I hope all of you following had a wonderful celebration and may the new year bring you all the happiness in the world. For me it is the start of something beyond myself. It is the year I do something for someone. It is the year I finally make my peace with cancer and my whole experience. It is the year I will attempt to do something amazing along side amazing people of all ages and beliefs. But most important it is the year I give out my most robust testimony that God is there and is always watching over us. I could not be happier.
It is all becoming very real now. It is not next August anymore or even next year. It is here, this August, this year. I just completed my registration with Athletes for a Cure for the 2011 Canada Ironman. It is now as real as it will get. In my first race ever I will be racing with a group of remarkable people that take their time and effort to help other in need. Others like I once was!!! That is pretty powerful. I am very nervous about the whole deal but I continue to trust my training, determination and my coach who has proven me wrong constantly. Yesterday I was disgusted with my training in the morning. We went as scheduled on our long ride along the hills of Aguas Buenas. Now, these were not the same hills as before. They were much longer and steeper. To make a long story short I just could not finish the climb. In my sorry, excuse filled world, I convinced my self that those hills wee above my riding ability and physical capacity. I am also convinced that I an very wrong but what is done is done. I took on the "broom" at about 1:30 and stoped riding. I followed as Jochi and Gabi were still riding and supported the team with water and mechanical if needed, but I was truly embarrassed about it. I failed, I truly did fail. My mind won yesterday. Not that the whole thing is a bad one as I will overcome it and I will climb that hill sooner or later. You all better believe that. I was so disgusted with my self that I took on a second training session on the afternoon and went out riding again and planned to do my brick session as planned for the morning. I took the flat rout in the afternoon since even as bad as I did in the morning I did do some climbing. I went out and rode it hard, as if I needed to prove something. I was riding at great speeds and I was doing super times but I was never contempt in my ride as I was there because I failed in the morning. As I finished my ride I went out for my brick. Then.... well lets just say God acts in mysterious ways. 1 mile....10minutes 10 seconds..... No way. I think my watch must be broken or something. I have never ever ran a 10:10 mile before. This one was off the bike. I was in shock. My graph looks very good as it should look with a steady pace and heart rate at a gradual but steady climb up hill. WOW!!!!! As I was done, I must admit I became happy and appreciative. I was happy because I can see what I am now capable of doing and contempt with my coach. I felt I let him down in the morning but I think I made up for it in the afternoon. I also realized that my insecurities will probably be my own enemy and that I will have to get over them in order to get on with it. I need to get some attitude going in my favor and need to get with the pain program to get better. I need to refocus mentally. I am the only one able to do that.
As I progress events start to pile up. I will be doing a 10 miler on Saturday, a half marathon in February, and a 1 mile, 40 mile, 10 mile triathlon also in February. These are all big boy events and I am right in them. Till a couple of months ago and even today I would not even dream of finishing anyone of these events I am all signed up for. I have no idea what to expect but I am confident Coach K knows where I should be and he will let me know how I am doing. I am numb at this point, I am doing almost every thing I am supposed to be doing and I feel great. I need to continue to work on my run and I am sure that finishing the up and coming events will boost my confidence to new levels which I will greatly need.
It is 2011. January 10th to be exact, It is when it all becomes real!!!!!
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