going to die or maybe it was just juvenile ignorance and stupidity.  What ever it was I was very peaceful and ready for whatever came out of the doctors mouth.  Dr.TSE " I have your results and we are still trying to determine what type of tumor we extracted from your orbit.  There are two possibilities.  One is a tumor that has been reported in children up to the age of 5.  It is very aggressive but it reacts very well to treatment and the prognosis would be very good with in one year.  Two is a tumor that has been reported only 7 times around the world and all 7 patients have been women.  This tumor has no treatment."  Alberto "What does that mean".  Dr. Tse "I am referring you to an oncologist at the Miami Sylvester cancer center next door.  We will wait until tomorrow for the official result."  Alberto " What happens if it is the bad one"  Dr. Tse " We would have to operate you and remove your eye"  Alberto " Would that get rid of both regardless of which one it is"  Dr. Tse "yes, but the Rabdomysarcoma is treatable with chemotherapy and radiation......."  Alberto " Cut it off, it does not matter I have two I'll keep one, Just get it over with and cut it off, I am ready."  Dr Tse " we need to wait..............."  I will never forget that conversation word for word.  In reflection I wasn't scared or brave I was decided.  Even today I think the same way, but don't get confused he never mention the word cancer and I had no clue what an Oncologist did.  Dr. did his job, he covered all the bases and let me know what horrible days lied ahead.  To this day he is one of my guardian angels and I am very thankful of his honesty and for allowing the greatest surgeon of all to take over. God!!!

Last night I had dinner with my coach, CoachK.  He has been training Jochi for a while and we have developed a good friendship.  Coach K is a good guy committed to his future and a family man.  We went to dinner to discuss my training and what steps we needed to take to get the job done.  He was as professional as in 1991 Dr. Tse was.  He told me the good, the bad, and the ugly about Ironman Canada, an event he has done before.  He emphasized on the hilly terrain and the bike and run climbs and put a time table for my training and goals.  In a way I was sitting in that chair exactly as I was 19 years ago listening to my diagnostic.  In total peace.  It does not matter what the terrain looks like of what it takes to cross the finish line.  What ever it takes I will do and I have so been advised that this medicine will not taste good.  Coach K you will be my guardian angel I am very thankfull for your honesty and integrity but in my heart I know that God is swimming with me, riding with me , and running with me.  I knew this at the beginning of my treatment and I know it now at the beginning of my journey.

Today I went for my bike ride.  I felt good about it and I knew it was a test.  I needed to know how far I could push.  We were all in a big group, some were going for 4 hours some for 2.  The group dissipated after about 20 minutes into the ride.  I stayed back because Gabriela was also riding and being the smallest she was also the slowest.  In a couple of minutes the group was gone and it was just Gabriela and myself riding along.  Our goal was for about a 1.5 hour ride totaling about 15 miles for Gabriela and 20 miles for me.  I had never ridden more than 20 miles total and had never ridden more than 30 minutes continuously.  After about 5 miles Gabriela was not in riding mode so I decided to get her picked up by our support car driven by Julissa.  She had stoped to gas up so it took a few minutes for her to catch up.  When she did I told her to pick up Gabriela and I took off after the group which was nowhere to be seen.  I had been riding for about 25 minutes and felt good and strong.  I pressed on concentrating on shifting to the terrain, keeping cadence up and to continue to pedal continuously.  I was soon at our usual resting gas station about 12 miles into the ride.  Time to head back right.  Wrong, not today.  My support car was nowhere to be found because Julissa had started chase of Jochi who was with his Ironman friends up in front just ripping the asphalt.  I was all alone with no I pod, and no support.  The ironman is an individual sport and rules don't allow you to wear and ipod or get any outside assistance.  This is what it is going to be about.  I flew passed the resting stop and committed to the impossible at this point.  A two hour ride, no stopping, and no excuse.  It was just me the bike and the road.  I pressed on and felt pretty good although I must admit that I was hoping to find the support car at some point since I was running out of watter.  At 1:38 I took my last water sip and kept on going.  I knew I would get into trouble if the support car didn't show up since I had been riding for 1:45 minutes and now I had nothing left to drink and hydrate.  Not one minute passed when as I was climbing a very soft little hill I felt the cramp coming very strong and invading my hamstring.  I identified it immediately and took my clips of the pedal and stretched out the leg which received the cramp.  I was lucky.  However I only had one stroke left which was pushing down, I could no longer lift on the pedal stroke or I would cramp.  I started evaluating my options and I realized that I committed a huge mistake earlier in the morning.  I had no money and no phone.  So without knowing it I was on a full dress rehearsal with about 15 minutes to go.  I was committed I kept going some miles were good and some were sloppy but I was using every terrain advantage I could get resting on the down hills and taking it easy on the up hills.  2:00:00 and I finally get off for the first time.  My mind was rocking.  I was making all kind of calculations all probably not true but it didn't matter I just rode 28 miles in 2:00:00 without stopping.  That is 1/4 the Ironman bike ride @ 257lbs and with no water for the past 30 minutes and probably 7 miles.  All of the sudden it was confirmed possible.  It is possible I can do this I just have to train for it.  I borrowed a phone at a Tire changing station and called Julissa who was probably 25 miles away.  Usually I would be very mad at something like this happening but today I had a huge accomplishment so that was enough.  We agreed she would take the road towards me and I would ride towards her and would meet somewhere in the road.  The guy at the station had no water so I was still dehydrating relatively fast.  I took on the road back being very carefully about cramping.  About 15 minutes later I was starting to feel the pain.  My neck was starting to act up and my feet were falling asleep.  I figured that since I was not pulling on the pedals I could loosen the shoes and ride with loose shoes which I did.  I ran into a couple of riders going back and forth but had no time to ask them for water because they were going fairly fast.  They see this big guy on a bike going slow they don't figure anything is wrong they just figure it is only natural.  Regardless I was not in that much trouble.  I was not thirsty I just knew I was dehydrating severely damaged muscle tissue with a lot of lactic acid going around.  By know my butt is my biggest enemy and my back is starting to take the load and I can feel it getting tighter.  At that point I was decided to stop the next rider by and ask for some water and rest a little bit, but it happened to be one of Jochis Ironman friends who just zipped by on the aero bars at about maybe 24-25 miles and hour.  I wasn't about to stop his training for my stupidity so I let him go by and said nothing.  Thankfully Julissa showed up a minute or so later.  I was ok.  Very sore and tired but I was really ok.  I chugged about a quart of water but immediately looked at my bike telemetry.  33 miles and 2:22:00 ride.  I was so proud nothing else mattered. 

I accomplished something today.  I pushed myself with very little mental effort.  I knew what I had to do and I kept moving forward.  I can fix what went wrong but in the end I had a little bit of the Ironman experience.  I was alone and a victim or beneficiary of my decisions.  In the end I already have a new target to work on.  As  I got home I took an ice bath but I can feel my body severely spent and I am a little dehydrated which I am working on.  We have a swim tomorrow, i am sure I will be hurting but I will do my best to complete that training.

Dr. Tse and Coach K had a lot of bad news to deliver.  They did their jobs as professionals and I took my decisions as my heart dictated.  As decided as I was to get rid of my cancer using what ever method I could find, I am as decided to cross that finish line.  History repeats its self!!!