Feb 22 2011 1.2 mile swim, 56 miles on the bike, and then a 1/2 marathon

It will be another 6 months until I celebrate the 20th anniversary of my cancer diagnosis.  At this time, that year I had no clue what was about to happen, how my life will change for the good and the bad forever.  How my destiny would be written and certainly there was no Ironman in sight or even imaginable.  That was almost 20 years ago. 

Life is all about today, it is about what you do today and what if anything you would be able to do tomorrow.  Life is about passion, it is about disappointment, it is about religion and belief, it is about falling in love, and certainly is about crying and loosing those dearly close to you.  Life is all about BALANCE.  The fragile balance of life.  There is no waiting until tomorrow there is no "future" and there is absolutely no second chances.  That is what living is all about.  Some people will live life to the fullest and some will just pass thru.  Some will fade into the night and some like me will most likely go with a big Bang!!!

It's a race.....  Thousands of people do it every year....  How hard can it really be......  Why is it so important?  All you have to do is train.......   Well all of it is true, simply placed it is very true.  We all have our reasons.  Some will look for glory, some the thrill of competition, some will bet their futures on it as professionals, some will use it as a PR campaign, and yet some will use it as a fashion show or a social event.  Frankly it is all good.  Deep in my heart I truly hope that all of the 1600 competitors have the time of their lives.  I will enjoy as my son will be watching those that will give this Island a show.  No.......not our guests, no , our own.  Carlos Lomba, Fabian Roman, Edgardo Velez, Kenneth Carino, Rafa Colon, Carlos etc.  In our waters, on our roads and on our streets these guys will give it all to show the next generations how it is done.  Me.........far from that, for me it is a life experience.  It will mark the accomplishment of doing something I could only dream of doing. It will mark the beginning of me finally giving something back to this wonderful life I've had the privilege of living.  It will be a tribute to me and only me.  I will once again show me that you are not dead until you are inside the hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's only half.  Maybe but still you must learn to crawl before you walk.  It will be part of my therapy, my healing therapy,  I said back in September I was angry and even as some of it has in fact been dealt with, it is only because I can feel it in my training.  I need to make it official.  That will happen on March 19, 2011.  I wont leave half my anger then, it does not work that way.  What I will do is officially crown myself as a survivor that can accomplish something big and by doing that I can prove to myself that I can in fact change something.  Really, read that one more time, CHANGE SOMETHING.  That is what is all about, that is where I can leave my anger and feel like I did in fact do something about cancer and about me so it will never hurt any one else.  It will bring CLOSURE.  Thru my training and my journey, including writing this blog I have learned the real meaning of what I am doing.  CLOSURE, sounds easy but it is not.  Closure is accomplished first by finishing the 70.3 and then by getting to Canada and finishing that.  Why, well for starters I would have collected $3,500.00 for cancer research and second I would have demonstrated to many just what it is that us survivors can really do after treatment.  But, to end it all, I would have shown my kids, not taught but shown, that you can indeed accomplish anything you put your mind to.  Nothing is impossible.  That is important and that will help me Close out what I had begun.  It is about feeling alive again and maybe, just maybe, and this is a big Maybe, I can once again look and plan for the FUTURE!!!!!!  That my friends is a reason all by it self.

My friends this is not big it is HUGE, it will mark my life once again and is something that I will carry with passion for the rest of my life.  I am very nervous but I am also very ready.  I have turned my fears into confidence, I am absolutely sure that my training will eventually take over.  19 years ago I decided I would not be defeated by cancer and thru a miracle and GOD'S grace I am here to tell you about it.  I won't need a miracle now, those are for things more important, but I can still feel him by side just as I did that night in Miami Beach, except now he has his running shoes on.  1.2 mile swim, 56 miles on the bike, and a 1/2 marathon, no problem, bring it on!!!!!!